How can i live with my wife after i found out she has had affairs?

Answer 1

This is coming straight from a woman - leave her. Why would you want to be with someone that has such little respect for you?

Answer 2

That's a great question. I know couples have done it so it can be done. You have to re-build the trust that has been shattered and that takes time, honesty, her apology and an explanation of exactly how those "affairs" happened. Usually they start with friendships that get too intimate -- your mate starts talking to someone else about things they should be talking to you about or they are unhappy in their relationship with you but don't have the nerve to talk to you about it so they try to sabotage the relationship in some way so you will give up.

After you try to work it out as best you can you may still want to go to a marriage counsellor a few times to have a 3rd party who can be sure the conversation is honest, fair, and productive.

I am so very sorry this has happened to you and hope you guys can work it out!

Answer 3

An affair does not neccisarily mean the end of a marriage. If both people want to try rebuilding the marriage there are resources available to help you work through it. Affairs are common and happen in more than half of all relationships. I am including a link at the bottom that can help you get pointed towards rebuilding your marriage if that is the path you choose.

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/infidelity/MH00110

If you feel that you can not salvage the relationship - then it would be time to move on and move out.

Answer 4

You don't have to live with her unless you want to be with her.
If you don't want to be with her, then I would suggest you kick her out, or you move out and have a temporary stay at a family or friends house.
If she's had affairS (capital S purposely put) then she didn't just cheat once, she continued to do so, which goes to show you she obviously doesn't have the feelings she claims for you.
Anyone who has an affair is a fool... and to do it more than once is completely idiotic. I can only hope that you're man enough to leave this woman that seems to have only caused you pain.

Answer 5

Ask yourself these critical questions:

1)Is it a pattern or isolated?
2)Does she own up to it, or make excuses?
3)Does she know how this has directly affected you?
4)Has she done everything that she can to say that she is sorry and try to make it up to you.

If it is a pattern which it sounds like it, and she makes excuses for her actions instead of owning up to it and she hasn’t expressed that she realizes how this has directly affected you emotionally than I would move on. Because she won’t change. I am not a professional but I watched Dr. Phil today and he had some pretty good advice. If you are willing to forgive and move on ask yourself this last question:

Are you strong enough that if she did it again that you could pick up with your life and move in and not crumble to pieces? If the answer is ‘no’ you better think long and hard.

Answer 6

don't! if she's had affairs- more than 1 affair, then she obviously doesn't really want to be with you. Adultery is one of the worst things a person can do. You deserve much better. There's a woman out there who will love you the way you should be loved.

Answer 7

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Answer 8

If you haave proof positive that she has, I really dont know how she can face herself, she has broken her vows and has defaced her marriage, this is just how you should look at it. Seek marriage counseling first, this might help you resolve those issues of not trusting her. Next, you really need to sit down and discuss why she cheated in the first place, even though you may think she hasnt got a goood reason, I am sure that she justifies it with one. This will affect both of you forever. So, the sooner you get started the better. Good luck!!

Answer 9

You have some major 'soul searching' to do.
You have to decide if you're strong enough to forgive her. Truely forgive her. This will take time of course, but by truely forgiving her that means letting go of resentment towards her...not holding her mistake over her head or throwing it in her face when you argue. You are going to have to learn to trust her again. Of course she's going to have to work to regain your trust & understand that she has hurt you & she has to be patient while you work through this.
It can be done...but it takes 2 to get it done. Mainly her though to mend what she has damaged but you have to let it go...really let it go...or it will be between the 2 of you forever!
On the other hand, if she's done it repetively, & is cold & heartless to how you feel about it, why bother? Let her go & you'll find out it's better to be without someone than to stay with them when all you get from them is disrespect & no concideration.
If she's not remorsful about hurting you...you don't need her!!! She'll keep doing it b/c you keep taking it.

Answer 10

It is beyond my capability to do so. My hat is off to you if you think you can and want to try. My suggestion would be to go to a marriage counselor and try to figure out why she has the need to do this, and if there is anything you can do to help her overcome it. Sounds to me like if she has had more than one, she has self esteem issues and needs the affairs to make her feel good about herself. It may have nothing to do with you at all.
Best wishes

Answer 11

You have to have affairs to - first: to get even, second to feel good about yourself, three equal relationship in marriage is very important. Have happy long life.
Remember any affairs can bring more fascination, spice and enjoyment into the marriage and keep it alive.