OKay i am going to explain as much as i can for you people. Alright, i'll just point out that i wasn't the best person in a relationship okay, but i am being true so i COULD GET TRUE ANSWERS. Okay, i dunno if my boyfriend and i are going to succeed as a couple, and it hurts because i love him so much. OKay when we first started to date, i lied about my age..Saying i was 22, and he was 29. I thought at the time it wasn't going to last. I thought it was going to for like a week or so. But then that turned in to 6 months...then after i spent so much time with him(protected sex, too) he then finally told that he had HVP(herpes). i was shocked in the beginning, but accepted it, and got tested. then i after about a month later he found out the true age and freaked (I am 21) Then we were okay...all of sudden there is this space, and no sex. I dunno, if he is stressing that he will be 30 next month..We've been together for 9 months... i am just stressing that there...
2006-09-08 02:44:29 · 8 answers · asked by Punk_Rockin' Chick 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
is nothing to give. I am willing to go against all odds, to make this work. I am just wondering if anyone would know what to say. what to do, what's he thinking. I basically try to talk to him but he just says that there is nothing bothering him. Am i wasting my time?
2006-09-08 02:46:21 · update #1
is nothing to give. I am willing to go against all odds, to make this work. I am just wondering if anyone would know what to say. what to do, what's he thinking. I basically try to talk to him but he just says that there is nothing bothering him. Am i wasting my time?
2006-09-08 02:46:27 · update #2
Ok, for starters, if he loves you and you love him, truly, there is a lot left to do.
Tell him how you feel honestly. Tell him straight out that your relationship is hanging by a thread and that if he doesn't step up and talk, then it can't work out. This shouldn't sound like a threat, cause I've seen many people take it this way. It's more of a persuading thing, than a threat. Tell him that since a lot ofthings happened and NEITHER of you were honest from the start, you'll have to start off fresh and be honest NOW. He lied about his ailment and you lied about your age. BIG DEAL. You both were dishonest with each other, neither one is more guilty than the other. If you both love each other, nothing else should matter.
If he is stressing about the fact that he's going to turn 30, tell him it's going to be worse if he loses you. Then, he'll be 30 and alone. It's really hard to find someone to really love these days, even harder to find a person to love you back (and for free).
Trust me, if he loves you and you love him, something's gotta give. Talk to him. He'll come around. I hope it all goes well.
If it's something good, DON'T let it pass you by. Not for pride, not for your ego.
GODSPEED.
2006-09-08 03:10:05 · answer #1 · answered by Dulie Woolie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that being 22 or 21 is not much different - it was only a white lie, but he didn't tell you he had herpes until 6 months into the relationship - now that is a BIG lie. It can be life threatening. He has no right to be mad about you lying about your age, when he didn't fess up about the herpes from the start.
I think you both need to start fresh. Get everything out into the open and have no lies. Most of all, take care of your health. Herpes is really common, I've got friends in relationships who live with it - just need to have protected sex, but you have to think about the future too. You're only young, if you know you want to have a family as part of your personal life plan (or even if you think you might but aren't yet sure) you can't change your plans. You either need to consider the future & be prepared to look into your options or get out of this relationship NOW before you are TOTALLY in love. 6 months into a relationship is still "lust" period, true love doesn't come until about 2 years. Use your head at the moment, not your heart. Trust me, your heart can lead you astray and you can end up in places that you didn't ever plan to be.
Take a week or two break and get away with some friends or family for a vacation and think about your future.
Your partner may be at this stage now which is why the sex thing may have lapsed. He may care for you so much and be thinking of your future - like you said, you are 21 and he is 30. I don't know much about herpes, not sure if it is passed onto babies. If not, you could do IVF and live happily ever after.
No matter what, you need to be open with each other and start the communication flowing. Sometimes with a sensitive subject, it helps to have a drink or two to open up, and then it will be much easier. You don't realise but when you have been with someone long term, you wouldn't even need to ask this question on "yahoo answers" you would be able to approach your partner openly without fear or questioning how they are going to react. Maybe he isn't the right one for you? You're only young, keep an open mind about your options. I hope it works out for you, whether you stay with this partner, or you both end up with someone else in the future. Good luck.
2006-09-08 10:03:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you lie about 1 year? More importantly why wouldn't he advise you about HPV before a sexual relationship started? So many white lies make me wonder what undercurrents are driving this behavior. If you are having problems like this 9 months in I don't see how it can sustain momentum for a lifetime.
2006-09-08 09:52:49 · answer #3 · answered by KIMBO 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The part that I can't believe is that he had sex with you and THEN told you that he had herpes. Lying about your age was one thing, but him keeping that information from you was really immature of him.
Sounds like you both started the relationship out on the wrong foot.
2006-09-08 09:47:57 · answer #4 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HPV is not the same as herpes, for starters. You felt the need to lie about your age to make yourself seem more mature, but somehow I doubt he was really and truly fooled. Please grow up a little. Or a lot. And until then, either stop having sex or find someone on your maturity level.
2006-09-08 09:49:55 · answer #5 · answered by francesfarmer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im sure youve explained your reason for lying, but its 1 lousy year. He shouldnt make such a big deal of it. But maybe he feels betrayed. Like, if you lied about that, what else have you lied about?
2006-09-08 09:47:51 · answer #6 · answered by JC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like there is not a lot of honesty there. he might be trying to figure out if other things are lies also. why would you lie about your age? just kinda confuses me, but what do i know, im just another guy
2006-09-08 09:52:42 · answer #7 · answered by lheitjan_01 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the answer should be pretty clear to you. If are planning to have kids, do u want to risk catching the disease?
2006-09-08 09:49:15 · answer #8 · answered by Shady McCool 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋