My husband cheated with my sister. He has admitted it but my sister catagorically denies it.?

Question

Who should I believe?

I found out by looking at his mobile phone bill. He had text her 65 times in 2 weeks about "fixing a door". We are still together as we have 3 kids. I have severed all contact with her. He didnt freely admit to it but I caught him out by asking questions. He was too stupid to think of quick answers!!

Answer 1

your husband. he's honest enough .

Answer 2

Rarely does a man 'ever' admit to infidelity so surely that answers your question? Your sister is probably continuing to deny it because she feels if the truth comes out it will ruin your relationship with her, either that or shes just a lying ****... Id say go with your husband, i quite honestly doubt he would be making it up because this could potentially end his marriage with you... I think you should be thankful he told and confront her and tell her if she will not admit the truth than you no longer want anything to do with her... And i would say if your husband is genuinely sorry for what he did that you work things through, i doubt you'd find many men as honest... Oh one more thing... In my experience, jealous sisters will do anything they can to get what you have even if it means ruining your marriage... Plain and simple, your sister is a skank...

Answer 3

By the sounds of this, you should believe him because think about this...why would he want to lie about something that could ruin a marriage and any form of love that you both share. This situation is about you being objective and thinking about it from all angles possible because you cannot choose 'blood over water'.He has no reason to lie!! Your sister may be denying it because she feels so guilty about hurting you and is trying to spare you the hurt, OR she wants what you have, a husband, children and security. There are many options to this. Does he want to get revenge on your sister? and saying he had an affair with her might lead you to cut your sister out of the picture completely but this is unlikely because it wil have serious repurcussions on himself and his home life.

Personally, I think your husband and sister had a long time affair, it appears to be more than a one off fling because if it was then your sister would own up to it and face the consequenses but instead she is denying it which suggests its more than a one time deal.

If you hadn't have caught them then what would have happened? It would have carried on and on. She is as much to blame as he is.

Answer 4

Reading what you have written, obviously your husband was denying it at first, until of course some further questions revealed the truth. He was denying it because, more likely, he was wanting to try and continue this relationship with your sister and not necessarily trying to prevent you from the pain of betrayal.

However, he has eventually admitted it, and I do not believe your husband is lying to you on this issue.
Is your sister married or in a permanent relationship? If so, She of course will try to deny this relationship between her and her brother-in-law for as long as possible in order to save her own relationship or to try and prevent damage within your wider family.
Accept what your husband says is the truth and either try to work with each other at saving your marriage or get rid of the lying, cheating rat, who clearly no longer loved or respected you enough to stop him from doing such a thing. There's no excuse for infidelity.

Answer 5

Obviously your husband, even though he hasn't come out and said it as such. Your sister is desperate for you not to know the truth and all that entails, so she is lying. Do you really want to stay with either of them, kids or not, as they have both betrayed you in the worst possible way, not to mention lying to you? On the other hand, have they just been texting, or has this gone further? Maybe this is something you need to find out before you make any major decisions, such as ending your marriage. You will never be able to trust either of them ever again.

Answer 6

I would believe your husband. He has a hell of a lot more to lose than your sister (like you, the marriage, etc.). I don't see why he'd admit to something that damaging just for the heck of it. It's too serious of a situation. At least he had the balls to admit to it. Your sister cheated with your husband. Blood is suppose to be thicker than water and she still managed to have an affair with him. What does that say about her (he's not innocent I know, but he at least faced up to it). I'm sorry you have to go through this and I wish you all the luck.

Answer 7

I would believe your husband. There is no need for 65 text message exchanges between him and her. Doing "honey-do's" for another women is just a way to get over to her place to create an opportunity. If your man is telling you that he needs to stop by after work, to help a single woman he works with move some furniture, he is up to no good. Maybe over time you can mend the relationship with your sister but I don't blame you for being mad. I would be mad to. Good Luck getting it all straightenend out.

Answer 8

I agree with nastee1985. Why would he lie about sleeping with her? Surely you and your kids are worth more than this situation?

I know its easy for me to say because Im not in your situation, but I know people who have been. You need to think whats best for you and your kids.

If you think you can stay with your husband and work through this together (both willing) then go for it. If not make a fresh start for you and your children. Either way you need to find out EXACTLY if it did happen and how long it went on for. Dont sever all ties with your sister until you know.

Answer 9

so your not sure who you believe BUT you have cut contact with your sister? Does that make sense to you? Your actions show you believe your husband. So you punish your sister for the sexual relationship and keep your hubby because you have kids with the man your excusing his infidelity. Does this make sense to you? If the man will cheat on you with your own sister....EVERY & ANY woman is fair game to him. Prepare to find many other women creeping out the closet because your in for a hell of a ride. THey both should have shared the same punishment.

Answer 10

well, as i see it, you missed the point ... irregardless of who you think you should believe, your husband has admitted cheating ... so, either he is testing the waters to see what you would do if he actually cheated, or he did cheat ..who he cheated with is immaterial. my question is how did the information that he cheated reach you and what were the proofs offered? perhaps he admitted it just to stop the argument since you would not believe him in any case. what was the motivation for the person giving you the information? do they like/dislike your spouse/sister? what is the detail that makes it a cheat? was it just a lunch with her? she is family and he might have been asking her advice. not enough information is provided to draw a conclusion

Answer 11

Try and work out the possible reasons why they would say what they are saying. Its obvious why your sister would say what what she does, weather she is telling the truth or not the answer is expected. The key is why is your husband saying it, to provoke you or hurt you? Revenge or to split the relationship between you and your sister. Where is he trying to go by saying such a thing,what is his motive. Ask him what he is trying to achieve, the hard part comes after that because what ever he answers you will have do deal with.