Why do marriage partners behavior towards each other change after Marriage? Shouldnt it have the same love?

Answer 1

When you marry the right person it shouldn't change very much. It takes time to adapt to quirks and stuff, but if you really love each other it shows in your attitude and how you act.

Lots of people make huge mistakes when they're getting married. Most of us don't have a clue what to look for. We end up with people who excite us or have good sexual chemistry but after the fun wears off we don't have much left to connect on. I think that's why people start acting different in a marriage or don't treat each other right. The best way to make sure the love lasts is to make sure it's love to begin with.

A friend emailed this to me a few years ago when I was dating a woman who was very wrong for me. I saved the list because I wanted to remember it. It's probably the best advice I ever got. I think it answers your question. Marriage should not be rushed into and you have to figure out if your feelings are mostly about sex or not, and think about who are you most likely to have a real relationship with that's gonna last and not change. I like this test alot because it is a total eye opener. It makes you realize who in your life really loves you and who you probably love. It's also cool how the test makes you realize you probably already know or are around the woman you're gonna end up marrying.

The Marriage Counselor's Marriage Test
This test helps a man determine what really matters in a woman, and which one in his life is most likely to be "THE ONE". Think of all the women currently in your life. Think of the women you are dating and have dated. Think of the women you have been in relationships with who are still single and available to you. Think of the women you talk to at the grocery store, the cleaners, on the golf course, or in the park. Think of your female friends, work colleagues, and acquaintances. If you're a single man and want to marry, statistically it is likely you will eventually marry one of these women.


If you were in a coma, who would be the one that you know would be at your bedside long after the others had gone on with their lives?

If you were paralyzed and couldn't work, do any chores around the house, go out anywhere, or have sex, which one would be the most likely to still love you and stay with you?

If you were going through a difficult time at work and had negative emotions and moodiness, which one would most likely allow you plenty of space without selfishness or nagging?

If you were to lose your car, your home, and your savings which one would be most willing to stay with you and help you build your life again?

If you were sterile and couldn't have children, which one would be least likely to bring up the subject again or make you to feel guilty?

If your parents became disabled and needed to live with you, who do you think would be most likely to accept them into your home and treat them with care and dignity?

If you had children with one of the women you know, and eventually became divorced, which one would you trust the most to raise your children right?

If you could only have one woman to take to every sporting event, every outing, and every event for the rest of your life which one would you have the most fun with?

If you had children with one of the women you know, which one would your children be least likely to wonder why you married her?

Which one makes you laugh hardest?

Who do you talk with the most?

Which one is the most interested in the same things you love, the same places you like to go, the same activities you like to do?

When you're shopping for souvenirs, who is the one you constantly keep thinking she'd love this?

When you're experiencing something new or interesting, who is the first one to come into your mind that you wish you could share it with?

At the end of a hard day at work, who would you rather unload your day's frustrations on, knowing she'll listen and care?

At the end of a night with the boys or an event where she isn't with you, which one would you prefer to come home to and share your adventures of the day?

When you learn something new, make a big discovery, or accomplish something exciting, who is the first person you think of telling?

If you were stranded on a deserted island for one year, which one would make your days pass more quickly because you were having so much fun together?

If you were stranded on a deserted island for one year, which one would you like to have lying next to you looking up at the stars?

If you were stranded on a deserted island for one year, which one would be most likely to cheerfully adapt to the situation and contribute to your survival?

When you go to bed at night, who is the last one you usually find yourself calling?

If you committed a felony crime, who would you be most likely to tell?

If each of the women you know were being mistreated by another man, which one would you feel most protective of?

Which one would be most likely to discourage you from spending too much on her, and would want you to save your money?

Which one would be most likely to accept that you couldn't afford the car she wanted, the house she wanted, the vacation she wanted, or the luxuries she wanted?

Which one is most likely to accept your flaws and find ways to make you feel comfortable about them?

If you had Alzheimer's disease and couldn't communicate your needs anymore, which one would be most likely to bring you the new CD of your favorite music artist or new movies she knows you would enjoy?

If you were blind, who would you trust the most to take care of you, make sure you had everything you want and need, and never let you feel helpless?

If you were blind, whose voice would you most want to hear for the rest of your life?

If you became impotent, which one would be the least likely to betray you in spite of her own physical desires?

If you became impotent, which one would it sadden you most to know is no longer able to have a physical relationship?

If you had a child from a previous marriage, which one would be the most likely to be loving, attentive, and accepting of your child as her own?

Which woman would be least likely to criticize and try to change your hair, clothes, car, house or apartment, pets, or friends.

If you were forced to cheat on every woman you know, except you could spare one woman from that pain, which one could you not allow yourself to hurt in this way?

If you were on a roller coaster right now, who is the first person coming to mind that you would want to experience it with you?

Which one is the most likely to be concerned about your well-being and tell you when you're doing something that could hurt you?

Which one would your family most likely say is the perfect woman for you?

If you were to die tomorrow, which one would be most likely to remember to take care of your pets?

If you were to die tomorrow, which one would be most likely to cry the hardest and cry the longest?

If you were to die tomorrow, which one would you most trust as a speaker at your wake to best communicate to everyone the value of you and your life?

Which one would be most likely to visit your grave on your birthday every year and leave something she thought you would like or that she thought would make you laugh?

Which one do you wish you could hear what she was saying when she was alone at your grave so you could know how she really felt about you?

Answer 2

There are more than an answer to this question
1st- When u're married all there was to life was the 2 of u and nothing else mattered in the world,but over time u start planning a family,finances on house,work pressure,one way or the other extended family issues comes up,children needs and character may have u tilting towards them. With all these changes are bound to happen,it take a family firm in the lord and those whose can share,tolorate,be patience and can perserve to keep their love in tact.Most of all the children tend to take some of the love u have or used to show to ur patner. To me if u love ur kids so much that mean u love ur spouse.
2ndly-Some people tend to pretend just to get whom they want in marriage but one thing is certain a bad chracter or habit never hides forever,when this bad side of u come to play ur patner see another person in u,a stranger he/she have never met.there is bound to be change or have a counter reaction to this new person he/she got married to.U feel decieved and betray,trust is lost and unnecessary marriage problems comes into play.

Conclusively love grows stronger when u share it with u kids,accomadate each others work,stress,pressure and extended family responsibility.This brings out a bonding love that is better than what u actually started with.
On the other side it could be the devastating when u were never real and truthful from the on set.Then love is seen as soured and brutal.There can never be a connection cos all the wires that keeps the current flowing and sparks on have been damaged.

This should show how love can be a two edged sword

Answer 3

Yes, it should be the same, but love grows and matures. You may have experienced a "honeymoon phase" when you first married. Going at it like rabbits, everything around your home in harmony.
Then reality sets in, and the test of your character begins. Before marriage you did what you wanted to, when you wanted to do it w/o any consideration for another persons needs/feelings. As time goes on, circumstances change whether brought on by financial problems/differences, children, how you relate to/with your in laws and how she does. Most of us don't marry someone just like ourselves, in fact statistics prove, for example, that one of you may be a spender and one a saver. Those differences don't seem so glaring when you live separately, but faced with them daily changes the way you feel and react to your spouse. There was an email going around awhile ago about some billboards from God...one was about marriage and this is what it said: Nice wedding, now will you invite me to the marriage?
Marriage isn't easy, nor is commitment. The rewards though, are incredible.

Answer 4

Love never changes, only a person can change. Marriage gives people more responsibilities, not only to take care of yourself, but also your spouse and in future, your children.

People changes behaviour probably to them you are always there by their side after marriage. The wooing, romance, sweet talks to them may not be neccessary anymore. Both of you marry is that you have all accepted one another and are willing to be with one another as the years go by. The love will be left unspoken, always there for you, unless you meant to break it.

Now, the important thing is how you manage this marriage with this love, not bargaining for more.

'Love' that is always said from mouth may fake. But words from your heart is always true. Be true.

Answer 5

It is the same love. But it is bigger. You are now partners in life. And I think with that the expectations go up.You become more comfortable, since your around each other more. And you have goals together. How your life turns out is dependant on how the two of you choose for it to.

Answer 6

It should but now all of the true feeling have come into play and now you can see who you really married.This is why i say it take more than love to be happy in a marriage,it take compromise as well.

Answer 7

It does have the same love, but when you live that closely to another human they are just bound to get on your ever last nerve. Isn't marriage grand?

Answer 8

It changes but in a deeper good way.After many years together there is a friendship and intimacy that you achieve .You know that person loves you so very much,its almost like you become one person.

Answer 9

It should be the same Love. They think that once they have them now they don't have to try so hard to keep them.