Not just the porn that upsets me it is the lies. I like looking at porn. I just dont know why he has tolie about it. He also has a personals ad placed that he is looking for a date. I mean it is a alot of lies not just the one.
2006-09-07 13:57:41 · 17 answers · asked by stephanie_30101 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds like he's not a very good guy to keep around. I'd drop his *** if I were you. I don't mind the porn either. I don't think there's anything wrong about it so long as the guy isn't obsessing about it (he just watches a healthy amount of it) and it doesn't cut into our sex life. Porn and personal ads nothing alike though. Personal ads means he's looking to cheat. Whether he has or not is something I'm guessing you don't know. What's it matter though? He's trying to. Lose him.
2006-09-07 14:01:09 · answer #1 · answered by Olivia B 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he lies about porn, it's probably because he was made to feel ashamed of it when he was younger. So, tell him you like it. If you see him looking at porn, sit down and enjoy it with him.
On the personal ads, what you have there is cheating -- plain and simple. If you have children, I think you have to try to get past the infidelity -- one time. If he does it again, dump him.
People cheat because some need(s) they have are not met within the relationship. IMHO, generally, the need(s) are not sexual. However, once you start fulfilling your needs outside the marriage, you will turn away from the marriage and it can only get worse. Furthermore, cheating is a mean, disrespectful, hurtful, depressing, painful, debilitating experience for the other spouse. It just makes it even harder to fix things.
2006-09-07 14:06:59 · answer #2 · answered by Otis F 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
So... we all know the guy your married to isn't the greatest. I believe you were wondering when you should leave him. Well, he is going to keep on doing this until you make him see that it's not okay. If that means you have to leave him then well you have to. It's up to him weather he wants to stop this, but it's up to you to let him know that what he's doing is not okay with you. Oh yeah, and if you like looking at porn, try doing it with him spice up your sex life and maybe he won't want to look elsewhere, but no matter what he has to know that personal ads of that sort wont fly.
2006-09-07 14:09:14 · answer #3 · answered by esme_wolf 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What are you asking? A marriage built on lies, porn and secret dating is not going to be blessed by God.
Both of you need to put away/get rid of, the porn and the deceit and get some good therapy.
2006-09-07 14:02:37 · answer #4 · answered by mar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your husband/boyfriend has placed a personal ad looking for a date.....why in the world are you still with him?
Also lying means you can't trust him.
Both of these things point to a really big problem & you really need to get out now. You deserve a better life then this.
2006-09-07 14:31:48 · answer #5 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is definitely time for him to walk kick him to the curb while he stays at home looking 4 another person he is just using the home for a place to call home get him out and make sure u file for cruel and intentional abuse , talk to Dr as well he is going to make u go crazy if u can handle that fine but talk to Dr any how, it will help make your case , try and stay healthy so depression doest eat u up while u go through this aw full period in you life
2006-09-07 14:16:54 · answer #6 · answered by yvette b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your heart must be breaking. I hope you have supporting friends and family. If this a**hole won't go to counseling withing the week, go to a divorce attorney the next week. It will only get worse. You deserve much, much better! I too like porn sometimes. This man has fantasies you (nor anyone else) will ever be able to fill. Maybe he has already been to a hooker. I hope not. Safe sex until he straightens out.
2006-09-07 14:07:49 · answer #7 · answered by lollipop 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Looking at porn- no big deal. Placing an ad, to find a date IS a big deal. Personally, I'd consider that a deal breaker. If my spouse did that, she'd be my ex. I'd hope, and expect her to divorce ME, were I to start looking for women to date.
2006-09-07 14:08:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, if there are more issues, and he is placing personal adds, then talk to him, and see if he really wants to be there. 12 years is a long time to be together, and if he does not really want to be there, then waste no time in getting out, and filing for divorce. You never said if there are kids involved, but you need to think about them as well if there are. It is more of a what do you really want to do sort of thing, and we on here can't really give you any advice on what you want to do. If you are unhappy, you both deserve to be happy.. Good luck
2006-09-07 14:03:33 · answer #9 · answered by Just Me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, I would definetly confront him and speak up!
You know what would be interesting? If you replied to one of his ads with a false ID, then showed the print out to him. It sounds devious, but its all in the proof, all in the proof.
Besides, Im sure you are a wonderful, beautiful woman...why not place some ads and find someone special who is worth your presence?
2006-09-07 14:01:22 · answer #10 · answered by Shana 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋