i love my husband but i want out. i feel am not getting enough and i feel since i was 17 when i made the decision of marriage i might have made a mistake.he treats me badly sometimes even if am carrying our second child and when i say am leaving he says it's ok with him.but he is a nice person and i know that he has some feelings for me.i have an ex thats offering me the whole world if i agree to be with him he just does not know am carrying my 2nd baby.i am thinking of having my baby then going to him but am also scared cos i met him last 5 years ago and i dont know if he has changed or what he is really like now.i dont have any money since i just finished school so i cant decide to just live on my own for sometime and make up my mind.and as for my parents they wont even listen to me so i have to bear this on my own.I am 22 years old.please do offer me some good advice.
2006-09-07 23:05:53 · 16 answers · asked by sadia 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First of all, you currently have what is called pregnant brain. What ever you are thinking or feeling right now is mixed by those pregnant hormones. Everytime I got pregnant I wanted to leave my husband because I loved him but was not in love. I was so alone, I was not being catered to the way I wanted. It was the hormones talking. Men and woman are different, they don't think the same and your needs are not the same as his. Take a step back and breathe. Marriage is work, there is no other way around it. It is like parenting, you have never done it before so sometimes you make mistakes. Your husband makes mistakes. If you let yourselves grow up together and work thru those mistakes and insentive moments...you could have a great marriage.
Second, an ex is an ex for a reason. No matter what you should not be thinking about getting back with Mr. Ex...even if he is offering you the world. His world is not that big or he would not have been an ex.
Why did you allow him to pop back in the picture...is a better question.
You want attention that your hubby is not giving to you. That is what needs to be addressed with your hubby. Now if your husband is abrusive...that is an entirely different situation.
You need to look at yourself in the mirror and see that you are not seventeen anymore. You are a grown woman with a family...your decisions do not just effect yourself but your children.
I can say all of this from experience, I now have three kids and everytime I was pregnant I felt the way you are feeling right now. I was ready to walk, I needed more. I loved him but was not in love. I stuck it out, I prayed, and now I have a great marriage and I have watched my husband grown from an inmature husband and father to someone I would not trade for anything. It took years of work and we had to go thru things, but that is life.
2006-09-07 23:29:39 · answer #1 · answered by CLEMVIER 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People can change in 5 years and probably has. You are not the same person that you were 5 years ago. If you made the decision when you were 17 you still are old enough to know what you where doing. Seek some counseling and see if that helps. If your marriage does not work, take time for yourself and kids do not bring another man into the mix. Good luck
2006-09-07 23:16:05 · answer #2 · answered by kelsey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So are you saying that you want to give up your baby and leave? First thing u need to do is since you are a mother is put the children first. But I understand your feelings if he will not argue with you about leaving and you want to leave to be happier then leave plain and simple you don't need lots of money and you don't need to run to the next man around. Get out get on your own feet let the kids know they can always rely on their mother. You should be able to support yourself without having to rely on a man in life then when u finally do meet someone u will be much happier knowing the security is there because u can do it if u have to on your own.I know you are a strong person just from the sounds of it by being a mother and going to school and being married. What does your husband say about you being pregnant?
2006-09-07 23:14:57 · answer #3 · answered by hubbys2ndbest2000 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WOw...I feel so sorry for you. I would not recommend you leaving your husband for another guy (your ex) that you really don't know so well. I am absolutley certain that he has changed (and you have changed for sure) in five years. I think you would make a huge mistake to go to him now when youa refeeling so vulnerable. But, it is up to you if you want to leave your husband. You might run into some real troulbe if you did (concerning your children, finances, etc.). But, if you are super un happy, then those might be a risk you are willing to take. Just be careful and listen to yur heart and your instincts.
2006-09-07 23:11:52 · answer #4 · answered by immune01 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
its a very complicated scenario, about going to your ex, well don't make that mistake, the Grass always looks greener on the other side, there is no such thing as a perfect man, every man you meet has some fault in him, its you who has to deal with it.
issues will always pop up in your life and you have to deal with them , there is no such thing as "happily ever after" in the real world, if you think you made a wrong decision by marrying this person, then believe me leaving him would be even worse, (especially for your ex) you will have to take charge of your life, one way of doing it is to get a job, and if things get too hot to Handel then consult a professional help, leaving your spouse should be the last option, (its like ejecting out of a plane in the middle of the Pacific ocean).
2006-09-07 23:17:31 · answer #5 · answered by Librarian 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of changes can happen in 5-years kiddo. He may be married now him self!
Thinking the way you are, I would suggest you leave! But not jump into another marriages! I would suggest you live on your own for a while so you don't feel cheated! You should be able to get yourself a job and support your children!
2006-09-07 23:15:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget about the ex. There must be a good reason why he is just that - ex. Talk to husband and work on your problems. You have 2 kids to think of and not only yourselves. You have made a mistake once. Do not do it again
2006-09-07 23:59:21 · answer #7 · answered by robsnor 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
obviously hes not a nice person if he treats you badly (sometimes)!! you need to go get your place you can live on your own and raise 2 kids you dont need a man to provide for you you may think you cant do it but believe me you can.you will eventually meet someone nice and have a happy life.
i know this because you remind me of me 5 years ago.i lived with my abusive partner for nearly 10 years putting up with his crap believing i couldnt cope on my own with 2 kids but when i finally left i realised i could do whatever i wanted when i wanted.evetually i met a lovely bloke and married him and had 2 more kids.you can do i girl,dont put up with crap. I hope you're happy with whatever you decide to do and the very best of luck for the future.
2006-09-07 23:22:50 · answer #8 · answered by littlepiglette 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You the two want counseling. you should examine to chat with one yet another and that i do no longer think of there is besides he can try this with out counseling. regrettably, if he refuses to get counseling, there is no longer too lots greater you're able to do. a marriage is created from 2 human beings and whilst basically one needs to artwork on the relationship, the relationship is unlikely everywhere. confer with him and clarify to him what you have reported in this submit. Ask him to pass with you to counseling and notice what happens. If he won't, then you certainly ought to do what you should do to maintain your life happy and advantageous. Staying with him and arguing all of the time isn't it.
2016-10-14 11:03:30 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even though you feel your parents aren't helping you or WON'T help you, there is help out there!
You need to deside if this relationship is worth saving. You mention that he "TREATS YOU BADLY SOMETIMES" How is this? anyway, being treated badly, POORLY is NOT a healthy relationship. You and your husband either work it out for all your sake, not just the children or you deside that you aren't meant for each other. There are many services and loving people out there to help you and your children while you try to get on your feet.
2006-09-07 23:14:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋