I been hurt by him many times, things arent sitting right with me if i check up on finds out he says (he not do ing anything wrong ) He will leave me
2006-09-07 18:18:18 · 20 answers · asked by wifey 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First of all, if u are going to do any checking up on him, don't even let him know. Not only will this irritate him (if he's innocent) but will make him hide his tracks better (if he's guilty). Trust your instincts, yes, but make sure u have solid proof to back it up before u confront him and accuse him. The most important thing is, he should never know u are checking up on him cause this will only backfire on u.
2006-09-07 19:08:55 · answer #1 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think this thru carefully before you do anything. Talk with a counselor, minister or trusted confidant for guidance and support. Talk to them about what you know, you feel and your fears.
I think you are losing, or have lost most of your trust in him. (What you wrote: have been hurt many times, things not sitting right..., he will leave you..)
If you find out that he is having an affair, what is next for you? That's what you need to think about. You need a contingency plan - what will you do to protect yourself (emotionally, physically, financially), what will you say to him, will you listen to him and accept an apology and seek counselling to repair the damage done. Or is it the beginning of the end for the two of you?
You didn't mention children - if you have a family, you need to think about their welfare & how to protect them emotionally and financially.
Thinking this thru, step by step, will help make you stronger to handle whatever you learn.
I think you know what has happened - your instincts are usually right. You need to prepare yourself for what happens if your hunch is confirmed.
I wish you all of the best in dealing with this difficult situation. And remember, this is not your fault. Do not try to blame yourself.
2006-09-08 02:17:24 · answer #2 · answered by Tom-SJ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kill him with kindness. Start out slowly ask questions kind of in a converstation. If he short a kurt then I would start to investigate. You have the right I have been married 19 years And i still ask questions. If he gets upset then that's his gulit coming out. Believe me I have been there. Don't let him know you are checking up on him. Come up with excuses just to see him in the act. Use someone elses car that he doesn't know. I have don it and it works. Take a camera with you when you do that. GOOD LUCK!! Most of all PRAY about it!! God only knows.
2006-09-08 03:08:05 · answer #3 · answered by Angela S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to yourself:
1. I been hurt by him many times
2. Things are not sitting right
3. He will leave me
Leave him alone because once you find out, you are not going to do anything any way considering what you said above and you are still there.
Please get some help. Become strong so that you can make a decision based on whats best in your situation and not based on your emotions, lack of them, or because of low self-esteem.
Best of luck.
2006-09-08 01:25:50 · answer #4 · answered by Sunflower 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do it,whatever it is you think you need to do.Just don't do anything you yourself would not be able to live with,like making a scene at his work,rifling through his desk,acting like a wacky woman.It could leave a bad taste in everyones mouth.Although,you know him best,and if kids are involved and you plan to leave him(not the other way around) go for it!!Don't be intimidated,you have the upper hand.And,don't let him steer you in another direction,as if you are the villain.You are not.
2006-09-08 01:48:35 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust your gut instincts. If things aren't sitting right for you, there's probably a reason why. No, its not wrong to check up on him.
You said you've been hurt by him many times.......that says a lot.
You have serious trust issues with this man, and rightly so. Do whatever you feel you need to do to get to the truth.
2006-09-08 01:24:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
U r not wrong la. U r just doing all these cos - 1st he "hurted" u many times, 2nd - u just love him too much
Like ppl said love is made up of so many "thing" n tat include selfishness n fear!
Yr hubby is being selfish by nt being honest w u... n u r fearing tat he will leave!!!!
It hard to trust some1 tat "betray" u b4..therefore a good talk will help u figure out whether to stay on. Cos it all depend whether is he willing to "help" u overcome yr watever thought u hv...Honestly i think it his "responible" to help u gain yr confident toward him again.
2006-09-08 01:36:39 · answer #7 · answered by D@ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i believe that things will be revealed if you pray on it. Ask for the strength to handle the truth. You go searching you may not like what you find. Can you handle it and do you have a plan of what you would do if he is doing wrong???
2006-09-08 01:22:11 · answer #8 · answered by BrooklynQT 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your instincts are telling you that he is cheating most likely he is. Have him followed hire an investigator or use a person that your husband does not know. If nothing is going on then do not tell him what you did simple as that.
2006-09-08 01:22:39 · answer #9 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Apparently 80% of women who suspect their husbands are having an affair are right. Interesting statistic huh?
2006-09-08 01:20:58 · answer #10 · answered by teef_au 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋