I asked earlier if I should stay with my depressed husband who wants to quit his job every 4-6 months. Most of you said I should work it out with him, and seek a therapist. To update you, he has been to a therapist with another apointment in a week. He didn't quit, and is calling what happend "a bad day". We are going to continue therapy. Now my question is this. We were planning to renew our vows in November on our tenth wedding anniversary, with the wedding we never had. I have deposits down, and a dress bought. I have everything planned, just have to buy the stuff. He wants to have the wedding, but I believe the stress of it all was partialy to blame. Should I proceed with the plans?
2006-09-08 02:05:54 · 12 answers · asked by cyunos 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think you should, in some ways this can benefit him, help him to realize just how much you really love him as you stood by him thru the 'bad day'.
You should call the people to whom u paid the deposit and see if its refundable, if it is then get it back, if its not then go for it.
Ultimately, the choice is yours, follow your heart my dear, will always lead u in the right direction.
2006-09-08 02:10:29 · answer #1 · answered by koleebear 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to tell you this.
But I would say NO
Maybe u can wait 10 yrs more or maybe 5 if u really want to renew ur vowls that bad, I mean I dont want to sound rude I understand that if u didnt have a wedding you really want to have a good nice wedding now especially since yall have already been together for 10 yrs
but hey dont u rather have a healthy husband?
2006-09-08 09:23:43 · answer #2 · answered by JAZY 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You prove your own uncertainties by asking such questions on the web. Do you really need strangers to help you sort out your insecurities? Isn't it time to be honest with yourself...do you love your husband? Do you both feel that you need to renew your vows? Don't mean to be harsh, but go with your gut feeling. Deep down, you know what to do. Don't do anything for the sake of keeping other people happy and don't worry about what other people think. You and your husband have to live with each other and with the decisions that you make, hopefully together. Help your partner to get out of his depression but don't let him bear you down for ever. You will just become more negative and unsure. At the end of the day, you have to live with yourself too. You must be happy. Sometimes drastic times calls for drastic measures, like taking a break from him and letting him sort himself out.
2006-09-08 09:24:05 · answer #3 · answered by Gerry1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow your question is something to think about, you are an strong woman to stay with him in the first sense, I don't think I could, but if he is still stressing about this wedding I would not do it, if he is stressing about it why? Is he on any medications? if so then they are not helping and may need to get something else instead. But if this is going to make him more depressed I would not you wont have an good time and he sure will not! what kind of depression does he have? here is an good site for treatment
http://www.cymbalta.com/depression/understand/causes.jsp?reqNavId=1.3&ccd=mdddtcbrd249 I have seen this on TV oh btw Good Luck & Congradulation
2006-09-08 09:18:17 · answer #4 · answered by netgirl1961 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should go ahead with the wedding, but maybe try to do the rest of the planning yourself. Or with minimal help from him. So he can get rested up to be able to enjoy the day instead of feeling that it is a burden on him.
2006-09-08 09:10:46 · answer #5 · answered by lilcountrygirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, go ahead with the plans, but don;t overwhelm him with decisions and color pattenrns and flower girl issues, it may be too much for a depressive person. Please understand that when someone suffers from depression, too much responsabilities can trigger a panic, anxiety or depressive episode. be considerate.
Congrats and good luck
2006-09-08 09:15:14 · answer #6 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
heck yes, get him undepressed, get a thong on and do a fertility dance, invite his friends and father over to watch. they all will be so proud of what you can accomplish. they will all know then, you are a self-motivated, strong willed individual. they all will respect you so much, they may even come over to your house to visit and to do things for you after you get married and your husbands at work!! good luck and hope this has really helped some.
2006-09-08 09:11:15 · answer #7 · answered by sling_blade1974 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him about it. Depression can really ruin a life. If he does want to go through with it you may have to do most of it yourself. It's normal to go through periods of depression so you may just have to pick up the slack for awhile.
2006-09-08 09:09:00 · answer #8 · answered by Justsyd 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has to learn to cope with his depression. I don't think you should change your wedding plans. Go on with the wedding and be there for him and try to help him with his depression.
2006-09-08 09:19:46 · answer #9 · answered by Jewells 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you love him go for it....and you need to sit down with him and tell him that you love him and care for him...and that your wedding is comeing and does he want to do it or wait untill he feels better? and ask if there is any thing that you can do to help him?
2006-09-08 09:13:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋