My husband and I only have sex when we go to bed at night. What happened to that spontaneous sex that we used to have? On the couch, the kitchen counter, outside?? Now it's become a routine it seems. and kinda boring what can I do to change this?
2006-09-08 01:45:25 · 41 answers · asked by faith 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Bummer, based on your photo that would not happen with me.
Take charge. Make him perform for his dinner. You could always make dinner topless, stay away from fried food though. The point being that you also need to be responsible for your own spontaneity. After marriage its too easy to give up on the chase and forget that gotta have it feeling. Do it yourself.
2006-09-08 01:50:43 · answer #1 · answered by Flagger 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I can't give specifics here, but sometimes it doesn't have to fall to the man to figure out how to "spice it up." People tend to forget that while the woman has her job, the man has his also. Ideally, it should be up to both to work equally hard for the family and to please each other. However, some how it always seems to fall on the man's shoulders to be the one buying flowers and chocolates and booking the expensive suprise vacations (on his own paycheck of course... who would suggest she ever pay anything?) After the birth of our son, I felt like the only way I could get my wife to touch me was if I took a day off of work, planned a series of elaborate suprises, and got a baby sitter. It had to be all three, any two wasn't good enough. On top of this, I was working a 40 hour work week while she was a stay at home mom with frequent help from both her mother and mine, and I had a two hour commute each way. And even when I did all of that, for a while it was more of the, "Oh I guess you've earned it," attitude rather than the, "Oh I'm so ready" I aimed for. When we talked about it, she said that it always felt too hurried otherwise. Umm... Duh!!! I have 168 hours a week, 45 of which is taken with work (counting my lunches,) 20 of which is taken with driving, and (if I plan to be safe on the road with 7 hours of sleep a night) 49 of which is taken with sleeping. That leaves less than three hours a day average on a week day between my wife and my son. And with a premie, guess who got the most of that? We talked about it, and she agreed that it wasn't fair that I have all the burden of seduction put on me, and she's taken a great deal more responsibility for it since then. It's gotten better for both of us.
2006-09-08 04:31:14 · answer #2 · answered by Sifu Shaun 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be the spontaneous one. When your in the living room or in the kitchen or outside and you get that feeling, that urge, then make your move and if he stops you, if he comes up with an excuse... 'Baby not now' or 'Baby later, not here', then you know that there is a problem and he just opened the door for you to tell him how you feel, like you just did here with us and get to the root of the change into routine rather then the spontaneous love you once shared. Blessed be.....
2006-09-08 01:51:52 · answer #3 · answered by shy&gental 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, first, don't consider it a problem! Consider it a challenge.
Say to yourself, "how can I get my husband to have sex at some other time and place, inside or out." I might even suggest, not having sex at at night in the bedroom and let him know you want to go down to the living room or out in the back yard or just some place different.
Sounds like he's complacent in where and when he is having sex with you. Break him of that habit. Plus, you've been married only a short time..and you don't want to have a boring marriage. You've got plenty of years ahead of you.
2006-09-08 02:05:57 · answer #4 · answered by Jay 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It will probably go downhill even further if you don't put some effort in it yourself... but don't be surprised if his interest is not heightened... Sometimes these things happen and we just become comfortable with our mates... The need for constant sex is reduced... dramatically... and the funny part is as a man ages his drive goes down... as a woman ages her drive goes up... so depending on your age you may be caught in that cycle as well...
You need something stimulating and romantic to get him going... Work on that...
2006-09-08 04:21:14 · answer #5 · answered by deakjone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be a vixen. I took my wife in the closet the other morning.
Married life can get boring, it takes both to spice it up not just him.
Wake him up with a BJ. Go to the store and buy toy. Make him use it on you.
Lots of things you can do to make him interested in sex again.
2006-09-08 05:12:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give the car a wax job and go for a drive. What you are experiencing is just like buying a new car. After you have driven it for a little while it becomes just another car. Wax and a spray can of new car smell spiffs it up and you have fun for a little while longer in it. Keep it polished and take pride in it; keep it special.
2006-09-08 05:04:28 · answer #7 · answered by acmeraven 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have to restart your life again ,do make sure you are taking care of his health by feeding him three regular meals by becoming a good host and a great cook . Force him to go for regular jogging and maditation to increase his stamina . Make it a point to recieve him in a sexy dress after a shower , regularly with a welcome drink and a charming smile . Ensure no complaint and nagging , specially while having food . Ensure entire house is maintain neat and clean , specially bathrooms and no bad odor in the house . Follow for few days& enjoy life for ever . Good luck .
2006-09-08 02:28:07 · answer #8 · answered by your noon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you want to do it during the day, on the couch, the kitchen counter, and outside. Tell him you want some spice.
2006-09-08 03:42:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be glade you are getting it i have been married for barly 5 years and i havent had any in 2 months. its driving me crazy so be happy your getting any at all. Other then that when you are eating at home one night come to the table with nothing on and see what kind of reaction you get
2006-09-08 05:21:29 · answer #10 · answered by weasel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋