ok im in 8th grade and 2 days ago my parents made me take homeschool. so ive known my friend since 3rd grade and we're really close, but we only see each other at school.she goes to parties,movies,dances and i cant stay for an hour after school. she cant call me cuz my parents will be mad if i gave out my number, but sometimes i sneak the phone for 2 minutes.we email sometimes but if my parents knew i had an email address, i'll never use a pc again.so today snuck the phone to call her, but no ones there. i called someone else and found out she fainted at school today. so i called her at the hospital and she said it was my fault cuz i left and she was so sad and depressed and it was so hot today. what can i do? me and parents are arabs, if that explains thier actions.
2006-09-07 18:25:24 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Your friend may be very sad, but its not fair of her to blame you for what happened to her. Try not to let people place guilt trips on you and trust me you will have a better life for it. Tell your friend that if she wants to see you so much maybe she can get her parents to talk to your parents about it. If she can't, then she should understand that if she can not influence her own parents to do something for your friendship, neither can you !! (And obviously her parents are more flexible than yours)
Remember that Yahoo question you answered about life giving you lemons and making lemonade? Well, that applies now. You have arab parents (lemon), find a way to make lemonade because they are not going to change and I imagine you want to keep your traditions, respect your elders, etc... So you will have to find a way to exist in a life with many restrictions, few opportunities to explore and make friends, or develop fully into whoever you want to be. That is your lemon. Sorry I did not paint it rose for you. But if you decide you want to completely rebel, you know you will no longer be part of the family and maybe rejected by the community, so the question is "Is it worth it to you?" And I think that in 8th grade you are too young to answer that question and live with the consequences.
I am not arab/muslim but I come from a very traditionalist background . I could not stand it. But I did the sensible thing, waited until I was 18 and my parents had already paid for my college tuition that year to become independent. It was not easy and I had to make many sacrifices and missed them for a long time until they got over it, but it was worth it. I have traveled, seen the world, became a lawyer, went to more parties than I can count and finally got married and have a beautiful family. I chose a husband that loves me AND shows it in many ways including helping me around the house, with the baby, buys me flowers, brings me breakfast in bed now and then and is very patient and flexible. He trusts me so he is not asking me where I went, whith whom, etc.. and doesnt tell me how to dress, he trust my judgment. So if you want to find happiness my advice is: When you get a little older, make sure your parents dont push you into marrying someone who thinks like them, if you ever want to be free!!
2006-09-07 18:59:16 · answer #1 · answered by TrueSoul 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like it might explain and here's the hard truth, there will always be somebody who wants to control you and as I am sure you know you have options, but the penalty's are, it sounds way to high. How about writtingher. That can be really a great experience. Our wastern society is indeed crumbling for all kinds of reasons and close families is not one of them, and close families in the end get you through the hard times. Work with them if you can. Sneaking may end up with you having even less freedom. It is not your fault what happened with your friend.
2006-09-08 01:33:29 · answer #2 · answered by icheeknows 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Until you get out of your parents house there is nothing you can do dear, but if she cant understan that then maybe you should question how true of a friend she is. Tell her that you will try your best to talk to her as much as you can but there is only so much that you can do. Maybe make plans to goto the same college together or something that way she will feel as though you are really trying and you do want to spend time with her but its not in your hands
2006-09-08 01:30:20 · answer #3 · answered by ask me again 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats a rough situation for you. Def not your fault at all. See if you can find a way to loosen your parents up if possible. Going to school is an important social aspect of growing up, and being homeschooled takes away from that experience. I dont know how reasonable your parents are, but try to convince them to let you go back to school instead of being homeschooled.
2006-09-08 01:29:04 · answer #4 · answered by sluijs01 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Write letters and do the snail mail thing ..... Your trauma is not your doing ... your parents think the rules they have are right for you (right or wrong) ....but tell your parents you really want to stay in touch with your friend and try to work out a way. Do Not get caught lying or sneaking around ... you'll blow the trust (what there is) that you have with your parents.
Your friend will always be your friend ... if she ever was to begin with.
2006-09-08 01:31:25 · answer #5 · answered by John 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow that's oppressive. Human rights are human rights, no matter who your parents are. Dept of Children and Family Services (DCFS) might be a bunch of scared social workers, but there must be someone there who can help. No one said it's ok to make your kids miserable and no one ever said it's ok to make your kids miserable if you're arab.
Fainted? That sounds like someone's using a guilt trip to try to control you. Maybe your parents ARE right about your friend...
2006-09-08 01:34:01 · answer #6 · answered by Lobster Dinosaur 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well first off it is not your fault. second it sounds like your folks are real strict. so you have 2 choices. first you can suck it up untill you are 18 then you are free to go. now your other choice is if you live in America? do what the hell you want. with in reason. im not saying drink or do drugs or anything irresponsable but if you want to regret your whole childhood and hate your parents forever stick it out good luck.
2006-09-08 01:30:31 · answer #7 · answered by q-fire 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she's really your friend why would she blame you? It's not your fault at all because you're just obeying your parents. well come to think of it maybe that's just a set up. Choose between your parents or your friend if whose the most important to you then go for it.
2006-09-08 01:34:25 · answer #8 · answered by vjean 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Her fainting had NOTHING to do with you depression does not cause this unless she thinks that you leaving caused the weather to be hot. You cant do anything about your parents till your 18 sucks to be you
2006-09-08 01:28:13 · answer #9 · answered by cvegas229 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing you could've done for your friend. Your parents are strict, but they are only strict because they care for you. Your age matters as to what they will allow you to do. Things will get better as you grow older. Good Luck Teacher
2006-09-08 01:31:05 · answer #10 · answered by Teacher 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋