I have been in a relationship with my live in boyfriend for years now. We have 3 kids together also. He has not asked me to marry him and everytime I try to talk to him about it he does not answer me and just ignores me. I really want to be married since we are in love and have children together but will not force him. Any suggestions on how to push him to ask?
2006-09-07 14:43:59 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hey, Why must he ask u??? U can ask him too! :o)
Pushing him might make him feel forced! Remember forever is a long time!
I understand where u r coming from... and here's an idea...
Get the kids out of the house saturday night, and make him a romantic dinner and then tell him u wanna talk about a to u very important issue... and then explain to him how u truely feel... and if he loves u like u say he does, he will listen!
good luck
2006-09-07 14:49:55 · answer #1 · answered by crjensen4 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you have no need to get married. since you are already living together and have children. Why would he need to marry you? This is something that should have been discussed before the family expanded. Why take a chance on marriage now? Right now you could split up and not have to go through a divorce. Maybe he wants the security of knowing he can get out easily if he desires.
2006-09-07 21:59:11 · answer #2 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've made the children, now your priority should be taking care of them. There are some unfortunate things that could happen, but you have to weigh the fact that you want the kids to have their dad around. (I assume he's an ok dad, or you'd be wanting him to leave, not to marry you!) I wouldn't give him an ultimatum, it's too late for that and too much at risk.
We had some neighbors who lived together with her 2 kids. He died of a drug overdose, and his family came and literally took everything away. The kids were watching tv and they took it. Of course they weren't their grandkids...so hopefully you'd have something different there.
At this point I think all you can do is be glad that you're kids all have the same dad and that he's there. Find out what the law is in your state--at some point you might be common law married, but not all states accept that.
2006-09-07 22:16:32 · answer #3 · answered by Plain and Simple 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, do not push.
You are stuck with a lemon. Too bad there are not lemon laws in marriage or relationships. This guy has it made, and does not want to pay for a divorce. He feels (by observation) that women have expectations of marriage and that you will change if you tie the knot.
You need to ask yourself why it is that you want to be married. If you can give yourself a VERY GOOD reason or reasons why you want to get married, then those reasons should convince him. If they don't then they are either not good reasons, or he is a lemon.
2006-09-07 21:48:56 · answer #4 · answered by wizard8100@sbcglobal.net 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get him drunk and take him to Vegas,baby. Or give him the old ultimatum. Marry me or I'm out, depending on how serious you are about it. Do you need to be married? Or do you just want to be married? Think about the couples how aren't married and have been together for years like Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn, Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon, hell Johnny Depp and Vanessa. You consider them a couple regardless of the fact that they don't have a marriage license.
2006-09-07 21:55:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally understand how you would be anxious for him to ask, but I have been married, and trust me, you don't want to push him to ask. When he does pop the question you will feel much better about it in the long run if he does it when he feels ready, not forced or conned into it.
2006-09-07 21:51:08 · answer #6 · answered by Nicole H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You obviously are not happy the way things are now. He knows it and obviously doesn't care. Tell him to set a date or that's it. Honestly, this is not a good situation. Are there other issues involved? Does he ignore you at other times as well? Or is he attentive, caring and loving?
Maybe he is taking you for granted and needs to get shook up a bit, but you should have more respect for yourself than to settle for this kind of arrangement.
2006-09-07 21:49:20 · answer #7 · answered by kitty K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has not reason to get married because he has it all. The only way to get him to ask is give him a deadline to get married by, however, be prepared if he decides to just walk away. Some men don't get married.
2006-09-07 21:47:21 · answer #8 · answered by kny390 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one likes to be forced, so I say don't force him. Or even better, be different and propose to him!!! I mean most men can't say no to a pretty face and someone they love. If you want to get married that bad, it's either that or wait until he is ready...
2006-09-07 21:47:27 · answer #9 · answered by Optimus P 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why is marriage so important? What do you think will change the relationship you already have?
If you are really serious about wanting to be married, sit him down and tell him how you feel. Tell him how it affects you. Make him listen to you.
2006-09-07 21:46:49 · answer #10 · answered by sarah071267 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋