How do you get your significant others parents to truly like you ?

Question

It is so hard, I do go out of my way to get to knwo my bf's parents, I love his mom and his dad is a nice guy. The thing is his dad is a bit rough around the edges. He is practical and questions everything from us wanting to move to arizona and now us purchasing a house together. I feel bad for my boyfriend because his parents have not given any advice or seemed at all hap;py for us. while my folks are looking at places with us and helping us with any advice they can give. We plan on getting married in the soon to be future. Why is it so hard to be liked. I am a sweet girl and would do anything fro anyone I care about. Sighhhhhh

Answer 1

Sometimes no matter what you do ... it may not be enough in their eyes. Just continue to be the person you are, loving and kind. In time, they will see the person you are, how much you mean to their son. In the end, the person's opinion of you who only really matters - is the one that you are in the relationship with.

Hugs from a Loving Mom to a Brilliant, as well as beautiful 8 year old Jared and Our Angel, Zachary (taken to soon but who will always remain in our heart) ~ Mel

Answer 2

Don't feel bad. Many in laws will take 10 years or more to get used to the fact that their boy is married and that you're going to have your own family with your own location, your own life. For many in laws, a daughter in a law especially makes them feel threatened. It's not your fault. It's just the way it is. There is really nothing you can do. It's like some parents love their kids so much that they don't want to let go - so the daughter in law becomes the enemy - breaking their traditions and their expectations for what their son would be and do for the rest of his life. Some parents think that their kids will be with them to be their friend and do everything with forever - take care of their emotional needs and such - and that's just not reality. Especially if they think you're making him move - which isn't true - but that will be their perception since if you weren't around maybe things in their relationship would not change. Many times, they will do and say things in ways that will make you feel guilty. Don't. Eventually, they will come around to a degree and start feeling comfortable with the situation but it does take time. If you're making decisions that they are not happy about they may not give you advice because they don't want to cause an agrument and tell you what to do because they know you won't listen to what they want and that may make them a bit angry. Just remember, they have alot of emotional issues to deal with and it will take time. When you become a mother in law, just remember what you went through and what you would have appreciated.

Answer 3

I don't think it's a matter about them not liking you. I think his parents just disagrees with the choices you two have made. Though it would be nice to have his parents approval, it is still up to you both to make your own decisions. Obviously since they disagree with you two's choices, there is little you can do. The only thing they can do is give him advice and let him experience life on his own. If it was or is a mistake for you two to move or get married, then your b/f has to learn from that mistake on his own. So this is really not about you, its about the decisions you two are making and if this is something you two really want to do then there is nothing either one of them can do except wish you both well.

Answer 4

Sorry to disappoint you - a person can be as sweet as honey- but in most cases they'll never be good enough for a parents' BABY. It's sad that a lot of parents (and even grandparents) view their child as perfect and way out of everyone's league. If I were you, I would just respect your boyfriend's parents and only focus on making each other happy. Remember, even if you feel like no one likes you, Jesus loves you. May God bless your marriage & God bless you!!!

Answer 5

Most people like that are really good people, and most reactions like that come from other people. Don't be offended that you are being questioned about things(this is their boy). Some people don't know how to show affection. And, if you don't want his parents being a controlling benefactor in your relationship later,then don't give them precedence in it. One thing about people who are always questioning is they are looking for something wrong. Stay consistent with your values and eventually they will respect you as long are there are no hidden values. One of the hardest things to learn about parents is that they are only human. Try to picture your baby boy growing up and the questions you would ask his girlfriend. Faith lies in the beholder and fortunately we don't have to receive it from our parents to believe it. Good luck!!!

Answer 6

All you can do is be yourself! Don't ever change who you are to please someone else! I used to be a people pleaser and wanted people to like me so much! I did anything I could to make other people happy, but in the end I was the one who was unhappy. Then I began to love myself and accept myself for who I am. Then others people approval didn't matter so much. I think that you know that you are a loveable, sweet and caring person and if they can't see that then that is their loss not yours!Your boyfriend obviously cares about you and it's about you and him, not you and him and his parents!! You'll be allright, just accept yourself and don't worry so much about what others think!

Answer 7

i have been married to my husband for 6 years now, and no matter what i do -nothing makes his parents happy. My husband is an ironworker, and i am a stay at home mom of 2. My husband makes enough money for us to get by on. I would say we are lower middle class. well, my husbands work car keeps breaking down, and i need my car because my son just started pre-school, and i have to drive him. My husband and I know that we would be in a really tight fit if we went and got a loan for a new or new used car. So i found a used 2001 chevy s-10 in the local paper for $1,800. we used our saving to buy it, and we don't have to worry about going farther in debt. My father in-law is mad because we didn't buy a 2006. I tried to explain to him that we couldn't afford the loan payment on anything because I am still paying on my car, but that didn't seem to matter to him. Every thanksgiving and christmas I cook dinner for my husbands family. Well, last year my mom decided she wasn't going to cook that year...so miracles of miracles i actually conviced my mom to come to my house to eat. My mother-in-law got mad that my mom ate thanksgiving dinner with us. she said it made her feel uncomfortable. Uncomfortable? it was just my mom! ONE person from my side of the family! MY husbands ENTIRE family was here!! (13 people ) And I supplied, and cooked everything, and not once did any of them offer to help with dishes!(no I don't have a dish washer) the only person to offer was my mom. And then when my mom left my mother-in-law told me i ruined her thanksgiving by inviting my mom to my house to eat food i paid for, and i cooked.

I guess what I am trying to tell you, is that no matter what you do...sometimes it will never be enough for some people. Do what makes you and your boyfriend/future husband happy. If his parents can't be happy/excited for you 2 then its their lose.

Answer 8

Don't try too hard. Parents see right through that and wonder what you are up to. If you are a nice girl and you care about their son--they will like you just fine-when they get to know you.

Answer 9

Can't make people like you. If they don't and you are nice to them, it's their loss. I still can't stand my father in law and I have been with my husband over 8 years and married for 4 years. Sometimes it's not meant to get along with people.

Answer 10

It doesn't sound like they don't like you it just sounds like they're not as warm and fuzzy as your parents. It could be that it's just the way they are and that's something you're not going to be able to change. Just keep the lines of communication open with them. Always be respectful and courteous. Don't go overboard - just remember to be yourself.