I came to the dock, it was dusk. Time is nothing. I sit and stare out into the lake in all its vastness and wonder about things to come. As I gaze into the water the things that I am thinking about appear in the water. Some things are terribly hidious, while others are mear shadows dancing like willow trees in the open field. Then, my eye catches something else in the water. Her. She says something but I do not hear. Then she turns and walks away. The thing I didnt hear was important. I get up and continue to follow her untill I see her going up the ledge, when she reachs the top. She stops. I gaze into her eyes and realize what she has said. Before I finish the dream she falls into the darkness of the lake silently.
2006-09-07 15:08:46 · 13 answers · asked by poc21_pib 1 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
Ahh yes, I see how you react. My writing isn't suppose to be how you want it to be, it is of my own. If you wrote it, your opinion would be bias, no? That is why I ask of you to tell me the context of this . You tell me why it says what it says. Look at it as if you are that person sitting on the dock. Then tell me your thoughts.
2006-09-07 15:18:06 · update #1
whoa
2006-09-07 15:10:24 · answer #1 · answered by Grim 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The message for you is that to pursue, you must continue to go forward. She led you to where she could go no further, and departed. The answer she gave was not meant for you to be heard, but only to lead you onward. For her, the symbol of the journey ends abruptly. For you, there is much to the journey ahead of you. The gaze confirms that your journey remains a part of the future, but her conversation is a part of the past. As for us all, the fall into the lake leads us into another stage of life, unknowable, to see into, and a mystery to lead us onward.
2006-09-07 22:16:06 · answer #2 · answered by Lance U 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can pretty much follow the buildup of events.
If you could find a better way of expression within each line, and really create a mood, the effect would come out much stronger.
2006-09-08 13:02:08 · answer #3 · answered by Saffren 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
kinda bad. especially bad becuase I dont have a clue of context. Work on forming more descriptive senctances. SHOW me it was dusk instead of saying "it was dusk". SHow movement. Gesture. Stylize the envoirment, to create a mood **** like that.
2006-09-07 22:13:51 · answer #4 · answered by Tones at 1K and 10K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you wrote this your on your way to being a good writer,If you got it out of an already published book who wrote it and what is the name of the book.
2006-09-07 22:14:26 · answer #5 · answered by unicornfarie1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its a bit on the dark side but I like how you invision losing somone in a dream.
2006-09-07 22:22:50 · answer #6 · answered by Bobby the WOOD Heenan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not sure what this is! What's the context? Are you trying to be a writer or something?
2006-09-07 22:10:46 · answer #7 · answered by Zak D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The beginning of a journey.
2006-09-07 22:19:18 · answer #8 · answered by Conway 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pretty decent! Good luck with your writing!
2006-09-07 22:11:02 · answer #9 · answered by penwrite5 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She was trying to tell you not to follow her, but you couldn't hear her due to your earphones.
2006-09-07 22:12:21 · answer #10 · answered by Mommymonster 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋