FORGIVE AND FORGET. Or the other way round?

Question

Was discussing with my friend last night about 'forgiving but not forgetting'. But do you think it's possible to forget something (say, if someone had cheated on you), ie push it to one side, but never truly forgive it?

Answer 1

If you are going to tell someone that you forgave them - then its not fair to hold it over their heads or yours. In the end, it just eats at you and it doesn't work out. If its a relationship that you are in, and it continued after the person cheated - then you should seek counseling as a couple to deal with the situation and move forward

Hugs from a Loving Mom to a Brilliant, as well as beautiful 8 year old Jared and Our Angel, Zachary (taken to soon but who will always remain in our heart) ~ Mel

Answer 2

You cannot do either if that person has really hurt you and forgotten how important your friendship/relationship was. You may be able to forgive in the future but while they are still a big part of your life they are still the reminder why u feel the way you do.

If someone betrays your trust it is hard to rebuild what you once had. It will always be there in the back of your mind.

I think it's always better not to forgive but to try and put it behind u and forget it as times goes on

Answer 3

I think it all depends on the person who's doing the forgiving and forgetting, whether it is in their nature to forgive or not. If it was bad, like someone cheating on you, I think you would never, deep in your subconscious ever truly forgive or forget. From my own experience - my ex husband physically, mentally and emotionally abused me and I have forgiven him because otherwise it would have hurt me more deep down, but I have never forgotten what he did to me. If I see something like that on television it always throws up the memories. So, on that basis, no, generally, I don't think it is possible to forget unconsciously, but consciously then possibly. Hope this makes sense!!!

Answer 4

It really depends on the person. For me, if your talking about cheating, I could never forgive or forget my partner and the relationship would be over. If someone has deliberately hurt one of my friends or family I could never forgive or forget either. But I know people can forgive, even people who have had their children murdered, that just amazes me!

It really depends on the person and how much of a forgiving person you are.

Answer 5

We are human beings with memory so we can’t easily forget things that touch us in a particular way and that the paradox of man. But the reality we must follow is forgive and forget and when we do remember we should have no ill feelings, because if we do we have not forgiven and if we have not forgiven. We are the ones in pain not the other fellow. So drop the burden and move on.

Answer 6

Yes, definitely. You can forgive someone for something and not forget it. BUT you can also forget (eventually) something that someone did but never really forgive them. The best thing to do is really both. Forgive them and forget it. It'll make you happier in the end. Otherwise we would all be really bitter people.

Answer 7

I'd forgive someone for cheating on me, but I couldn't ever forget it. There's no way I would be able to continue a relationship after that. I'd never be able to get that out of my head. You can't forget something like that & you can't forgive until you've gotten past it.

Answer 8

I think its the other way around, its possible to forgive it, but never forget it.

Answer 9

I think it is impossible to forget if someone/something hurts you enough that they would have to be "forgiven". I think that moving on is the equivalent to forgiving/forgetting. Dwelling on the past will only bring you down and influence future relationships and experiences.

Answer 10

If you don't truly forgive, you can never forget. If this is something that really bothers u and you don't get over it and move on, it will sour the relationship.