Please also state when you got married and how long you have been married for?? Thanks ;)
2006-09-07 12:24:55 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The lesson I've learned is that, to have a happy marriage, you have to have a partner you would choose as a friend if he wasn't your lover. Because let's face it, you are going to spend many hours together over the years and you won't be spending them all kissing and cuddling. So your partner has to be someone you want to spend time with for reasons other than sex!
The trouble with a lot of relationships is, when you fall madly in love it blinds you to your partner's flaws and incompatibilities. You'll be willing to make all kinds of sacrifices to make the relationship appear to work. But when the first flush wears off (and that can take a couple of years), the scales fall from your eyes and you start to miss the things you gave up. You may even find that you don't even like the person very much!
True love is not what you feel at the start of a relationship, it's what develops after the first heady infatuation has worn off, if you are truly well matched. It's a combination of liking, loving, respect, and a sense that you belong together.
In fact, for some people, the heady infatuation never happens. It didn't for me, with my husband. In fact there was so little chemistry when we first met, that I hesitated about agreeing to a second date. But there was something strange about the way I felt - that for the first time in my life, here was someone I could totally be myself with. Unlike most dates, I felt absolutely no need to put on my "best face" to impress him. So I agreed. And love developed, gradually. Not the starry-eyed love of the romance novels, but a slow-burning, steady love that grew and grew. That was two years ago and we married this year.
Oh, and to answer your question, I've had one marriage (17 years) and one long relationship (10 years) before.
2006-09-07 16:07:51 · answer #1 · answered by Kylie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Married 5 years. I think that when you find someone that knows the REAL you, the good, the bad and the really ugly and manages to bring out the best in you, and makes you want to be a better a person, then you have found a mate.
True love is being willing to accept faults, because no one is perfect. You must be good at letting some things go, because you can't fight about ever thing. A happy marriage must have two people that are on the same page and have the same goals.
2006-09-07 12:31:44 · answer #2 · answered by Victoria C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not married but as close as one can get without the paper. We have been living together for 9 years.
To me true love comes with true intimacy. We have absolutely no secrets from each other and we talk about everything. We laugh all the time and for me, that is the sign of a happy relationship.
Sure, we fight on occasions, but then its over and we are back to being who we are.
I was married previously. Together for 10 years, married for 6 of them. I thought it was love but now I know that it wasn't. I don't think I was ever myself through the entire relationship. We couldn't talk about many issues and because he didn't fight, nothing ever got resolved. It was this that tore us apart.
2006-09-07 12:34:05 · answer #3 · answered by sarah071267 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
:)) The "love" you describe is merely "romance" Easy when you are dating, minimal responsibilities, no children, both have time, both trying to seduce the other. You can keep that in marriage. It's just most people don't realize they merely wanted romance, not the reality of a family and marriage. The marriage only becomes more difficult when people are expecting the "romance" to keep itself up. The lust is for those who want neither commitment nor need romance. They just want to sleep with it on their terms and schedule. When they bore of it or if it starts feeling too much like a "relationship" or hassle they'll be out of there.
2016-03-27 02:02:21 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-04-21 10:07:24 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got married in '93 that was 13 years ago. I have a very strong marriage and let me tell you it does take work. but it is full of a lot of compassion for each other, respect, communication. trust, love , these are just a few to mention. faithful is i Hugh one as well . WE truly feel we are soul mates. we have our share of things to work out, now and then, we aren't perfect. I don't believe
any marriage is. you will have your ups and downs. we agree we will disagree and still agree to respect the others opinion. having this type of marriage to me is what true love is about. combination of all the feelings. I know it just works for us, God willing it will last for the rest of our days together.
2006-09-07 12:46:52 · answer #6 · answered by RAINBOW 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been with my hubby for 11 yrs and married 8. We are both young so it is hard. I believe we have true love cause we are still strong in the relationship. It is very hard work though to stay married it is to easy to walk away. Lots of talking and there is no such thing as easy marriage it takes work and consideration.
2006-09-07 12:31:13 · answer #7 · answered by 2strongfor2long 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
True love is when you KNOW you would die in place of the one you're married to!
My husband and I met on Yahoo Personals just over 5 yrs ago..when we started dating...WE BOTH KNEW THE OTHER WAS OUR SOUL MATE!!! He answered my ad on June 26th...our first DATE was on July 1st..and we've been together since...We have our problems..and we yell and get angry at the other,,,we say things we don't mean..9 out of 10 times..HE calls me and apologizes first...We've worked together through the best of times...and have held on tight to each other through the worst of them...THAT'S WHAT A HAPPY MARRIAGE IS...KNOWING YOU MARRIED YOUR VERY BEST FRIEND!!
WE also don't lie to each other NOR do we keep anything from the other...
We were both married to complete A-holes and when we met...we KNEW the other one had already been to HELL AND BACK..so we just grew into love and respect for each other..we'll be married 4 yrs on December 21st...(his divorce from his 1st wife was Dec. 13th...he would have married me THAT day...but I thought it was TACKY!! LOL)
2006-09-07 13:05:57 · answer #8 · answered by just me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Married 06/05/04, dated two years before marrying. My second, his first marriage.
True love was finding my other half- the one that completes what I lack and emphasizes what is good about me.
Happy marriage is working each day to remember why I love and need him, and to remind him of that too.
2006-09-07 14:05:49 · answer #9 · answered by BuffyFromGP 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was married for almost 17 years after knowing my ex for nearly 6 weeks. It was hot. Love is a choice to be self less NOT selfish. We nearly made it...one bad decision can be enough to destroy a marriage. A sad story...but even now I don't hate him. I am sad we lost our potential for greatness. It is OK, to protect your marriage, and to fight for it. To really be there and KNOW each other.
2006-09-07 12:31:59 · answer #10 · answered by Marilyn C 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋