My fiance wants to hire a DJ she had a past history with. she did not cheated on me with him or anything. it was before we met. but it is awckward and she didnt find anything wrong with him. she has already contacted him twice and met him once personally. should i be concern? i feel this is pathetic. is this acceptable?
2006-09-07 17:58:57 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you got a problem with it then she should respect that. I wouldnt want any of her old b/fs hanging around on my wedding day. The more I think about it, I would raise hell. Would she mind if you brought in a old flame to be a part of the wedding? Maybe spend a day or so with her so she can help plan your wedding. Thats suppose to be yours and hers special day. She shouldn't have put you in this spot, now she needs to fix it.
2006-09-07 18:18:06 · answer #1 · answered by noname 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not knowing anything about your situation, I have to draw on mine, and imagine what if it was me. I would be concerned about where her head is at. Women can operate on another level than us. I went to a dinner dance and we were at a table with a dude my wife used to date in college. Now, we been together about 15 years at that point, and half the time I'm sitting there, uneasy because this dude used to bonk my wife. Nicest dude in the world, in fact, I went to the same school and knew who he was, but didn't know her at the time. Maybe that made it a little easier, but hey, the male ego is always going to be weak on matters like that. I'm sure if an ex of mine was in the vicinity in the same scanario, she would be a little tense. I certainly would not want her meeting with him alone unless it was in a public place. Not that DJs are sleazy, but some dudes think once they have tapped it, that they have a pass to revisit, or to at least make an attempt.
One dude did come over to her house while we were engaged, and he was her "first", and homie tried the old "for old times sake" line, which I had told her he would try. Bottomline, you are going to have to let it go, unless you know for sure that there could still be a flame there. Is your girl all timid and easily persuaded? Where did she meet him and will she meet him again? As long as he doesn't think this contact means he is free to try to hang around and stay in touch on into the marriage, coming over and hanging out as a third wheel. Some guys get a kick out of knowing the other guy is uneasy about it. If you catch him in any way trying to give you any look or comment that translates into a "been there, done that" tease... well, I would have to take a stand right at the moment of truth of when it happens, no matter what kind of scene it makes. You can always get another DJ. Its not like he's a live band. Anybody can play some CDs.
2006-09-08 01:22:14 · answer #2 · answered by Andre1998 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think you have anything to worry about, have you met him/??? You are going to run into past relationships and so will she, sometimes people keep a friendship between them.
Just tell her that it bothers you, if it really bothers you. I am sure it is no big deal. But just keep things honest from the get go, otherwise it will be worse when married.
Communication is the key to a great relationship, It took me a long time to realize that, but I have learned and boy does it make things much easier.
2006-09-08 01:32:51 · answer #3 · answered by LM 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not want one of my husbands lovers in the past to be at my wedding. Yes it would be very awkward. Have her hire another DJ.
2006-09-08 01:02:00 · answer #4 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let her know u are uncomfortable about it. You have to tell her in a gentle manner. Not in an bad tempered manner, it will make her angry and thinking that you don't trust her.
If you don't tell her, she will never know that you don't like it.
She may not do it because you don't like it.
2006-09-08 01:05:06 · answer #5 · answered by sassy girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell your wife, thats all i can say. communication is the hardest thing about being married, don't let the problems start now, talk to her!
2006-09-08 01:01:06 · answer #6 · answered by Fluffington Cuddlebutts 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Grow a set of balls and be a MAN.
2006-09-08 09:52:20 · answer #7 · answered by Monty L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to trust your wife. even though, the meeting secretly- worries me. confront her with your concerns.
2006-09-08 01:03:03 · answer #8 · answered by MISTYGEE19 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u had some reason to worry of her with another man she probably wouldn't be marrying you!!
2006-09-08 01:04:16 · answer #9 · answered by cute_redneck_girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wheres the problem get over it she is marring u not him
2006-09-08 01:01:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋