I've never told him anything, I don't want to hurt his feelings, but he only showers once a week! He claims that he has a dry skin condition, and that if he showers too frequently his skin gets dried out and flaky. I think this is ridiculous. I watch him put on clean clothes in the morning without having bathed in days. His body odor is awful, and to make matters worse, he's uncircumised, and giving him oral sex, (which I've stopped doing completely now), is so disgusting because there is filth caked under his foreskin. To top it all off, he has the nerve to be anal about how clean the house is. He actually inspects countertops and floors to make sure I've cleaned them! It makes me sooo angry, this disgusting man who doesn't bathe telling me I didn't clean the house thoroughly enough. I could pull out my hair!
Sorry about the venting....
2006-09-08 04:05:13 · 36 answers · asked by wifey996 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Oh, and it case anyone is wondering, he did actually bathe regularly when we were dating...but we didn't live together before we were married, so I had no idea. And no, I'm not currently having any kind of sex with him.
2006-09-08 04:21:20 · update #1
Time to fess up to him. If you're offended by it, chances are other people are too. There are lots of products on the market for dry skin, and he needs to bathe with those instead of just not bathing. Withhold sex completely until he starts bathing regularly. That's disgusting, and he surely needs to know it.
2006-09-08 04:09:49 · answer #1 · answered by Andi 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is okay to vent and while you are at it make sure to let him know that you need some ventilation when he is around. I cannot image that you did not know that he was like this before you got married. So far as the sex that would stop all together. I am not having sex with someone who has filth caked on his penis, that is just nasty. I do not believe that bathing on a more regular basis is going to do that much harm. He may very well have some sort of condition but there are so many products out there that can help him. That will allow for him to not live in personal sloth and still keep his skin from drying out. I would stop cleaning the house for a few days and tell him that the that the house makes him feel when it is not clean is the way that you feel about his personal hygiene. Better yet clean the house as often as he bathes barter the cleaning of the house for the cleaning of his body.
2006-09-08 04:14:00 · answer #2 · answered by Nicole C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's great that you don't want to hurt his feelings but does he care about yours when he's going around leaving finger marks in the dust and critizing your house work? You have the opportunity right then to discuss his hygiene. You can also do it in a humorous &/or a serious way but right then is your chance.
You need to talk to him and if he has a problem with dry skin then buy a buch of different body soaps so that he can try them all to see which one will work for him and his skin. You could also tell him you're making him a Dr. appointment so that the skin problem can be resolved b/c you're tired of the smell from him not bathing..
I don't blame you for not having sex with him I wouldn't either - Vent away thats why we're here.
He may also have a mental condition that is not noticable, like bipolar, a chemical imbalance, there are other conditions that may cause this as well, he could also be depressed and this is what might be causing his hygiene problem it could be serious. You might have to remind him to put on deoderant daily (you know for better of for worse and for support issues...) You can also sugest to him that if he doesn't want to bathe daily then he must at least take a spounge bathe! Demand it! If he needs to be treated like a child about the manner then you may have to treat him as a child hurt feelings or not it is not healthy and you only want your attraction for him to return right!
Please talk to him otherwise these feelings you have now will only get worse and who knows where your marriage will be in a year from now. Just tell him enough excuses you're not buying them and to bathe regularly so that the house can smell as it should and so that you can look at him as you once did...... Hope this helps and he'll be a bit more responsilbe on the hygiene end for you and your marriage...
Oh and let me ask did he come from a big family? Was he only allowed to take one shower a week when he were younger? This also might have something to do with it, even if he had kept up on it better before you were married....
2006-09-08 04:50:17 · answer #3 · answered by sophia_of_light 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is he having depression issues after the baby? Letting your Hygiene slip can be an indicator of depression. You should address this with him like a guy. First, ask him if everything is OK and how he's feeling. If this is related to another problem like depression, you need to get him professional help. If he's ok, then you need to address the issue directly and let him know you would like it if he started using the new soap you bought him and the new kind of toothpaste. If he doesn't take a hint from that you need to be direct and say "look, sometimes after you shower you still smell. Please do more cleaning in whichever spots are a problem and please apply deodorant. I also need you to use this electric toothbrush to brush your teeth until the two minute timer stops it." Then be nice. Good luck. Remember you actually married this guy and had a kid with him. If you can't be honest with him then you have some much deeper issues.
2016-03-27 02:53:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh wow, I actually gaged reading that. You need to tell him about how you feel. Let him know that it affects your attraction to him. If he really does have a skin condition, see a doctor. I"m sure they can help at least a little. And even if he can't take an actually shower everyday, he could at least get some soap and a wash cloth and go over those areas that need extra attention, like that whole foreskin issue. I don't have a problem with a man being uncircumcised, but that is just gross
2006-09-08 04:16:44 · answer #5 · answered by I love sushi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe offer to shower together in an effort to get him in there more often. Let him know if he increases his showering to 3-4 times a week (every other day), he might get more head. Tell him if he is worried about dry skin you will rub lotion on him after every shower (you can get one that doesn't smell girly). Or maybe tell him that some of people have mentioned his bad odor to you and you are concerned.
Above all I would tell him to quit inspecting your cleaning job and he should worry about cleaning himself up instead.
2006-09-08 04:12:37 · answer #6 · answered by Sherry 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh girl I would be filling for a divorce. Thats right up there with abuse in my eyes. I can't stand people who have really bad BO and I will let them know that too.
Forget about hurting his feelings, he is not being considerate to you if he was he would shower so you would NOT have to smell him. Yeah I would not be having any kinda sex with him till he learns to shower daily. As for the dry skin tell him thats an excuse cause there is lotion he can apply to prevent that and if its too bad see a doctor. There is NO excuse for not taking a bath daily. If he can't shower daily I would be filling for a divorce.
2006-09-08 04:12:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've heard this before. Even though it sounds gross you should show him what it's like. I know how that sounds but actions are stronger than words. Just let him have a taste of how nasty that is. If that does not work then you should just tell him that it is a big turn off to have sex with someone who has worked and sweated all day. Just be polite about everything and things will work out.
2006-09-08 04:18:34 · answer #8 · answered by Just_Curious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well my dear if I was you I
wouldn't bother with his feelings, cause if he wants oral sex and he hasn't showered in days he would perform his own oral sex. And what I would do is not bath for a couple of days to and let him smell you for a change see if he likes smelling you. Maybe things would change and he would maybe start respecting you as a human being that have feeling and also a nose.
2006-09-08 04:13:50 · answer #9 · answered by sophie p 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my God girl, that is disgusting. I feel so bad for you. The next time he inspects the house, I would tell him to check his crack, and when that is clean, you will clean. Until then, dont touch the house. Whats he going to do? Kick you out? Either way you are going to win. Get to leave the house and his nasty D***, or have a clean D*** and a clean house!
2006-09-08 04:09:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋