Can you buy me cigarettes? Sure, meet me at the store. Can't, I have a flat tire. Hmmmm...this is a normal conversation for us, her being the one who needs something. She is fibbing about the flat tire, and I can't see delivering someone else cigarettes? How about food? She calls and tells me her children are hungry, can I spare some food?
2006-09-07 17:00:01 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
Stop talking to her if she is taking advantage of you. It is one thing to be kind to someone but it isn't good to let other people use you and take advantage of you. It is disrespectful of her to use you and your friends should respect you more than that or they aren't your real friends.
2006-09-07 17:06:24 · answer #1 · answered by Gwen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are a very giving and helping perrson. That can often lead to such people taking advantage like she is doing. It's hard to say No to someone with kids. Believe me I understand.
I am currently helping a Mother and her 19 year old daughter get back on their feet. Their question was if they could stay with me for 3 days? Tomorrow (Friday) will be 3 weeks!
My story is pretty much the same: borrow $20, give it back then borrow $10, their car is in impound, their indentities were stolen, her purse was stolen, she just paid a ticket, she has some disease, the daughter got hit by a car, she has a major law suit in the works and will pay me later, they are moving to California and needs gas money, on and on and on...............
I know some of their troubles are valid but most are brought on due to the way they manipulate others and the welfare system.
What I have done is sit them both down, (last night) and ask them what their plans are for the next couple of days for finding them a relative or someone to stay with? Of course the Mom cried saying they have no one and nowhere to go. I said that I understand but, I also have MY family to think of now.
I said that the Mom and daughter could both get jobs over the next few days, use my P.O. Box for an address, they have a car and that I believe they could do more to help themselves. to get on family assistance for a period of time, use all their resourses such as other friends or relatives.
But that the favors and loans have caused my family problems. I told her that I love her and her daughter, but I think grown folks should be working, even if it is at McDonalds. 2 minimum wage jobs equals about $12 an hour and with that= about $400 a week should be able to take care of themselves.
I think your friend should be told something simular to this. Since she has children she can get food stamps so food shouldn't be any issue. The Family and Children services has a probelm for Women with children where they can rent a home for such a low and rediculous amount like $17 a month! And that is a fact!
They will pay for college, and so much more. Talk to here about all this and tell her that SHE has to take responsibility for her own situation.
When she calls for help? Tell her you just can't do that any longer. Be firm, stick to your guns!
2006-09-08 00:47:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anna M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Change your phone number, or when she asks for something, say "I was just about to ask you for the same thing". Or call her at midnight and ask her to bring you some detergent so you can wash your kid's clothes for school and while she is at it to pick up some ice cream or some stupid thing like that..............be as annoying as she and she will leave you alone...............That sounds mean but she is a user and does not deserve to have you as a friend or your favors.
Tell her to look up the number of the State Social Services office and apply for food stamps and while her application is being processed to go to the a food bank or a church pantry. Suggest also that if she did not spend on cigarettes there would be more food money..........If she has real problems feeding her kids and is too dumb to do something about it,(and she does sound like she has mental or social adjustment problems) you need to call Children's Protective Services."
2006-09-08 00:12:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Supply help exactly right and yet perfectly wrong.
Cigarettes: They don't have to be new.
Flat tire: Supply another so they match.
Food for kids: Supply the most kibble-like food you can find. Organically grown wheat, not milled (straight out of the husks) should cover it. "Surely you know how to make your own flour, dreary." You should be able to get a bushel (60 pounds) for under $10 retail. Drop that sucker off and see if she asks again.
2006-09-08 00:12:14 · answer #4 · answered by sheeple_rancher 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hONEY, been ther done that! RUN!! It will never change!
If you can be straight with her about her begging and she abviously has no self worth ot responsibiltiy run!!!
My hubby and I had friends like this and we always lost, we just disappeared one day, moved!
But you can also tell her look, I'm so busy right now, things are changing for me ( say your having problems with ur hubby, school) and hang up on her, i'll call ya later then don't call!
Really you'll thank me later, us nice people suffer more.
you were not meant to take care of the her kids, even being fake ask her sweetie, do you think you need to give up the kids since you can't feed them? say things to make her think!!!
2006-09-08 00:06:58 · answer #5 · answered by ryesiempre2812 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It never helps to totally shut someone out of your life. Kindly sit her down and explain that you are not a human vending machine, and that you feel like she expects a lot from you. Choose some boundaries with her like, I can't do that for you, but I can do this....then explain what you can do. Make sure there are trade offs with her for things that you do.
2006-09-08 00:13:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just don't respond or fib. If she fibs to you, you can surely fib back. Just have balls to cut her off. I think that's your biggest problem. But, seriously, no one needs a friend who takes advantage of you like that!
2006-09-08 00:06:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a giver, but enough is enough! I put a sign on my door that said:
I do not loan cash or anything else.
You can not borrow anything from me.
I do not give out food.
I am not a taxi.
or Do not disturb!
They will stop coming when they see you are sick of it.
I told one girl, you are disrespectful me, my husband works your needs to get a job.
2006-09-08 02:24:51 · answer #8 · answered by dancinintherain 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask her if you have "OPEN 24 HOURS A DAY" written on your forehead?! she's using you because she can! you're enabling her. you gotta do it like bob marley said, "get up! stand up! stand up for your rights!" you're not working for her! you "think" you're being her friend. friends do things for each other. it's not one sided. tell her to get up off her behind, get responsible and get a job!!
2006-09-08 00:12:05 · answer #9 · answered by luvmuzik 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I call this type of person a moocher and avoid them
2006-09-08 00:05:42 · answer #10 · answered by mjdp 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋