I finally found love at 44. But they don't approve. He is out of my socio and educational class so to speak. It doesn't bother me but boy does it bother them. I have my masters and he didn't graduate high school. He is had been married twice. They have even said they would write me out of their will. My 3 kids will totally ignore me if I stay with him. They are l8, 20 and l2. They will live and side with my exhusband if I don't choose to dump my beau. He is fifty. What do I do? Choose the family or the true love??? I have always been close with my parents, sister, and children. Now it is like I have the plague. Help
2006-09-08 00:21:34 · 15 answers · asked by chattykatty 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
While its true that blood is thicker than water, if there is no good reason for them to feel the way they do, then I, myself, would not quit seeing him just because they don't approve.. Just because he is not of your "social status" does not make him a bad person. Now, if they know something you don't about him, or he has a past history of abuse or something, then that is different..
I would let them all know that you are a grown woman and you are old enough to make your own decisions..
If you quit seeing him just because they don't approve, you could be losing the best thing that ever happened to you..
If he is a good person and treats you well, they will eventually see how happy you are and may actually think about taking the time to get to know him and come around.. Good luck!!
2006-09-08 00:32:28 · answer #1 · answered by Termite 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If it was just your parents and sister who were against it, I would tell you that you should do what makes you happy since it's not really hurting anyone else, and that they should know how much it means to you to have someone in your life. They should want you to be happy. I'd tell you not to cheat yourself and that eventually they'll come around.
However, because of your children, that makes it a much more sticky and difficult situation. Have you sat and had a talk with your children? Have you tried to figure out and resolve any of their concerns? Is it your boyfriend they don't like, or is it that they don't like thinking of their mother with anyone? Your 18 and 20 year olds should be more understanding if the guy isn't an awful person and treats them well.
Figure those things out and make sure you're emotionally and mentally available to your kids so that they feel comfortable voicing their concerns. If those issues can be worked out, then great. But if they can't, then your 12 year old comes first and I think you should leave your boyfriend or at least not get married until your youngest is a little older and more accustmed to the situation. But you can't resent your kid for it and you can't take your disappointment out on him/her. He's only got one mother and needs you more than you and your boyfriend need each other. You owe the child that.
If your parents and sister don't like him just because of his socioeconomic background and his lack of higher education, then that's not enough of an argument. However, if it's his character that's an issue, then pay attention because they might be able to see something in him that you're too taken with him to see right now.
2006-09-08 00:34:02 · answer #2 · answered by Purple 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The Family.
2006-09-08 00:23:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
third wedding ceremony? 6 months? Is your sister related to J-Lo? i will grant my own opinion, yet that herein lays the priority. it is ultimately approximately her selection, and she or he would have the ability to do what she needs. possibly she is greater in love with the *thought* of weddings and the attention rather than heavily desirous to marry her companions? if so, this is a severe psychological undertaking that desires expert help. besides the fact that, i'm unlikely to p.c.. on the bride, because of the fact that I have not any awareness as to why her marriages failed. possibly it had no longer something to do along with her. I agree that possibly this is her fiance who needs the marriage. or possibly she fairly thinks there is no different "suitable" thank you to get married. at the same time as this is actual that some visitors could be disenchanted that they are envisioned to holiday all over returned and purchase a marriage present for yet yet another wedding ceremony, some positively will opt to pass help her whatever. enable her have her wedding ceremony, and leave it as much as the visitors to settle on what they are going to do. some will come and convey presents luckily, some won't come era. If she sees that maximum of her visitors are actually not coming, she would have the ability to even scale the marriage down herself. Who knows? The third time's the allure, maximum suitable? ;) P.S. i'll additionally say that the divorce costs get larger and better for each marriage after the 1st. She has an exceedingly extreme possibility of having divorced returned basically in accordance with stats. possibly she, like many others, needs to make your techniques up the justifications why her marriages failed in the previous leaping in headfirst into yet another relationship. It appears like she could be greater centred on her marriage than the marriage itself.
2016-10-14 11:04:21 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a difficult situation for you. But because you're in love, you are not seeing the reality that your family members are. My opinion is as theirs: your education is higher than his, and sooner or later, after love is gone, you'll wake up. He will be feeling humiliated and inferior, and his behavior will change; will be aggressive and demanding, to show his superiority. Honestly, my mother is in the same situation as yours; he is 10 years younger and no high school education. He changed a lot in 10 years.
And is not worth it to loose a family for a stranger. You soon will be 50 and more and you'll need their support.
2006-09-08 00:37:16 · answer #5 · answered by m_kiss2010 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your family comes first, especially your 12 year old. If this is really true love your new beau will wait for you and understand that you need to be there for your children right now.
2006-09-08 00:36:46 · answer #6 · answered by goldengirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow. thats sounds pretty full. on. only u can know what is best for u here. i moved out of home with my then boyfriend at 17 against the will of my family (i was never close with my family like u but). now we're married and very happy and im glad i chose my own path. i wouldnt be worried about the will stuff, but why do ur kids not like this guy? talk to them openly and honestly and listen to them. specially ur youngest as this will probably affect him/her a lot. good luck. follow ur gut instincts.
2006-09-08 00:26:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Boy, you know what? You have yourself a mess! If you really love the guy and he treats you great, stay with him. But be careful, maybe there is something that your family can see that you can't. Could he be after your money and security?
Just be careful is all. Men can be players at any age.
2006-09-08 00:25:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
at some point in time, you need to live your life for you. such snobbery is rediculous in this day and age. follow your heart. if your family is so small minded, who needs their negativity? in my opinion, if you "lose" your family to this emotional blackmail, then you are not mature enough to live away from your parents home ... so, either marry the stiff and enjoy your love, or move back home with mommy and daddy
2006-09-08 00:27:54 · answer #9 · answered by casurfwatcher 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
think of the right thinf that you should do....
honestly i didn't read your story but the advice that i could give you is if you think that following your heart that is to love your guy now could help you and do many good things to you... go on. but if you can see yourself doings things that are not good with him... it is better for the both of you to part ways...
nevermind your parents... you are the one who is loving and will be hurt in the future not them...
i am not telling you to be rebelios... i am just telling you to be practical...
it is better to be fooled by your own hapiness than to be fooled by anyone's advice or likeness...
2006-09-08 00:29:19 · answer #10 · answered by carendawn 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋