I recently had this happen to me. My husabnd just started taking meds for his HIP C. And one night went on a rampage. He wouldn't stop yelling at my children and I so I told him I was going to cal the police I handed the phone to our 11 year o. Right then he said fine you call the police when they get here I will shoot them. Well my 11 year old heard that and instead of calling her grandma like I thought she would she called 911. They arrested her father and he since has been released. He won't come home he wants to stay married but live seperate lives. Blames the mom for giving her 11 year old the phone. For the past year has been waiting a divorce now that I have filed he doesn't want the divorce anymore. We have been married 19 years but says he can no longer live with me. He doesn't trust me or our 11 year old. I got the case defferred for a year. He is very lucky. I have been putting up with the mental abuse. Now that I have filed he is very angry.
2006-09-07 18:03:56 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Okay I came home on 080806 after working and 8 hour shift pciked up the kids while he laid home in bed sick. He wanted dinner I went to get dinner it took longer then expected with the kids. Kids wanted Denny's. Then came home brought him something to eat. Still wasn't happy. Went off the handle. Mind you I work too just like he does. I also was paying bills and first day of school getting kids ready. I didn't want him to get arrested. My 11 year old said they were tired of daddy always yelling at mommy. I don't think casting balme on one anothe is good. I have told him I forgave him. And wanted to go get some couseling but he won't budge. My questions is should I Divorce or stick it out??
2006-09-07 18:24:51 · update #1
You spent more time asking this question and explaining your situation than it should take you to make this decision. Get the divorce. He is abusive to you and is being abusive to your children. Get off the fence and think about your children! They've already told you they want out. If you don't get him out of your life now, you and especially your children will suffer for it. Trust me on this I know of what I speak. Get the divorce and end everyones misery. You don't owe him a damned thing but you do owe your children your love and protection. Set the right example for them. One that they can respect. You will be glad you did. Get the divorce!!!!
2006-09-07 19:52:53 · answer #1 · answered by Cashmere621 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to say since you didn't mention what the rampage was about, but I do know when women get the police involved you have now made him "the enemy." It as if you have turned on him. He obviously doesn't want a divorce, just some respect and changes. Counseling from a minister may give you a happy ending. There are wounds that need some healing, but I know your children would love it if mom and dad could work things out and make life good again.
2006-09-07 18:11:15 · answer #2 · answered by Ned B 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You both made mistakes that you both must now live with. Counseling might help you resolve it, but it seems a little late and a lot of negative emotion is now involved. The best thing for your kids is to stay together, but only if you can get past the issues of trust now involved.
That is VERY difficult. It may be needed to have that separation so that you can work the anger out some. The main thing now is to try and pull apart with dignity. Do NOT try and settle a score.
2006-09-07 18:09:41 · answer #3 · answered by Cabhammer 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Divorce him! You and your 11 year old don't need that crap in your lives. Ok, in your little update thing you said that he came back and then flew off the handle again. What if you stay with this "man" and he flies off the handle again & hurts you or your 11 year old? Do you really want to take that chance?
He sound like HE'S the one that can't be trusted.
Get rid of him.
2006-09-07 19:14:15 · answer #4 · answered by impala_girl_64 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with some of what others say, But the man did come unglued and if it happend once it will shurly happen again and the next time the kids could be hurt..Your a grown lady and we cant tell you what to do but I really think you should think of your children.. THERE TIRED, thats sure no way to bring them up!!Your friend from Tennessee...ROB
2006-09-07 18:57:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Listen, please, listen, a man who will threaten to shoot police is a man you need to flee. Abusers will turn every counselling situation around to blame the violence on you. What would you tell your best friend? You have to be your own best friend now. This isn't about respect, it is about a man who is going on rampages, and you can't stick around to find out how bad it will get. Pick up your purse, put the kids in the car and go. Please.
2006-09-07 18:44:00 · answer #6 · answered by n_of49p 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stand up to the gutless bastard. Or try to at least. If he has changed into this control freak cause of his meds then tell him to ring his doctor & change them. If he wont, tell him to get his own dinner, wash his own clothes. Ask for RESPECT or tell him to start doing things for himself. You & your children are worth more than this. DO NOT PUT UP WITH THIS.....EVER.
All my hopes.
2006-09-07 19:39:40 · answer #7 · answered by satinsword2 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
end it - get out in the previous that's too, previous due! visit court the following day and get a restraining order on him - he won't in any respect substitute - it style of sounds like issues saved getting worse - if it wasn't on your neighbor - he will nonetheless slapping you around
2016-09-30 11:13:06 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't need his mental bullsh*t. If it was me I'd kick him to the curb. Go find someone who will trear you right.
2006-09-07 18:31:10 · answer #9 · answered by flutterby 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Two sides to every story....Why is the man always responsible? What did you do to him? Really, what did you do....? Because nobody is buying your little sob story.
2006-09-07 18:19:54 · answer #10 · answered by michael b 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋