How can your Husband cheat on you when you are doing everything that you need to do and suppose to do ?

Question

I am a house wife with three kids.I never get a break at all.I'm always home with the kids and never gets to go any where or have free time.I love my kids and I'm in love with my husband who can't seem to stop cheating and lying.My world and my life revolves around only them.I cook,clean,take care of the kids,all of the business,and do any and everything I can to keep him happy.It seems like everything I do and say is not good enough for him.It's like he only have time for me when he wants to have sex.He is always gone,always complaining,and treats me like I'm his maid.He never spend time with the kids at all.I want to work but he don't want me to work.Everytime I get a job I get accused of messing with other men on the job or when ever I leave the house to take care of business.When he gets mad at me,he always tell me he pays all of the bills and that he feel that I have to respect what ever he say or do in so many words.But when he didn,t have any $ I took care of him and worked hard

Answer 1

OH MY SISTER U NEED A LIFE 4 U.YOU CAN RAISE UR CHILDERN BUT YOU CANT MAKE THEM UR LIFE THEY WILL LEAVE 2 HAVE THERE OWN ONE DAY. AS FAR AS UR HUSBAND, IF U DONT WONT 2 LEAVE, GET ON UR KNEES AND PRAY. NO MATTER WHAT U SHOULD HAVE SOMETHING IN UR LIFE JUST 4 U. I TELL U PERSONALLY I COULDNT GO THRU THAT.I WAS MARRIED 2 A GUY 10 YRS.NOTHING BUT HELL. WHEN I FINALLY GOT OUT, I ONLY WISH IVE LEFT SOONER.LIFE IS TO SHORT NOT 2 BE HAPPY. PLZ DO SOME SOUL SEARCHING TO MAKE SOME DECISIONS 4 UR LIFE JUST 4 U. GOD PUT U HERE FOR HIS PURPOSE NOT TO GO THRU ALL THAT.IF I WERE U I WOULD REALLY START PRAYING AND SEEKING GOD. I HOPE THINGS WORK OUT 4 U. YOU DESERVE THE BEST. MAY GOD BLESS U AND KEEP U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 2

There are a number of reasons a man will cheat on his mate, but there is only one reason he will not; he doesn't want to hurt her. Some men are driven by their ego, and try to score as often as possible. Some men cheat, because other women will do things their wive's won't. Some men cheat, not because they don't love their wife or don't find her attractive, but rather, simply because other women are attractive in different ways. Some men cheat, because they believe they can keep it a secret. Some men cheat, because they know they can get away with it; they'll take their punishment, say they're sorry, and it'll be to them as if it never happened. And some men cheat, because they just don't care if they lose what they have.

Personally, I'd get out of that relationship, but that does not seem to be what you want to do. So, try to find reasons to like what he is doing. It isn't easy to do this with a lover, but friends do it all the time; they're happy for their friend's joys in life.

One of the reasons he thinks you are cheating on him at places you have worked is because he knows how he acts, and how the women in some jobs act. Cheaters are frequently the ones to point the sharpest fingers.

Remind him that he pays all the bills, by his choice, that you'd get at least half of everything you two own, could get a job, and with the child support he'd have to pay; you could be living with a man that would treat you and your children right, and provide for even more income.

Answer 3

I'm sorry that you are having to deal with this, your husband doesn't know how lucky he is to have you as his wife. Its wrong of him to cheat and lie to you. I don't want to tell you to get a divorce, maybe a separation might be good so that your husband can what exactly he is missing once you are gone. Have you thought of marriage counseling? Or praying for your husband to turn his ways around. My husband went through the same thing with his ex-wife and just like you he was frustrated to the point that he got a divorce. You have that right to leave him and find man who will be more grateful to you but divorce is painful on everyone including your kids. I suggest that if you can't take it anymore, prepare yourself and your kids to leave the situation and find a new place to live. Talk with your parents and see if an arrangement can be made until something permanent comes up - I wish you all the best.

Answer 4

First and foremost u need to leave the situation! The problem with alot of women today is, they stay in a situation where they are not happy just because kids are involved. These are the wrong reasons. If u r not happy now and u havent been for a while u might not be happy until you leave the situation. I know that he is ur husband and three kids are involved but the last thing you want to do is let ur kids see u unhappy. Plus if u have girls u don't want them to grow up think its ok to let a man disrespect them. i know it is suppose to be for better of worse, but too many times is just disrepectful. he doesnt understand how he is making you feel or he doen't care. U really need to leave or you will end up depressed and feeling worthless and u dont need to be feeling like that with 3 kids.
Take care

Answer 5

This is emotional abuse and you should have a talk to him if you haven't. If this (talking) doesn't work then you should look into other options for you and your children. You do not need to continue to take the emotional abuse from your husband (it's not fair). Put your foot down and let him know exactly how you feel and what you are planning on doing. If you plan on looking for a job, let him know. Let him know you are going to work not to cheat or look for love but to have a income of your own. It appears that he tries to throw in your face that he works and pays all of the bills. Let him know that you are going to help solve the problem by getting a job to help with bills. He appears to be controlling since you stay at home. Apparently he is insecure because he is cheating and he thinks you will do the same if you find a job. Let him think all he wants. Don't sell yourself short. Love yourself, and enjoy life because it (life) is short. If he doesn't want to stay with the kids when you need some "me time", send them to a family member or friend's home for a few hours. Your mental and emotional health needs to be stronger for yourself and especially your kids. Your kids does not need to witness such behavior from their father. Your husband's behavior is unacceptable and definitely teaching the children the wrong thing. Be strong!

Answer 6

Because sometimes people are just unappreciative of what they have and don't realize what they've got until it's gone.
It sounds to me that you've taken care of this man for too long. If he is continuing to lie and cheat, you shouldn't stick around... sticking around makes him believe he has the power to do whatever he feels like doing while you're at home taking care of everything.
If you really want what is best for you, I would suggest leaving this man. He accuses you of cheating when you get a job because he is the cheater... you know that old saying, "The Guilty Accuses the Innocent" well it's true.
My final words to you is, don't stick around with someone who doesn't appreciate the hard work you put into having a happy family.
You and your children would be better off without him.

Answer 7

You cant feel like this has anything to do with you as a wife. Men and women cheat for totally different reasons, thats why we always feel like its our fault. Women cheat because we need attention and to feel loved, something our husbands usually dont give us when we cheat. Men cheating though, is not that in depth. Men cheat because it boosts their self esteem. It makes them fell like more of a man, and re-assures them they still have what it takes to be a man in other mens eyes. Logical or not, thats basically it. No matter what you do or how much you give him, it wont stop him. He needs to deal with some personal issues that obviously haunt him. I know its hard, my first husband cheated endlessly. I would have done anything for him because I didnt know this then. Its hard to hear, but I really dont believe men who cheat will stop. Maybe if you get him into couseling ( which Im not a real believer of) it might help. If I were you I would decide if I wanted to put up with it or cut my losses and find happiness elsewhere. Its hard, but thats what it comes down too. You cant make somebody love or respect you. And no matter what, you deserve both.....Good luck and Im sorry.

Answer 8

You are a mother ,house keeper, cook, dishwashers, a sex toy , now he doesn't want u to work, what the hell are you doing there girl. you need money as well so look for the going rates of the jobs you do already , the hrs you keep , the over time add all this up and give Mr dumb-a--- to pay u for services rendered or you are getting a job that does pay money and appreciates your work and enjoys having u there working

Answer 9

You need to do your duty while finding fulfillment on your own (and I'm not talking about cheating on him). For some reason he doesn't respect you. Maybe it's because you have no inner life of your own. Maybe you're too dependent on him. Show no interest whatsoever in him for some time and he'll wonder what's up. Continue to be a good person but detach from him in order to realize yourself. Happiness is an inside job. Best of everything to you!

Answer 10

Why have you given your personal power over to him?
Are you somehow mentally, physically or emotionally disabled that you are not able to make your own choices?
If you want a job, get one. If you want to stay home, stay home. If he has issues with that, he can take it up with his therapist. Make him understand, in a cool and calm manner, that you won't be bullied, lied to, manipulated or cheated on. If he can't deal with that, it is time to move out and get on with your life without him and his domineering ways. You don't have to have a big blowup about it. Just let him know how you will be conducting your life from now on, and if he has issues with it, you can discuss it with him in a calm and reasonable manner. But you will not be ordered about, manipulated or made to feel less than by him anymore.
Good luck