I work at least 50+ hrs a week at my job and I don't want my husband working till he can get a job on the same shift I work which is 5:30 am till 1pm with Saturday off to go school. he 's in the same class I am at school. I read somewhere that most married couples spend less than 4 minutes a week talking and I was detirmend that would not be us, so I told him to hold off finding a job in the city we just moved to until the hrs. are right.
My family says he's a bumb, but while I am at work he cleans, cooks, does laundry,and anything else a "housewife" would do. I also make more than he does at most jobs.
2006-09-07 23:48:22 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
my husband is sous chef so getting a job is not the problem, it's the hours!! we have chosen not be like most married couples and work differnt shifts, because we actually love each other and want to spend time together and we don't cheat on each other like most people today
2006-09-08 00:11:53 · update #1
First off tell childhood family they are jerks. Notice I said childhood family. Your family is you and your husband.
You want him to get the same hours you get. Wrong. Let him find the job he wants and he will enjoy. He might find a better job than you and you can change jobs. Don't put your wants on to the type of job he should get. He is going to be the one working at this job not you.
Less than four minutes a day talking. I don't know who wrote that but the must of asked on person. Most happy married couples talk more that 4 minutes at a time.
Since my wife and I had children we have made it a point to take 30 minutes per day to sit in the kitchen and talk about our day and anything else we wanted to. Our children got so use to it that if we hadn't sat down to talk by a certain time they thought something was wrong. Our children knew not to come into the room while we were talking unless emergency.
I worked a very strange shift from 3:00 pm to 2 AM and we still got our 30 minutes even if it meant one of us had to get up early or stay up late. We talked and still do. Oh 30 minutes as grown to over a hour per day.
If you love each other the hours you work or your husband works should not be an issue. Just make sure you reserve time to talk to each other about everything.
2006-09-08 00:05:45 · answer #1 · answered by Mit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being a chef it is not gonna be easy getting those hours to work, it is just breakfast and not even covering the lunch time period. If he wants to work those hours then it sounds like he needs a change of career, I do not know of any restaurant or hotel that would take a sous chef to work just breakfast and then leave just as the lunch time period is hotting up.
My ex-husband did not work, which is part of the reason he is my ex, the pressure of being the soul wage earner and NEVER having any money for treats will get to you. I think that it would be fine for a man not to work if he was the parent who did the child care, but not for this reason, you are limiting his options.
2006-09-08 10:11:25 · answer #2 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not ok in my family but it seems like it all working out very well for you guys. My husband has a flexible job, so I could see him most of the day, in fact he only works 3 hours a day, which is good and he still makes enough, I don't have to work, there is a lot for me to do at home. It's all individual, make sure it pleases you both.
2006-09-08 07:06:59 · answer #3 · answered by happydial 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well i will tell you now, it will not last... My 'NOW' ex-husband never held down a job the whole time we were together and i was the sole provider for my household... Now let me tell you with two children it wasn't easy... Our children went to day-care while i went to work because he would be in bed until 4pm most days... And forget housework, he would be the first to make mess but i would have to come home from work, cook dinner, get kids to bed and clean... Maybe i would get to bed before midnight... It wasn't always like that, in the beginning he was great, doing all the things you say your husband does, but one day they wake up and think 'wait a minute, let her do it, its a woman's job to look after a man' So i suggest you lay down the law, tell him to get off his behind and find a job...
2006-09-08 06:59:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Of course it is OK for him not to work. As long as he is helping out with the housework and make life easier at home. That is a job in itself. Hats off to you both!
2006-09-08 06:51:57 · answer #5 · answered by mk 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
As a rule of thumb i think it is not ok for anyone to work, period. Having said that, your husband might eventually miss a little social interaction, unless he has interesting hobbies to fall back on, a good wife, and friends coming to visit you both
2006-09-08 06:54:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Its Good that he is doing house-hold work. Go ahead and ride him in bed too to complete the reversal of all duties.
2006-09-08 07:00:03 · answer #7 · answered by a j 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It just isn't normal for a grown, married man, not to contribute to society and his family. You are setting yourself up for disaster. 5 years from now, you will be on hear complaining that your husband still hasn't found a job.
2006-09-08 06:55:31 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If it work s 4 you do it. It doesn't matter what any body says any more. He is you family now. He is your husband and nobody else matters.
2006-09-08 07:21:06 · answer #9 · answered by Sarcastic Sid 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if the arrangement works for you two thats great!!! how does he feel about it? i can relate to the other mode as i work nites and my hubby works days and we have been married for 23 yrs. i would not worry about what other people say its what you two want at this point,
2006-09-08 07:20:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋