i love my friends and they've gotta be the best i've ever had but i've got a problem now. I dont think i have a single friend left who doesnt cut. I only just pulled myself out of that rut recently but i feel like they are dragging me backwards. they act happy most of the time, they see consellors but every now and then the conversation touches on the subject. I deal with it by changing the subject making jokes constantly. Its how i manage but i cant help them, the consellor cant help them cuz he's stupid and their parents are often the cause not the solution. I try to be there for them but now i feel like theres no one there for me. They all tell me i make them laugh but its obviously not improved the situation. I cant rely on my friends, i cant help them and i have no one to talk to about my personal situation. should i ditch them and start over or should i stop running away from problems and stick it out with my lame jokes?
2006-09-08 01:03:13 · 11 answers · asked by mcr_fan_4evr 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
brb i have a good one
2006-09-08 01:05:01 · answer #1 · answered by Dawn C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in a tough situation my dear. people we think are out friends often turn out to be just the people we "do" things with. Like drinking for example. All those people you see at the bar when you're a regular aren't your friends. They are people you talk to in that situation. If you are finding that your friends are pulling you back into a bad habit that you got out of, good job by the way, then I think you have to not "ditch" them, but gradually find new friends that help make your life positive. You can't spend your life making other people happy and letting yourself fall apart. That is one of the hardest things you may ever have to realize. You matter too!!!
You have tried to help them. People can only be helped if they want to help themselves. You can't MAKE someone better, you can only be there to listen, but if you are getting taken down by it, them please don't let that happen. Try to explain to them that it is pulling you down and if they are real friends they will understand. If not, well you have your answer.
I hope this helps
2006-09-08 01:31:55 · answer #2 · answered by lynswil_25 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't ever ditch your friends no matter what! friends stick together
i think you should just tell them how you feel and how it if effecting your friendship. Tell them this needs to be fixed that the consellor isnt helping them and alk about the old times when you guys were having fun and laughing and now look we are hardly ever talking that's what i would do but this is you so pick you pick :]
2006-09-08 01:08:07 · answer #3 · answered by IRock Haha u Don't 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nicely don't be an *** and "ditch him" in basic terms be person-friendly and tell im you'll bypass carry out with that lady. he will comprehend. It in no way feels solid to be lied to or ditched. he's needy reason breakups damage and also you're his buddy and obviously he feels extra appropriate round you. He enjoys your friendship. So don't be a jerk and ditch him, in basic terms tell him you've a date . you 2 can carry out later. i'm all about respect and in case you manage others with it, they're going to do an similar for you. Be an outstanding buddy.
2016-11-06 21:41:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough..... Well I had the same problem and I just moved away and started over. All has worked for me. It really depend on the situation. In my case family had passed, husbad had trouble and all they wanted to do was party and not try to help me through it. My advice to you is to think deeply about your situation, is this really something that you are willing to lose friend over or is it not as big as it seems.
2006-09-08 01:10:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i had a friend like that in high school... but it was drinking that was her problem. i lived to watch her, dragged her out of bed every morning to get to school, and watched her on weekends to make sure she did not do any thing stupid. by graduation, i was tired. i felf really bad but i had to cut ties. i watched her go straight to the bottom. it was horrible. but i could not do anything about it any more. well it has been 7 years and we just started talking and hanging out. she made it, is married and has 2 kids. i think you should let them go, let them figure it out and see where it goes.. tough love.
2006-09-08 01:10:44 · answer #6 · answered by crystal s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel that they are dragging you backwards, then you must leave them and move on. They ar your friend and I understand that but like you said...YOU can't help them and you must help yourself FIRST. I wouldn't just dump them hardcore, I would tell them that I must move on and wish them the best.
2006-09-08 01:08:11 · answer #7 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
are you sure they are your friends?and how is walking away from a life time of trouble and problems, not to mention the life time of bad habits, running away? you obviously want a more positive life. good luck.
2006-09-08 01:12:01 · answer #8 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I KNOW YOU LOVE THEM BUT YOU HAVE TO REMEMBER "BIRDS OF A FEATHER FLOCK TOGETHER" SO IF YOU CONTINUE TO HANG AROUND THIS YOU WILL PICK IT UP AGAIN, SORRY SWEETIE BUT YOU CANT RELATE TO THEM ANYMORE.IT'S LIKE AN EX DRUG ABUSER HANGING OUT WITH PEOPLE WHO STILL HIT THE PIPE. THE MOMENT HE OR SHE GETS VULNERABLE THEY GO RIGHT BACK TO IT. YOU DONT HAVE TO TURN YOUR BACK ON THEM BUT THINK ABOUT YOUR OWN PERSONAL ISSUES TOO.
2006-09-08 01:13:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
only way to change is to find new friends .It took a long look in the mirror before I realized what it took
recovering junkie (6 years clean!!!!!!!!!!!)
2006-09-08 01:10:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋