For ladies that have been "the other woman?"?

Question

Let's say that you are having sex with a man that is married, whether you know he is or not. Somehow the wife finds out about the affair and she finds your phone number. When she calls and asks you if you are having sex with her husband, do you tell the truth or lie? Why? Also, does it make a difference if you didn't know he was married? I don't understand why you would lie about it, the wife doesn't know you.

This did not happen to me, it is just a question I thought of.

Answer 1

I think you need to ask this question to the married women.

I'm married and I can answer you honestly. If I phoned you, it would be to confirm that my husband was cheating. There is nothing worse than people around you knowing that your partner is cheating and you have a suspicion, but noone will confirm it. Then one day, when you have obvious evidence, you feel like an idiot in front of all your friends and you feel like you've wasted so much time. (I've been there with my first long term partner) The sad thing is that all the friends that you trusted, you don't really trust them anymore, and they all thought they were doing the right thing at the time.

If I phoned you, it wouldn't be personal - I wouldn't care about your opinion or who you are - I just want to know the truth. Please tell me the truth. I wouldn't hate you, he's the one cheating, not you, you don't even know that I exist! Your intentions have always been good. Even if you did know I exist, I feel sorry for you - he's still coming home to me every night after he's been with you. Why hasn't he left me yet if you are so special?

If he cheats with you, he'll cheat with someone else in the future, as far as I'm concerned, he's cheating on me and my children, you are just a number. If he's lied to you - he's a REAL arshole don't you think? He's lying to both of us. Why would you continue any kind of a relationship with a person like this - you are wasting time that you could be out finding your soulmate who loves you and won't lie to you. True love is hard to find but you need to be open to it, not wasting your time with a liar. If I was the wife being cheated on, I think I deserve to know if my husband is cheating, then I also can go and find my soulmate, because he obviously isn't the right one!

You might think you're special (he'll probably tell you this) but most men are the same. If he has married me he must have loved me totally at one time to make that committment. (because men aren't generally good at committing!) To cheat with you, he has broken that committement. If he tells you he loves you and he doesn't love me anymore don't you think that he is capable of breaking a committment to you in the future?

I think you're right. Don't lie to the wife. No need. She's got no grudge against you. Be honest with her - tell her that you didn't know he was married and you'll stop the relationship immediately. Do it for yourself! - not just her! Go and find yourself a real man!!!!

Get rid of him now - you deserve so much better!

Answer 2

You don't owe her an answer and furthermore, what difference would it make many find out about their husbands affairs and blame the other woman who might not even know he is married.

Also, if your not going to do anything about it but argue and still stay with the cheater, why get in a dispute with the other woman.

The other woman don't owe the wife anything the husband took the vows and suppose to honor and respect his marriage.

So, if the wife would find out about the affair and ask whether you are having sex with their husband, I would say ask your husband he owes you an answer I don't.

Now if you want to do things to cause more problems in the marriage then you would tell the wife the truth and hope you win in the end.

Answer 3

Tell her the truth.
She deserves to know. Doesn't matter if you knew or not.
In the end you were BOTH betrayed by the same man.

Also remember if he did it to his wife, he's probably doing it to you. who's to say there aren't many others.


And no I have never been the other woman, but this is what I would do if I were.

Men who cheat are pathetic. Makes you look even more pathetic if you lie and cover for a pathetic person.
Women who don't care because they're not the ones that are married to the man are desperate and have no self respect. They may not 'owe' it to the wife but they should owe it to themselves.
Like I said, it's probably being done to them as well. and with how many others? Talk about being BLIND.
Anyone who wants a man like that is a loser and will never win.

Answer 4

After,my husband died, a close friend of his came to me with his declaration that he has loved me for 25 years!!! Being vulnerable and lacking common sense at the time, I fell into the relationship with him. His wife found out and called me several times. Since I thought he was sincere, I admitted it. He, of course, said he wanted to be with only me and moved to an apartment for ONE week. To end a long story, he's stilll with his wife, she is hostile toward me, justifiably so, and I've had my reputation marred. There's no future in having any kind of relationship with a married man. He doesn't get blamed, you do! I don't know what the statistics are, but I bet most men stay with their wives and leave you high and dry with a ruined reputation. If you are doing it, QUIT. If your not doing it, DON'T.

Answer 5

I just got finished being the other woman because my "honey" got married and wouldn't you know he's still calling trying to spend time with me? I have talked to his wife but that was before they got married and let her know in no uncertain terms that her man kept pursuing the relationship and as long as he did, I wouldn't stop him from seeing me. After all, he's the one that's married. I'm not. He should have the good sense to stick with his wife. Instead he chose to keep seeing me. It makes me no difference. It's on her if she stays and puts up with it. Not me.

Answer 6

Oh my gosh! I was the wife who was cheated on. "Smartypants" has said how I felt so perfectly. It's as if she knew my exact situation and got inside my thoughts and feelings. And my ex married the last one he cheated on ME with. What she doesn't realize is that he has cheated on her. Why does she think he goes on all those "fishing trips with the guys"? I hope when she finds out she feels the way I did. I lost all those "friends" who said they knew all about it but were not friends enough to tell me. So listen to "Smartypants". She knows what she's talking about.

Answer 7

I think the best thing to say is....I think you already know the answer to that question and tell her to talk to her husband. The ask her to not call you anymore and hang up the phone.

Answer 8

tell the truth...chances are she has already confronted her husband and knows everything anyway. Even if she hasn't why would you lie. He's her husband and chances are you aren't the first woman she has had to call.

Answer 9

this happened to someone extremely close to me...
not the phonecall because the wife at that time hadnt the guts she'd mouth off about her and threaten but never held up to her promises...
the person just went away and didn't talk to either of them at all for a few months... she even took a job in another town (didnt move) you've just got to keep your distance, unfortunately i know it hurts... but it's one of them things.
i don't think you should lie hunni...
good luck x x

Answer 10

i did! and i knew that he's married and before the wife noticed that i'm having an affair with his husband i quit!