Do you think pessimistic parents/family equals to pessimistic children?

Question

I read recently that if you grow up in a pessimistic family you will most likely turn into a pessimist.
The example given was:
A kid brings an average grade
Pessimistic family: "Is this all you can get? You should study more but you never study enough, you are lazy. I don't know what to do with you."
Optimistic family: "Can you imagine what would happend if you made your study into a fun thing instead of a chore? Not only you would like doing it but also you would come up with new ideas. That way you could achieve anything and if you need help I'm here."

So I wanted to see if it's true:
Myself: Pessimistic - My Family:Pessimistic

What about you?

Answer 1

I think that we are SO influenced by those that raise us, and oftentimes we don't even realize it. Kids look at their parents for ways to behave, and optimism/pessimism is really no different. I'm finding that I have a tendancy to overreact to little things, and can totally attribute that to my upbringing. If you're interested in the subject, there's a great book out there called "The Optimistic Child".

Answer 2

Not necessarily. My mom is a very pessimistic person, and she is also a control freak. I was always not good even, even though I got 90 marks in my tests and dictation. And if I have done something that is not wrong but is not according to her principles, I will get scolded to death.

Luckily, I have not grown to be too much like her. I am quite the opposite actually - a pass is good enough, as long as there is tomorrow things are gonna be fine, deadline is next week why bother starting to work.

But I have to admit, I still want her approval when I make decisions or do things. Perhaps this is the bonding between mother and children.

Answer 3

I think not. My mom is pretty pessimistic. She is always saying things like, "Why did you..?" or "You should have.." etc. and looking at the negative aspect of every situation.

I have a generally optimistic outlook - I always bounce back, therefore I sort of 'know' that I always WILL bounce back, no matter what happens. I am not a worrier, I rarely play devil's advocate. I always look more at the solution and less at the problem.

So...nope! On the other hand, I have three very optimistic children. Their dad is very pessimistic - always sees gloom and doom around every corner. You be the judge!

Answer 4

There are a lot of rebellious children. They don't want to be a copy of their parents.They are enough adventurous to try to find their genuine path through the Life.What they need is a bit of luck to meet a good person, book like Alfred Adler's What Life Could Mean to You? or any suggestion showing them how to come out of the magic circle (family customs,other standard teachings) of the humans spell.

Answer 5

My family esp my mum was always like 'you're not good enough' which has now led me to grow up and feel that in everything I do I could be better (even when I get top marks).

I need to break away from that which won't be easy, but I'm going to seek help in the form of CBT.

I have met people who have grown up in a positive loving environment and it shows in the way they behave. I have also met people who have grown up in a negative environment and that shows!

Answer 6

I think that if you are brought up with pessimistic parents, you will have pessimistic children. As a teacher I was amazed at my first parents evening to see the similarities of parents and their children - even if the children try to be different they end up very like their parents.

Answer 7

I absolutely agree - it's all in the parents' attitude, and parents don't realise the damage they do to their kids ... in your example the parents are putting the child off study altogether, whereas the optimistic parents are encouraging the child to think creatively about study in general, which would spill over into other things.

Answer 8

some times

Answer 9

Children learn what they live so this would hold true in theory. We cannot take the *nuture* out of any family equation of this sort and so yes pessimism breeds pessimists.

But if you wish to change this it is possble you know. It takes work to see the glass half full when you've lived seeing it half empty for so long.

If you wish to break out of this mould I wish you all the luck.

Answer 10

In most cases I would agree with you. It seems negativity is attracted to negativity. You usually are what your surroundings are. But there is always a but - If your lucky and I don't mean you personally, but in general, it just takes one person to change it all around and it comes from outside influences. A good teacher, a good friend, but one most be aware and have the insight into them selves in order to charge.