I get extremely frustrated when people ask me when I am going to propose to my girlfriend. When strangers ask me I even get angry. When my girlfriend asks me when we are going to get married, I don't want to talk about it. I love my girlfriend, but I feel that this is something that I, and I alone should have control over. I have dated my girlfriend for 4 years, and I do want to marry her, but I feel like it should just come to me when the time is right to ask her to marry me, not because someone tells me to or because I feel like I should crap or get off of the pot. Is it weird that I feel this way? Should I just give in and ask her now? Is there such a thing as it just feeling like the right time? What do you other guys think? I am getting to the point where I feel like the bad guy because I have not asked her yet. I can't explain to her why, and she just doesn't understand why I haven't yet.
2006-09-07 18:31:37 · 15 answers · asked by MattinCR 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Of course it's frustrating, not to mention irritating. It's the same thing as when I get asked when am I and my husband going to have children. The truth is, we don't want to have any children yet and it's none of anyone's business and it should be the same for u. Don't let anyone pressure u into doing something u are not ready doing. It is your life, your decision. Your decision isn't going to affect anyone else but u and your girlfriend so why let these people's questions bother u? U either just tell them u will get married when u are ready to or u let their comments in one ear, out the other.
2006-09-07 19:02:15 · answer #1 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think wrong is the right term for your frustration unless marriage is something that you fear getting into. Marriage is a big gamble. Some people go for long engagement to know their partners well but you will never know how it is unless you share one home together. And there is no such thing as knowing the person well for you to decide to marry her. I believe that if you are right for each other, you will be able to bring out the best in each other and whether you marry now or later, it will not make a difference.I think you are not sure of yourself at this time and you should do it in your own pace and time. It's your life to live and you should not let friends or circumstances influence your decisions in getting into a very important stage in both your girlfriend and your life. Good luck to both of you.
2006-09-07 19:02:26 · answer #2 · answered by marisu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The people who are asking you (with the exception of your girlfriend) are being rude and you don't owe them any explaination at all.
It's wrong to ask someone to marry you just because other people think you should. No one should pressure you to get married if it's not in your heart to do it BUT, you really should start asking yourself why it's not in your heart to do it. Maybe this isn't the person you want to marry.
The fact that she's trying to find out if it'll happen tells me that she's ready so I can tell you that it will quickly get to the point where she starts thinking that you can't love her the way she loves you. She'll begin to question your relationship and she'll probably start looking around without really knowing she's looking around. I've seen it happen so many times.
My husband's best friend dated someone for 6 years and the last year of it she spent most of the time hurt that he hadn't asked her... she's married now, he's not. She's happy, he's depressed because he figures he's lost the love of his life... he has no idea why he couldn't commit when they'd lived together for 4 years and were all but married anyway but he just couldn't.
"Is there such a thing as it just feeling like the right time?"
For me, I knew after dating my sweetie for about 2 months... he asked me to marry him the day we met and then seriously asked me again 4 months later. We both knew we'd spend the rest of our lives together and 26 years later, we turned out to be right :) When it's right, it feels right
2006-09-07 18:45:52 · answer #3 · answered by Canadian_mom 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It makes sense to me why you don't wanna ask yet & yes there is such a thing as the "right time". Don't give in to pressure. You'll regret it later. No I don't think that it's wrong that you get frustrated. They should just be patient & wait for you to propose. Why can't you explain to your gf why you haven't proposed yet ? Basically I guess you want it to be more special. Am I right ? You don't wanna feel like you HAVE to just cuz everyone (esp your gf) is expecting it. I don't think that it's weird that you feel that way. You shouldn't feel like the bad guy. Maybe you should just tell everyone that you'll ask her when the time is right. Maybe that'll get everyone off of your back. Good luck !!! :) & congrats on finding the love of your life !!! Best wishes for the future !!! :D (Y)
2006-09-07 18:37:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude I feel you.
But since it is EVERY females goal in life to get married, then alot of women who answer this question are going to give you shlt.
They don't understand what guys go through, they think that just because they have dated so long that they HAVE to get married.
So just wait to you are ready and when people keep asking you tell them to ***** off. If your girlfriend loves you enough she should stay with you regardless of when you "Sign that piece of paper"
2006-09-07 18:39:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
most women would consider four years of dating a long time.usually this means it time to take the relationship to another level.but if you are not ready to propose, don't.explain to her how you feel.beware that she may not be agreeable, but you have to talk to her. if you get married because everybody else says so you might not be happy.don't let other people pressure you into marriage.the only thing is ,when you are ready to get married hope that she still wants to.she could get tired of waiting.that's why you have to talk to her,good luck!!!!
2006-09-07 19:09:32 · answer #6 · answered by stoneripple 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so that you've been arguing lots? about what? you note something is inaccurate and think ofyou've got were given been arguing and also you do not understand what the concern is? i'd be depressed too if i change into off to college attempting to more beneficial positive myself and my boyfriend continues to be at domicile hunting for something to do WoW. appears like she is more beneficial pissed off than depressed. the position is your life going. O Its no longer you're at domicile. even as are you planning on going someplace. the position you going to be in 5 say 10 years. O At domicile and doubtless through your self looking instead of creating plans So she is planning for her life and also you're looking
2016-10-15 23:32:50 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You wrote: "I can't explain to her why." Then you are not ready to get married. Marriage takes communication and if you don't have the skills nor the ability to discuss a problem, then don't get married. Best of luck.
P.s. Think about it, you do know why you don't want to get married.
2006-09-07 18:46:36 · answer #8 · answered by Sunflower 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It been 4 long years u both been dating each other... of course she would love to marry u...but u still hv not ask! Tat y she is asking n ppl r asking....i believe these ppl around u both would love to see u both settling down....they r just being "caring" dun need to get frustrated la.... mayb y not ask yrslf wat tak u so long to ask? Right time? How do u "judge" when is the right time?
2006-09-07 18:42:18 · answer #9 · answered by D@ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love her and you want to marry her why wait... you been together for 4 years you should know each other well enough now
2006-09-07 18:35:03 · answer #10 · answered by Sunshynebeams 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋