Okay, don't laugh..?

Question

For some time now my sexual drive has declined to the point where I honestly would be happy with out it. This has cause problems with my marriage. I have 3 kids and a stressful job but I am not sure exactly what the problem may be.
Does anyone have any ideas for any natural way to help this problem?

I do have a husband ,that is why I ask, we have issues because of it.

Answer 1

have your hormone levels tested. dont know where you live but you can get info about hormone consultation at cardinalpharmacy.com - look for a homeopathic doctor in your area, he or she will be more willing to look into natural causes and solutions, rather than just prescribe some pill or tell you to relax. read suzan sommers book, or search for related information.

Answer 2

let's see, a marriage, 3 kids, a stressful job.....sounds like a recipe for a low sex drive to me. i agree with a natural approach, so many doctors want to put a woman in your position on antidepressants, and a lot of them kill the libido altogether. do get a complete check up soon, though, just to rule out any underlying cause or illness (i.e. anemia, hormone imbalance to name a few) next, give yourself a break. you've got 3 full time jobs here, home, family, and an outside job, and there is only 1 of you, so don't feel so down about not wanting to have sex right now in your life. counseling might help you here, in that you are stretched SO thin that you need to regroup and prioritize....my husband and i have 3 kids as well, (all grown), a home, pets, bills, extended family, jobs, (i had 2!!) i even went back to school while my kids were young, while still working full time...and our marriage ended in divorce after the kids were gone, and while we were still young, as we married young. to make a very long story short we ended remarrying a few years later after we realized that we weren't making each other a priority during our 1st marriage, even though we loved each other very much. we got some counseling, and it helped. we have discovered that love and a good marriage are not about the flaming love making and that excitement of life when you were 1st married....sadly that dies out after awhile. in our case I was the most bummed. but it's really about keeping the low embers that burn long and strong. i know that you are not alone, and hope you find a solution to your problem soon by whatever means works for you...best of luck!!! (forgot to mention, try getting your hair, nails, and a pedicure done all in one day, lovely)

Answer 3

Melissa, nothing to laugh at, are you under any stress, either at work, with family, kids going back to school. All of these added life happenings can add stress which in turn cause your sex drive to slow, though you did not mention it in your question I imagine that you are also tired, in the middle of the day. If taking a vacation is not an option with the kids back in school, maybe if affordable visit a day spa for the afternoon, I visit one 3 times per year, it does wonders, a hot tub, full body massage, if not affordable take a long hot bath, a glass of wine if you like, try to relax, and de-stress. If it continues visit your Dr, and have your BP checked, I suffered from a bout of stress this spring and my BP was high, sex life low, always tired, now a few months later, sex is again wonderful BP is normal, and there is a smile on my face again. Tell your partner that you still love him and you are going to do everything you can to get back on the right track. I wish you luck.
All the best Claire

Answer 4

Your problem stems from three kids and a job and all the other day to day concerns . I say set aside some time for you and your husband at least once a month and make a date night . DATE NIGHT !!! just you and him get someone to stay over with the kids , or send them to Grandma's house { she will understand }
If you can remember back when you were dating , it probably didn't matter what you did , just that you did it together ! When you are more relaxed { both of you } all those feelings will come back .

Answer 5

"I have 3 kids and a stressful job but I am not sure exactly what the problem may be."

Seriously??? THAT is the problem! Try removing any stress that you can from your life. If you can afford to pay someone to do some of your errands - pay them! Anyone or anything that can help ease your burden will help you get your "groove back." Good Luck.

Answer 6

First understand that you are probably normal. Pressure does affect us in more ways than we'd like to acknowledge.
I think you should make time to see an experienced marriage counselor who'll go over certain aspects of your life and offer really useful suggestions.
You said nothing about a husband or partner. If you have one, it might be a good idea to take him along.

Answer 7

This is not a laughing matter. Maybe try to take a short vacation away from all of the stress and see if that helps, talk with your husband, maybe both of you could come up with some ways to ignite the flame.

Answer 8

Honestly, I think it's normal. With three kids and a job how could you be expected to then perform in bed willingly?!

However, I know there are some natural tablets for your libido made especially for women that you can get at a health food store or pharmacy.

Answer 9

You did not say if you were a baby boomer or not.. probably so.. At any rate, I ran across this web site and I think it is good and down the road of what you have been asking about.. I think you should go there rather than my synthesizing it and presenting it.. It is just too long to go into the detail that I think you want..

http://webcenter.health.webmd.netscape.com/content/Article/123/115250.htm?pagenumber=2

Answer 10

Do something erotic with a man. Be adventerous. Send the kids to their grandmas or to a friends and have your husband do you dirty all over the place and use sex toys.