I am seriously confused, need a woman's thought.?

Question

Married for 13 years. We had plenty of problems in the past, sex 1 a month if I was lucky. For the past 4 or 5 months we were having great sex and getting along much better, better than ever actually. We ordered some toys and tried new things. Now for the past month or so sex has died down, maybe a quickie once a week. Our toy has come in the mail 3 weeks ago; I don’t think she even looked at it never mind wanting to use it. Is it possible for women to thru phases that make them excited for awhile and then not so excited for awhile. I don’t understand. I have tried to talk to her about it and she told me that sometime she gets weird and she doesn’t feel turned on. Is that possible? I know some of you will be throwing in “she is cheating” and that’s ok, hell I answer some questions with comic lines too, but for those of you that can answer with a serious answer it would be appreciated.

And no I am not angry at her and I am not looking for a divorce or side kick.

Answer 1

Us women are tricky little things, has she been on medication and stopped, is she on birthcontrol, is she stressed about work or the kids. Just about anything in the world can change a womans physical desires, with the wind her mood will change just continue to love her,as I am sure she loves you dearlly and might even feel like it is her fault try talking about it you might be suprised.

Answer 2

Most men forget to romance thier wife. It really actually starts outside of the bedroom. Bringing toys and other adult things in the bedroom is good but men tend to forget that womens bodies are like ovens we need to be warmed up for awhile. Coming up behind a women and planting a kiss on her for no reason is a great thing. Rubbing her back and telling her how much you love her without the intentions of having sex with her. Listening to us women and not trying to fix the problem and really listening is a good thing as well. I am not saying you have to do this everyday but every once in awhile is good. Think of when you two first met and how you treated her most likely you were very romantic. You probably tried everything to make her feel special. Try doing that more often I bet she will come around (no pun intended lol)

Answer 3

Honey, it's perfectly normal. You gotta remember that her body was use to sex once a month. You probably wore her out or somehow gave her the notion that it's all gotta be kinky sex from here on out. Try romancing her. When she's least expecting it, start kissing her neck, (or whatever you do that turns her on). Love her. There is a huge difference between sex and love and if the love is missing, it can be a turn off for us women. I've been married almost 18 years. The hubby and I still have a ver healthy sex life. It's like a drug for us. The more we do it, the more we want it. BUT every once in awhile, I'll begin to feel like something is missing and I lose the desire. That's when he brings back the passion and the "loving" me aspect of it, and things go right back to normal.

Answer 4

It's possible. My husband and I have been married for 6 years and we have months where we are at it non stop and sometimes only a few times a month. As long as the two of you are still in love and not cheating on each other then I think you will be fine. Sex is not what a marriage is all about. Yes, it is involved but sometimes people need more.Maybe you should just hold her sometimes and tell her how much you love her. Hope this helps.

Answer 5

No, I dont think shes cheating and yes sometimes sex can get a little repetitive for a girl. Shes probably not having any orgasms and it can get boring and she will feel like shes not in the mood. The sex toys made it more enjoyable and now that got boring. I think you need to have a talk with her about this. Find out what she likes and what you can do to pleasure her. Next time she says, im not in the mood, ask her...what can i do to get you in the mood because im ready to go baby! try to make it more fun for her, i know it sounds like a lot of work, but really what woman isnt?

Answer 6

As a married woman whose been thru the same thing, i totally understand and will do my best to help u understand!

Yes we go thru phases that for whatever reason, sometimes unknown to us, we're just not 'in the mood' and need u to understand that. I'm fully aware of how frustrating this is for you.

The best thing you can do for her is to love her thru it and do small romantic things for her; lite massage, cook a meal and eat by candle lite, take a drive to just talk, read the paper together, rent her favorite movie with her favorite snacks. Walk up to her and just hug her and hold her for a minute, while u are use just your fingertips to litely rub her on the small of the back as this is where we carry most of our stress. Little stuff like that goes so much further than the big stuff.

We are strange creatures and sometimes don't understand ourselves and in these situations end up hurting those we love the most w/o meaning to.

She's very lucky to have you, patience, my friend, is all it takes.

Answer 7

You didn't say how old she is....is there any way she is going through menopause yet?!? That will cause all sorts of strange things to go on with her. And yes, even if that isn't the case, women do go in phases sometimes. I have been married 10 years to my husband and sometimes I'll want it all the time, everyday, as much as I can get....then low and behold the following week I don't even want him touching me. It's called hormones! Sometimes ours get pretty out of whack and women are emotional creatures..If things aren't going well for us in other areas of our life, our need or want for sex dips very, very low. Sounds like you're pretty understanding of it all, which is excellent. Just try and talk to her about it...be open and honest, that's always best. Good luck gettin back into action ;)

Answer 8

Hormones fluctuate as does desire. There is one week a month I can't get enough and the rest of the time my sexual drive is very low. This varies of course, with work schedules, my partner's needs, family demands and the like. Your wife may be tired, a common problem in marriages where there are children and two working parents. You don't mention if you have children or not but parenting is a full time job. House work is a full time job and employment is a full time job. If these factors are present then she may just be tired. Hard to be in the mood when you are tired. Peace and Good Luck.

Answer 9

It may be a simple matter of different sexual appetites.
Some people just don't have a very strong sex drive. If the desire isn't there, it just isn't there. It is no reflection on you, she just doesn't want it as much as you. She may have been willing to try the toys to please you, but after the novelty wore off, she went back to normal.
You might consider a sex therapist. I have no idea how they operate or what is involved.If she is willing, why not try one if you can afford it? It also may be as simple as a hormonal imbalance. Try the physical ailment possibilities first, and if everything checks out there as okay, then try the therapist track.
Good luck and best wishes

Answer 10

I know that it is not you. Maybe do something special just because. As a woman, the first thing that I thought of was, not enough foreplay. Women also love little romantic weekends away. I am not talking the Holiday Inn. Some place like a quaint Bed and Breakfast in the country. Oh God, do I sound over the top? It is just my own wishful thinking.

Answer 11

The answer to your question is "yes", woman do get kinda weird and go through stages when it comes to having sex. Its prolly not you, it could be something that is going on in her routine life that may be stressing her out or bothering her on a constant occasion. Im thinking she is prolly tied up when it comes to feelings and all that stuff, which would connect her not being in the mood or getting turned on. Maybe a nice massage before you would like to have sex would loosen her up. Maybe ask her how her day is on a constant basis so she knows that she can express whats going on and whats wrong without to deal with the fact that most men dont like listening to their wife's problems. Try a bubble bath too......she will go for that one! Good luck.