Would your feelings be hurt?

Question

I have moved to another state 2 - 3 hours away from my family and friends because my boyfriend wants me to be with him here. Because of his job he has to be here (he works for the New Olreans Saints) He works constantly, and I try to be respectful that he is hard working and tired when he does get home. He is always gone on the road for away games and works long hours. I have just recently finished my internship. I am currently in the process of getting a job at a nearby hospital. The problem is I am lonely, i know when I get a job it'll be diferent but. I have done things to the house (we just got a new house) inside and out, organized cabinets, run errands, go shopping, exercise basically whatever I can do to stay busy. Tonight he wanted to go to his friends house down the street. His friend, he and I all went to college together. john told me that his friends mom was over there, and i said well maybe I can go with you, and he replied no you weren't invited.no man bashing just advice

we've been together for 6 years, we know each other very well. He told me I wasn't invited because he didn't want me to come. It just hurt my feelings because I don't have any friends or family nearby except cousins that I never see.

This doesn't happen all the time, because he is always busy with work. I always let him hang with his friends when he wants. I just wanted to come because I need some social interaction, I don't care what the conversation is. Plus he lives on the same street. I could leave whenever I wanted or if he wanted to just hang with the guys, even though his mom was there visiting.
The ppoint was I thought it was very insensitive since I have been home alone

Answer 1

Yes they would definitely be hurt. My husband does this to me all the time. But the main thing is IT DOESN'T mean he doesn't love you. He just needs a bit of down time without his woman present, so he can REALLY relax. (yes, I know he can do that with you around, but the point is, that he doesn't)

Answer 2

I know how u feel as I went through the same problem, relocating 3 1/2 hours away from EVERYONE I knew. I have no family here, just a couple little friends and my boyfriends family. He acted like that with me also for the first while. He is now coming around with wanting me to go out with him and other people. Sometimes men just need a little alone time with the boys, its a guy thing. Some topics men talk about they do not feel comfortable talking about in front of there women. Nothing about other women just things as in sports, music, cars etc that they know us women would not be interested in hearing. U should just tell him that it hurt your feelings and make a day for just u and him to be alone together ( blockbuster nights and dinner are always good =). Would u want to bring your boyfriend with you during a night out with the girls? I am sure he loves u just needs his space sometimes. dont worry things will change they did for me.
Good Luck!!!

Answer 3

yes-- feelings would be hurt-- just because you would think he would to get youout of the house for awhile--- if he just wanted alone time with the guys and you never seem to have had a prob with that before than why did he not just tell you that he wanted to hang with the guys then??? You may need to find some friends of your own because if you have talked about you needing to get out and he can't suggest you just hanging with him a little while-- you will be on your own anyway-- one way or another! Try to communicate- or else you will be very lonely--

Answer 4

I have been in that boat. My husband used to work a lot. I was so lonely. Now that he does not, I am still lonely. I'm starting to think that it is me as a matter of fact I have learned that most of it is me. I have to develop my own life and not depend so much on my husband. When I started asking around for advice, I would hear things like "at least once a week or on once every other week, you guys should go on a date." Guess what, we were doing things sometimes twice a week. I had to go back and rethink my situation. If that is not the case, try joining a social club (like book club or bowling league) to help fulfill your need to socialize. If he is a good man, try to work with him.

Answer 5

I would be bothered. While it can be very annoying to have to justify yourself to another (especially if done all the time), I would ask politely for an explanation why he didn't want you to tag along.

I would not jump to any conclusions, but I think you are within your rights to ask why (based on what you have said). I would question his priorities. How important are you to him?

As a guy, I do like to hang out with my friends from time-to-time without a girlfriend. It may be a simple as that. But, I do realize that I need (and would want) to spend time with a girlfriend, too. Perhaps he is getting cold feet about the relationship and about taking the next steps?!?

Answer 6

Woman's intuition says there is a reason he doesn't want you to go. I would want to know who else was there besides the mom. If it's just the mom, why wouldn't he bring you along? As long as you get along with this friend it just doesn't make sense to me that you would not be invited. Yes, it would hurt my feelings but I'd find out everything I could about the situation.

Answer 7

yeah my feelings would be hurt simply because he got to know that you dont have anyone to socialize with and that youre lonely but then again, men dont seem to pick up on **** like that, my old man is alwys busy too (he plays poker) and sometimes i just need an outlet and he isnt there for me, i mean i wouldnt start a big fight or anything but i would let him know that i was lonely and if he still doesnt care, then find yourself some new friends and start ignoring some of his needs :)

Answer 8

It would seem that your boyfriend is taking you for granted. If he is as busy with his job as you say, then he should take advantage of his time away from work to spend with you. If the relationship is one sided...make yourself happy and leave.

Answer 9

my feelings would be hurt also. but you just moved with each other, therefore you 2 are getting to know one another. give it time to adjust. however, all 1 yr if you still aren't happy, move on.

Answer 10

i would start looking for signs that the relationship might be in need of some help sorry to have to say that