Is this normal to feel like that at times or is this a sign that I should run? He says that he would not leave. "'I’m stuck in a miserable marriage" is what he says. The hard part for me is that when we are not fighting things are cool. He tells me he loves me and we have good sex. Could he be faking this, or is it just his ego talking when we fight? The hurtful thing is that he seems very convincing when he says he loves me and when he says he does not.
2006-09-07 14:17:31 · 57 answers · asked by peace1274 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Eric understands. He wrote Ask yourself if things are likely to change in the relationship, and if they are not, you have but only two choices; stay where you are, and try to find the good about it, or move on with your life, and find someone that will treat you the way you want to be treated. But keep in mind; no relationship is perfect, and maybe the faults he has are not as bad as they could be in another relationship.
yes, other than the two or three times he has said this, things are good. He treats me well and provides for me and is kind to me. So that make it hard. I know people who say they love each other and do not have it like I have it. How important is love? Does a people hope from marriage to marriage on the fickelness of love?
2006-09-07 14:51:31 · update #1
divorce
2006-09-07 14:19:06 · answer #1 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If he was really that unhappy, he would leave you. It sounds to me that he is just saying this to hurt you when you are fighting etc. It's very immature on his part thought, not to mention hurtful to you. Does she show other signs of passive aggressive behavior....things like making you make a decision then getting upset with whatever you decide, or telling you things to make you doubt what you think or feel? He probably says these things because he knows it will get a reaction out of you and then you would stop arguing with him or whatever. He obviously feels threatened in some way or he would not lash out like this. What do you want at this point? If you want out, then by all means get out. If you dont, turn the tables on him. Next time he says he is stuck in a miserable marriage ask him if he wants you to get him unstuck. Is he controlling in other ways? Could this just be an attempt to get or keep the upper hand? Stand up for yourself. Hope it all works out OK.
2006-09-07 14:27:21 · answer #2 · answered by Willow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself if things are likely to change in the relationship, and if they are not, you have but only two choices; stay where you are, and try to find the good about it, or move on with your life, and find someone that will treat you the way you want to be treated. But keep in mind; no relationship is perfect, and maybe the faults he has are not as bad as they could be in another relationship.
2006-09-07 14:24:28 · answer #3 · answered by eric l 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's told you this several times you need to start believing him. His statement that he is 'stuck' in a miserable marriage sounds like one of two things
1) He is seriously depressed and unable to do something that would make him happy, i.e. Leave you.
2) He wants YOU to leave. Maybe its a moral thing with him, if you leave he won't feel guilty. maybe he is trying to hide some assets and feels he will be stronger if you bail out.
Personally, I'd dump the loser. Married couples fight, sure. But when you're married you fight fair. You just don't push certain buttons.
Rule # 1 in a bad marriage - be the FIRST to see a lawyer. Know ing what you can/can't do or can/can't say gives you enormous power. You don't have to use it to screw your soon to be ex, you can just use it to position yourself so you don't get screwed.
2006-09-07 14:25:35 · answer #4 · answered by glenbarrington 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do like every other woman does with marital problems.
1) Have a kid "to make things better"
2) Realize that the problems are still continuing.
3) Have a second kid, hoping that this time it will really do the trick.
4) Decide it's not working, and then get a divorce.
Are you kidding? Get a divorce NOW.
2006-09-07 14:21:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Darling, if you think that the relationship is salvageable, I would highly recomend counciling. If your husband loved you he would not say something that is so hurtful. Counseling may get to the root of the issue, or you may have to accept that he no longer wants to be in the relationship. Good behavior some of the time does not make up for the cruelty of the mind games he is playing here.
2006-09-07 14:20:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Asked yourself why you allowing him to say these stuff to you,it's because you have a low self esteem or it's the good sex.
Sex and love are two different things i do believe as a man he have the ability to have sex with you without loving you he's a man for Christ sake,hopefully that's not yr case he's simply a jerk
should you run or stay? you can only only make that decision yourself it's your life you decide how you want to live it and be treated
2006-09-07 14:31:53 · answer #7 · answered by jolie minouche 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life is too short to put up with mind games. You deserve better. Try talking to him and maybe seek professional help. If that does not work, think long and hard about your life. You deserved to be loved all the time. You deserve to be happy. It is not a bad thing being single if you need to be to be healthy. This unconsistancy could even lead to health problems-mental, emothional, etc. good luck!
2006-09-07 14:23:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would leave. If he is serious then he won't beg you to come back and you can get on with your life. Its not healthy to be having your emotions all up and down all the time. He can't seriously expect you to stay when he's saying he doesn't love you! Unless there is a marriage councilor involved, it will only get worse. Good luck :)
2006-09-07 14:22:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this sounds weird but...Is he a libra?
Sounds like a Libra....
I'm a libra and my husband is a libra and sometimes things get boring and we say things we dont mean. I've said that some times to my husband, but honestly, I do love him... more than anyone else in the world (at least until my daughter is born in 2 months...) sometimes things just get sooooo boring that I wonder if there is more excitement some where else..., but truely I do love him.... I can't explain WHY we say things we don't mean.
Good luck though.
2006-09-07 14:21:56 · answer #10 · answered by Ashley P 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You guys need to talk these things out together. If there are things that are bothering him he needs to feel that he has a safe place to talk to you and you need to feel like you have a safe place and can talk to him about anything too. People say hurtful things when they are angry but we all need to realize and say we are sorry and really mean it and forgive each other. Marriage is a journey of ups and downs. We are all imperfect people. Trusting one another is very important too.
2006-09-07 14:29:38 · answer #11 · answered by SunFun 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋