Me and my husband have been married for a little over three months. I want to be with him, but not the way he is now. He changed after we married. I didn't want to marry him when I did, but he wanted to, and I knew that eventually I would marry him. He said don't punish me for you and your x-husbands marriage, we are different and I dont want to be 30 years old, living with the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with and not be married to her. Now my life is just one big soap opera. I can't deal with the way he treats me anymore. I told him before we got married that I was scared to get married again because I didn't want to be 30 years old and have two divorces under my belt, and he told me that we had the kind of love that lasts forever. And now look at what is happening - my worst fears!! I hate myself for still loving him so much!!! But yet I refuse to live a miserable life. I can be miserable on my own w/o someone making me miserable! HELP PLEASE!
2006-09-08 03:44:39 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It all depends on what state you live in..
If you can give it some time things will change! He may just be testing you to see what he can get away with and what he can't.
Don't allow him to make you miserable if you are miserable then it is your fault for letting him push your bottons and lowering yourself to those feelings also you need to stand up for yourself don't take it, walk out, go do your own thing, cool down and then try again, do not give a way your energy to miserable feelings and emotions, you are in control of them so what you do and how you react says it all. When he starts his shi* just tell him you're not in this marriage for him to treat you this way and you are wasting time if he can't get back to the way he used to be you'll have to be movin' on. Don't allow him to start arguments just say "fine, I'm not arguming with you" and keep doing it and he will eventually stop, he'll have to b/c there won't be anyone to keep the fight going. Agreee with him even when you disagree if you have to and can...
I felt the same way when my husband and I first got married but I am happy I stay'd and worked things out I couldn't be happier now 7 years later. He'll chill down after a bit and be the person you know him as, just give him a little time.
You don't need to feel bad if you do divorce him who cares if it's once, twice or 5 times it just means you don't take a lot of shi* and have the guts to change things when you are not happy! Sounds like you really love this guy though and three months is really too soon to say - I say this only b/c I've been there, it will change, that you can not change is change! It is temporary trust me! It is a strange time for both of you and he may not know really how to handle his own emotions and feelings and it is all coming out as to what you are seeing that you don't like! Good luck & best wishes!
2006-09-08 04:19:34 · answer #1 · answered by sophia_of_light 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's doubtful you will be able to get an annulment.
Here are the criteria for North Carolina but it's pretty consistent everywhere.
http://www.ncsu.edu/stud_affairs/legal_services/legaldocs/MarriageAnnul.htm
Your best bet is a quick no-fault divorce. Get out fast and start working on yourself. What you really need is a therapist who will help you to understand why you make such poor choices. If you love yourself with the "kind of love that lasts forever" you'll make better choices when you finally get married forever.
2006-09-08 04:04:10 · answer #2 · answered by Canadian_mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
File for divorce if your miserable. ALso understand marriage didnt do you wrong...the person you married did you wrong. SO what if you have 2 marriage / divorces at 30, why be miserable just to not be a statistic? Hell at 30, your whole life is still ahead of you so do what you have to do to enjoy it.
2006-09-08 03:52:52 · answer #3 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anulments are there for your sort of problem rather than a divorce. If you can prove that he was different before you married and there was some reason then not to marry, such as your doubts that is ususally reason enough for the courts, or religion purposes. He is not the man you thought he was.
2006-09-08 03:49:00 · answer #4 · answered by lickup28 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a very fine line when it comes to anulment and divorces, If you consamteaed your marriage then you can't get anulment you would have to file for a divorce. But check with your local county, city or village office to find out this information
2006-09-08 03:59:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
An annulment all depends on what grounds you are filing for. Typically they are harder to get then a divorce. You have to prove (in most states) that you are asking for an annulment due to misrepresentation, force, or incest. Going through a bad divorce myself I've found a few websites that can help... www.DivorceHQ.com is the best one!
Best Wishes!!!
2006-09-08 03:51:47 · answer #6 · answered by Faith 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
even if you get an anulment you still have to get a divorce
2006-09-08 03:47:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
YES YOU SHOULD YOU DON'T HAVE ALOT OF TIME TO
GET 1
YOU DON'T HAVE TO GET DIVORCED YOU HAVEN'T BEEN MARRIED LONG ENOUGH
2006-09-08 03:47:49 · answer #8 · answered by Raineybaby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
SWEETPEE IS THAT YOU
2006-09-08 03:48:22 · answer #9 · answered by DECATSDEAD 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋