psychological reason for this?
2006-09-08 02:00:39 · 20 answers · asked by Say It Like You Mean It 4 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
It sounds like you are just protective of yourself maybe b/c something happend to you that made you more cautious or just b/c you've always been careful about who you let get close to you. Either way, I see nothing wrong with being careful with other people. Some people are just plain vicious! Keep trusting yourself & you'll be alright.
2006-09-09 01:13:42 · answer #1 · answered by paigenstuff 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For the most part humans have a fear of being judged and being hurt by others. The simple part this affliction is to take each day and do one thing that you would not normally do. This exercises will help to further develop your own protection mechanism and allow you to have better control over it.You see the fact that you are unsure as to why you have this guard could stem form childhood experiences or from societal factors. The safest way to help your self is by doing small steps for instance if you have a tough time letting your guard down with new people then with a friend whom you trust completely meet one new person (be it the guy who sells you a coffee in the morning or a person you see at the bank) and have a conversation that you would not normally invest that much time in considering. Within a few weeks you should find that the lack of control you were describing should be easier for you to control thus being able to experience more then before. Please be advised though that this task may seem silly or to some impossible but take it one step at a time and you will see results. Hang in there and Good Luck!
2006-09-08 10:22:21 · answer #2 · answered by psychologist is in 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry, I know nothing about psychology or psychiatry...
You are scared of being hurt... and you are not alone.
You place too much importance on what others think of you probably because you are yourself very critical of others.
Its all about what relationships you had when you were young (and older) that probably caused you to be defensive.
If you really want to improve and to start opening up, then you have to make the break with the idea that what others think is so important. To do that, why not think about the importance of your own thoughts and criticisms towards others: how very important is that?
People are people are people - we all make errors, we all make poor judgements, we all injure others sometimes.
You have one shot at life - go for it. What do you really care what others think when in 50-100 years we'll all be dead?
Live. Breathe. Think. Be good to people.
Have a happy life!
2006-09-08 09:08:14 · answer #3 · answered by David R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm just the opposite. I believe and is influenced by others' words very easily. This is something that I hate about myself because I always end up getting hurt.
I think it's actually better to be on your guard because you never know when some people might hurt you in one way or another.
Does that make you feel better?
2006-09-08 09:26:22 · answer #4 · answered by gummy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would think that it is negative feedback from past experiences. People feel comfortable with comfortable looking people. If you look nervous or ill at ease they tend to avoid you or act unpleasantly. Next time you remember the last time and feel uncomfortable and off you go again - it can get out of control. If you can find the habit of just blending in to the wallpaper, you will find that most interactions will be positive. You have to accept, and learn to live, with the fact there are always going to be some individuals that are obnoxious and untrustworthy - worrying about it will ruin your life.
2006-09-08 09:13:27 · answer #5 · answered by Silkie1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have exactly the same problem and what makes it worse is that people often misunderstand you, for example, they may think your really quiet and boring when your really not!! It may not have anything to do with previous experiences. Some people naturally like to perceive and watch others and to try and 'suss' others out and become more comfortable around them before becoming the real person they are. Perhaps this is actually a good quality to have.
2006-09-08 09:32:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
probably shy and under confident letting your guard down usually takes trusting in that person and feeling relaxed in there company. not really a bad thing keeping your guard up till you feel more comfortable. but sometimes you can come across to people as being cold. maybe you could open up a little bit more.
2006-09-08 09:09:46 · answer #7 · answered by mescalin57 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is probably some hurt (or many hurts) from the past. Now you don't know how to open up to others, and still protect yourself. There is a very good book that addresses this issue called "Boundires" by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend
2006-09-08 09:15:59 · answer #8 · answered by bk 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suffer the same problems. I've came to the conclusion that i was hurt by my exes and also hurt when my mum died when i was in my early 20's. It has taken me a few years but i've got over it. Hate to sound cheesy but time is a great healer and it will work out in the end.
2006-09-08 09:05:51 · answer #9 · answered by atuniagain 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Question: Letting you guard down ....protecting what within yourself?
A reason: 'Defensive' ......against the possibility of....?
It's no uncommon, not unusual.
2006-09-10 15:04:37 · answer #10 · answered by sashtou 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋