One day recently my 26-year-old friend was at home with her husband, and they were playing all around their house. She playfully socked him in the left side of his chest, and all of a sudden a wave of pain came over him and he collapsed to the floor.
It turned out that my friend had dislodged a blood clot with her love tap, causing the heart attack.
Her husband is okay, but she can't get over feeling guilty about the incident. Any suggestions?
2006-09-07 16:10:15 · 6 answers · asked by Special nobody 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
It's great that you are a supportive friend! Remind her that it was an accident. When she bring the subject up, remind her that her husband is now okay. One of my husband's hobbies is a martial art. No one intends to hurt another player, but sometimes it happens, and the guy/or girl that hurt you is your friend. There are no hard feelings. Everyone knows it is an accident. I hope her husband tells her that he does not blame her. If he is somehow holding this over her head, she may need to get professional counseling. You didn't indicate that this is the problem, so I hope it's not. If despite assurances from you and from her husband that guilt does not go away -- she may need to see a counselor or therapist. But for now, just remind her that it was an accident and that her husband is okay. See if you can get her to say this for herself, or perhaps to write it down.
2006-09-07 16:21:07 · answer #1 · answered by M H S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The result could have been the running around the house, not from the punch she gave him. She defiantly did not cause his heart attack. A lot of things lead up to having the heart stop, and that is his fault not hers. She does not have the ability to take responsibility from the day he was born. He probably inherited the heart problem from his mothers side of the family. Boys inherit their mothers genes and the girls get their genes from their father. Just tell him to start taking care of him self and she can help buy helping him with his diet, and going to classes to figure out what is best for him. My husband had a heart attack shortly after we got married. 17 years later he had a final one. His life and body are his responsibility all she can do is be there for him and give him love. But the blame is not hers she did not give birth to him. Check his family history, you will probably find out he is not the first in his family to have health problems.
2006-09-07 16:26:55 · answer #2 · answered by twentyeight7 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Something funky happened with my computer so if this shows up twice I apologize.
She may have actually saved his life. My ex was dating a guy that was in the hospital for a blood clot in his leg and he died because even though he was in the hospital no one was there when it broke loose. He was only 22 or 23 at the time.
By being there when she hit her husband, she could react and help. Just think if this happened in the shower a month or two later when he was alone.
2006-09-07 16:25:03 · answer #3 · answered by youngliver2000 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her not to blame herself. If it wasn't that "love tap" it could have been anything at all anytime that would have caused it. Tell her that it was fortunate that she was around when that happened, the worst would have been when her husband was alone and for her to come home and find him in a state no longer recoverable (just minutes would have deprived the brain of oxygen causing innumerable physiological and mental damages).
The joke that from now on, her treatment toward her husband should be "daintily... such a fragile..." all those things.
2006-09-07 16:16:05 · answer #4 · answered by Bummerang 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, that sounds like a difficult thing to go through.
But I always wanted to believe that you have to put yourself in the shoes of the one you want to be happy.
Or, put herself in her husbands shoes. I think he would he happy to be alive. I am sure if they are really deeply in love, that she shouldn't worry too much about some blame trip all the time.
The memory of that day may not ever go away, and things might be different. But she has to try to be happy. If this had happened to me or something, sure I would feel scared about my heart attack. But I wouldn't dare stay mad at my love. Never.
-I can only wish her the best of luck.
I do not know anything more on this-
2006-09-07 16:21:36 · answer #5 · answered by MEUN 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She shouldn't be feeling guilty .
She is not in control of his biological workings.
If it had not happened he may have gone on and one day it could have brought about his death.
Also tell her guilt is self destructive and if left untreated can lead to illness in her own body.
Take care!
2006-09-07 16:20:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋