My husband Lied to me Constantly for 6 years. And I have had enough and told him that it is over after failed hypnotherapy. He refuses to pay for me to go back (hes making life very difficult for me this way) he SWEARS he will change this time but I am NOT CONVINCED am I right to trust my own instincts or am I being unfair? He is trying his utmost to try to make me feel guilty for not wanting to try again I have been through so much with his Lies and it was at the point where I felt I was going Loopy!! Not able to concentrate, feeling low with all the lies, and feeling like Inspector Morse!-Seriously you have to be a good detective to be married to him! I dont want to live like that for the rest of my life!! He doesnt understand how desperate I am to get out-For Good. Hes playing with my Brain Badly. With "Please Stay we can work it out" etc etc.
2006-09-07 17:31:41 · 15 answers · asked by maria t 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Save up the money for a ticket and go.
If you need to be sneaky about it, go get a PO Box. Open a bank account at a different bank than you and your husband use. This is where the PO Box comes in, you put it down as the mailing address so the statement gets sent there instead of the house. Take out cash at an atm at the mall or wherever and then deposit it into the bank account you've opened. Tear up the statement at the Post Office and throw it away each month.
2006-09-07 17:33:27 · answer #1 · answered by C K Platypus 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I can honestly say I know what you're going through...it really hit home when you said the whole "detective" thing. Of course he won't pay for you to go back because he wants you to stay. He may be lying to you and doing things untrustworthy behind his wife's back, however you are his security blanket. You stay with him even when he knows you shouldn't therefore you have shown him that you will always be there...kinda like a sign of loyalty and everyone wants loyal companions right? I know that in my situation I was practically imprisoned and there seemed like no way out. I wasn't working and any little bit of money I had was monitored by him. What I suggest is to swallow your pride and ask anyone at home if they could help you out--but don't tell him just yet. When you get home and settled you can start working or find a means to repay them back. If that's not an option, it may take you a while, but don't lose sight of what's important to you. If you are working start saving! If not, or you can't work, try doing something online like selling something on ebay to make some money. Nobody deserves to feel unhappy for that long. Stay strong and try try try to ignore him and just act civil so he won't suspect that you are planning to leave. If he discovers you are trying to go, I can guarantee he will try to sabotage your intent. Good Luck, take care and always keep your head above the water.
2006-09-07 17:41:15 · answer #2 · answered by DesertRain 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My Lord..My husband is the same s!@#%, My life is being ariund as a detective to find out his lies...I know we deserve better than that, an the only solution that I have for you....get out of sight, get a new life somewhere else and save your maney to get a ticket if this will be still the case. Maybe you will just find someone else...this apply for me too
2006-09-07 17:41:26 · answer #3 · answered by SILVINHA 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Save money secretly in your own private account. Be ready to leave when you need to. You are being abused badly. Imagine his lies as him attacking you mentally. Don't be afraid to ask for help from your community or church. If the decision is final then you need to get out while you can. Only you can decide when.
2006-09-07 17:52:04 · answer #4 · answered by Steve O 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find you a place in another state; get a job until you can save $6-800 bucks, and buy a 1-way couuch ticket to London. File for divorce there, or just wait for papers to get to you from him. Don't let him know where you are until you are back in the UK.
2006-09-07 17:46:01 · answer #5 · answered by seeitmiway32 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you in the situation you are in.I have always said that everyone deserves a second chance but lie after lie for 6 years.....He has had his chance...or should I say chances.I do not think you are being unreasonable at all and can't blame you for wanting to leave but this decision is yours and yours alone, however if it were me I would leave the lies behind me.
2006-09-07 17:40:26 · answer #6 · answered by kahmfs74 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's the bad thing about marriage, once you are in it, till death do you part, it doesn't matter how foolish or evil he is. He is your husband and he is yours forever and you are his forever. I repeat till death do you part, what GOD had joined together , let no man put asunder. When you love someone, IT STAYS IN YOUR HEART FOREVER. And love, and only love can cover a multitude of sins. Husbands may have his weakness and so are the wives. The best thing to do is to forgive. Because when you forgive someone , you set the prisoner free and you will discover ithat that prisoner was you.
2006-09-07 17:51:46 · answer #7 · answered by dtmc542006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go with your gut. Even if you have to borrow the money to do it. Get out while you can. Listen to that little voice. Sure he swears that things will be different...was it different last time? Has he said that before? Follow your heart. Go home. Be safe. Be free.
2006-09-07 17:36:20 · answer #8 · answered by thanos 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pack your bags and don't let the door hit you in the butt. Move on and find someone who respects you. Look in a mirror and that person is going to be number #1
2006-09-07 17:34:53 · answer #9 · answered by Just some PE Teacher 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
IF going back home makes you feel better then do so cause you always need your love ones support.I also had that problem and if you can't forgive him your heart then how can you go loving him.P.S. KNOW ONE GOING TO LOVE YOU LIKE YOUSSELF.
2006-09-07 17:40:05 · answer #10 · answered by plies 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋