How come they don't train seeing-eye walruses?

Answer 1

They do, my uncle had one. Sadly the call of the open sea was too much for Wally (the Walrus) to endure. And off he went, back to his native iceberg, leaving my uncle a broken man. My uncle saw him off at the harbourside, sadly my uncle (being blind) waved for hours on end in the wrong direction.

Answer 2

The problem is that walruses are notorious for their love of fish flavored milkshakes, and if you live down the street from a McSnapper, the silly critter will always be trying to drag you out of your way to get a treat.

Seeing-Eye wildebeasts are far more reliable.

Answer 3

I think it is because walruses prefer sea to land. Walruses are also very mean. That means they are very hard to train because they also aren't as smart as dogs and they don't really follow commands and instructions.

Answer 4

Walruses are dangerous, ill tempered sea mammals. Other than that, ever tried to fit a walrus in an elevator?

Answer 5

They used to back in the 1930s, but, like the "B"-Cell Battery Tragedy, seeing-eye Walri caused many innocent deaths, which were hushed up during the Millard Fillmore Administration.

It was more than three years before a correlation was drawn between blind deaths by misadventure and seeing-eye walri. Finally, on February 17, 1933, physicist Albert Einstein and housewife Eunice Nicker-Baiter simultaneously noticed this pattern, and completely independent of each other. There was a sudden influx detected in the accidental death rate of the blind. The majority of these demises were caused by walking into moving traffic, mistaking air-shafts for elevator entrances, and confusing dynamite sticks with fine cigars.

Finally, Einstein and Nicker-Baiter noticed this pattern and they both ascertained that the walri themselves are nearly blind. Perhaps Einstein put it best when he asked, "Vhat, vould you ever screw a valrus if you veren't blind? Der damned things cannot even see each udder!"

Nicker-Baiter spent her life savings trying to develop an eye-test for walri so that they could wear corrective lenses, but to no avail. On Boxer Day, 1951, destitute and disillusioned, she committed suicide by lighting her farts with a gas stove. Nicker-Baiter was fifty-six years young at the time of her tragic death.

The last of the seeing-eye walri, Porky-Poo, served as interim prime minister of China for a few months in late 1956 while Mao tse Tung was secretly hospitalized for a yeast infection in his lower eyelids.

Answer 6

Walruses are quite mischievous and easily distracted. Not as on point as say, a dog who spends his day licking his own testicles. Besides, walruses are know for their rather large genitalia. It would be too intimidating for those poor, fluffy fellows.

Answer 7

Because the walrus can't make his way comfortably down a sidewalk. Eventually the concrete would wear his skin away, and you would have a cranky, bleeding, seeing-eye walrus.

Also, they are veeeeeery expensive and difficult to house and feed.

Answer 8

Needless to say...I dare not attempt to follow rt's response...as its scorchingly melodramatic theme had me experiencing sustained abdominal pain of a jocular nature.

Answer 9

Because the tusks get in the way.

Answer 10

Have you ever tried to scoop up walrus poo from a sidewalk?