Good joke or riddle?

Question

Anyone know a good joke or riddle to make others laugh or relieve stress? If so please do tell!

Answer 1

1.Doc: the pain in your leg is caused by old age.
Sam: But Doctor my other leg is the same age and it doesn’t hurt.

2. Drowning man: help, help! I can’t swim! Sam: I can’t play the piano, but I don’t shout about it.

3.· A man rushes onto the plane and screams “Hijack!” The steward says: Hi, Bill! Take a seat!

4. ·What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date? Any old girl he can dig up

5.·A visitor 2 Australia is hospitalised after a mishap. Wen conscious he asks: Did I come here 2 die? Doc: naw mate, ya came here yesterday.

6.·Q: what does the vampire fear most? A: tooth decay.

7.·Que: What did Sam say when he saw a banana peel? Ans: “ Oh! I am going to slip again!
8.·How did the toilet attendant react when his girlfriend proposed? He flushed.

Answer 2

A husband and wife are traveling by car from Key West to Boston. After almost twenty-four hours on the road, they're too tired to continue, and they decide
to stop for a rest. They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road. When they check
out four hours later, the desk clerk hands them a bill for 350. The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He tells the clerk although
it's a nice hotel, the rooms certainly aren't worth 350. When the clerk tells him 350 is the standard rate, the man insists on speaking to the Manager.
The manager appears, listens to the man, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic- sized pool and a huge conference center that were available for
the husband and wife to use.
'But we didn't use them', the man complains.
'Well, they are here, and you could have,' explains the Manager. He goes on to explain they could have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is
famous. 'The best entertainers from New York, Hollywood and Las Vegas perform here,' the Manager says.
'But we didn't go to any of those shows,' complains the man again. Well, we have them, and you could have', the Manager replies.
No matter what facility the Manager mentions, the man replies, 'But we didn't use it!'
The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the man gives up and agrees to pay. He writes a check and gives it to the Manager. The Manager is surprised when
he looks at the check. But sir,' he says, 'this check is only made out for 100.'
'That's right,' says the man. 'I charged you 250 for sleeping with my wife.'
'But I didn't!' exclaims the Manager.
'Well,' the man replies, 'she was here, and you could have'

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A farmer in Indiana got pulled over by a State Trooper for speeding. The trooper
started to lecture the farmer about his speeding, and in general began to
throw his weight around to try to make the farmer feel uncomfortable.
Finally, the trooper got around to writing out the ticket.
As he was doing that, he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head.
The farmer said, "Having some problem with circle flies there, are ya?"
The trooper stopped writing the ticket and said, "Well yeah, if that's what they are.
I never heard of circle flies." So the farmer says, "Well, circle flies are common on
farms. See, they're called circle flies because they're almost always found
circling around the back end of a horse."
The trooper says, "Oh," and goes back to writing the ticket. Then after a minute,
he stops and says, "Are you trying to call me a horse's ***?" The farmer says,
"Oh no, officer. I have too much respect for law enforcement and police officers
to even think about calling you a horse's ***."
The trooper says, "Well that's a good thing," and goes back to writing the ticket.
After a long pause, the farmer says, "Hard to fool them flies though."
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A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police.
"What are these matches and lighter fluid doing in your car?" Asks the cop.
"I'm a juggler and I juggle flaming torches in my act."
"Oh yeah?" Says the doubtful cop.
"Lets see you do it."
The juggler gets out and starts juggling the blazing torches masterfully.
A couple driving by slows down to watch.
"Wow," says the driver to his wife, "I'm glad I quit drinking.
Look at the test they're giving now!

Answer 3

What did the fish say when he hit a cement wall?


Dam!

Answer 4

son:how much does it cost to get married, dad?
dad: i don't know son, i'm still paying.

why did the chicken cross the road?
colonel sanders: u mean to say i missed one?
bill clinton: i do not recall..i repeat, i do not recall of any chicks crossing the road.

Answer 5

Teacher:Sam,tell where is english channel.

Sam:I don't have a T.V.

Answer 6

do you wanna laugh???................