i was married for 14 years. now ever girl i date has this hangup....with wanting a relationship.....wanting marriage,
i am up front from the word go about it. i go as far to say....hell no....not on your life.......not in a million years.......etc.
all i get back is.....I want....I want......
what about what i want?
am i missing something here?
2006-09-08 01:05:15 · 28 answers · asked by rock 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Nothing wrong with that at all... and you're doing the right thing, by being up front with the women you encounter.
Eventually, you'll find a woman who has the same outlook and things will work out.
Play on, playa...
2006-09-08 01:08:47 · answer #1 · answered by E. Gads 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I completely understand. I've had that problem too. The thing to remember is most women have this fantasy about having the perfect marriage, cute perfect kids, and the cute little house (or big house, you know what I mean). Some women think that even though you tell them straight up that you don't want to get married again, they can change your mind down the road. However, once you've been through a divorce, it sticks with you. People who haven't been through it don't realize it. They don't understand.
All I'm going to say is continue being honest with these women. One will finally get it (probably a divorcee as well) and won't pressure you into anything. And you never know, you may meet someone who you may want to marry after all(it could happen! It did to me.), but until then just be straight with them.
2006-09-08 08:15:48 · answer #2 · answered by T.G. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it is not wrong to not want to get married again. 14 years is a long time. Some woman are ready to get married. A lot of woman just want to know if it is a possibility. Most people are afraid of being alone. If a woman can't understand that you don't want to get married then at least you were up front with them. Keep fishing there is someone out there that will understand and want the same thing as you. Just know that you are doing the right thing. A lot of men would just lead on an them leave at least your honest up front.
2006-09-08 08:15:35 · answer #3 · answered by sscott12414 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, everyone needs to get married at least once in their lifetime. Being married is not for everyone and how would you know if you don't. Plenty of people stay in a partnership without ever asking the question and giving the answer. The only difference being married and seriously committed is a piece of paper and divorce. With divorce you split half or a little bit more. Make it clear enough that marriage will never be in the picture, if that's what you want. But then again you might me that special person who just blows you away from every angle.
2006-09-08 08:14:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it is not wrong to not want to get married again. I mena you've been there done that and it didn't work, most would be gun shy! Do you explain to these women the reason why you don't want to get married? If they truly love you then they would respect your decision! When I first started dating my husband he was so against marriage. He had just been engaged and the girl left him a week or so before the wedding to marry someone else. So needless to say he was freaked about getting married! He would say the same thing you did, hell no ect.. I totally understood and was happy just to be with him. Married or not! Of course I wanted to be married but I repected his decision. It just took understanding on my part! Now 2 1/2 years later we are married! So it just takes the right woman that will love you and respect that you don't want to get married!
2006-09-08 09:14:01 · answer #5 · answered by faith 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me ask you one simple little question. Are you having sex with these women? If the answer is yes, then the women think you will change your mind at some point. Try an experiment. Tell the woman up front, before being intimate that you don't ever want to get married again. See what happens. My guess would be that you won't hear from her again. When you say those words after sex, women don't believe what comes out of the man's mouth. When women are being intimate with a man, they think there is a future with him no matter what he says. Lots of men use that tactic as part of their game just to have sex with multiple women. It makes women look really dumb, but in that specific area of life, many women are dumb to understanding how men think. I know because I was one of them three short years ago. My husband taught me everything I needed to know about men before we got married this past summer. It all makes sense to me now. I mad some big mistakes in my thinking before I met him but now I know better.
We had no intentions on getting married and were very content to love each other for the rest of our lives. We both had marriages prior to meeting. He told me in the begining that he would have to have a very good reason to ever get married again. He said that love is not a good enough reason to get married. You can love someone and not be married. In fact he had gone as far to put me legally on all his estate documents if anything ever happend to him. He did find a reason to marry me other than love.
2006-09-08 08:23:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are dating the wrong women. You need to be dating a woman who has also gone through a bad relationship experience and doesn't want the marriage. I (while still married) have told my husband after the wedding in a church that I would never get married again. That was the worst experience and I could care less if I ever marry again. Besides I am in this relationship for the long haul.
2006-09-08 08:09:27 · answer #7 · answered by mom of girls 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is not wrong not wanting to get married again but a lot of women want the stability that marriage brings. I guess that you should look for someone who is in the same mind set as you. I don't think that a long term relationship would be a bad thing if you find the right person though. You can always try online dating and you can put that in your profile, and find a woman that is looking for the same things. Good luck!
2006-09-08 08:13:57 · answer #8 · answered by sweet serinity 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hell no. I was married and now I've been in a 9 year relationship and I'm in no hurry to get married again.
The problem is every girl does want to get married and have the big wedding. I did too but I've done that now and don't need it again.
2006-09-08 08:08:20 · answer #9 · answered by sarah071267 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is not a thing wrong with not wanting to get married again..because I know I don't either... You just need to keep
making it very clear to anyone that you date, that those are your feelings... Just be careful, because there are those out there that may say that is what they want too, just to get their "foot in the door"..
Of course, a relationship is about what BOTH want.. I just stuck to my guns..and am now in great relationship with a man who feels the same way I do.
2006-09-08 08:15:15 · answer #10 · answered by Termite 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, your not missing something. Alot of women (and even men) are like that. Just keep on doing what your doing. If your not interested in getting married, your being up front with them so they need to just get over it! Good luck and I don't blame you - once I get out of my marriage, I'm never doing it again either!!!!!!
2006-09-08 08:28:08 · answer #11 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋