I work hard and make a good living. I take her places, buy gifts but nothing's enough. She's always grumpy and faults me for everything. She thinks I'm cheating but have never since we've been together and I've told her so. But wifey mistrusts and I don't know why? It's getting to where I can't stand to be around her. Sometimes she doesn't speak to me for days and I haven't a clue why. Life's too short for BS and I'm (seriuosly) thinking of leaving her. Maybe this is a sign there's someone (much) better for me somewhere else. Any advice?
2006-09-07 12:21:13 · 23 answers · asked by Nash M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you oviously love this woman alot or you wouldnt have stayed with her like this for so long unhappy. if you two cant talk to work out your problems and you dont understand why she is being so hateful to you then i honestly think its her that is the problem, and she oviously has some issues. it sounds like you are really good to her and treat her like any good husband would, but nothing you do will ever be good enough to keep her happy. also she isnt really giving you a chance to make her happy no matter how hard you try. its impossible for one person to make a relationship work all by themselves. especially when there is no trust in your relationship from her in return. she gives you very little credit as being the good guy that you are, and thats abusive and not fair to have to live with the rest of you life. it sounds like you have already waisted too much time already on this woman. she has oviously turned out to be someone you totally didnt know she was like in the beginning, and now you feel like its too late to break it off since you two are married, but its not too late. and you owe it to yourself to save your own life and leave her, so that maybe you can spend the rest of your life with your real soul mate, that will love you back just as much as you love them, and someone that will do for you as much as you do for them. it has to be a two way street, other wise your waisting your time, no matter how hard you try to love someone....you cant make her love you, you cant make her be good to you, you cant buy her enough things or do enough for her to ever please her if she isnt already happy with you right now. she just has issues. and its probably bigger than you and me could figure out or fix. you cant fix her. you cant do much but walk away now, with what little self asteem and self love you still have left, unless she has taken that too. dont let her bring you down. the rest of your life you will be so unhappy you will wish you were dead instead of married. its best that you just break this off now, before it goes on any longer and any more damage is done. shes no good for you as you can see. she isnt right for you oviously. you diserve so much better, you owe that much to yourself in life. be smart enough to get out now. dont waist another day or another dollar or anymore energy on this wicked woman. shes just doesnt diserve you......no matter how pretty or how wonderful she once looked to you....or how in love you once were......
doesnt she look aweful ugly now that you know her true capabilties and her true personality, and how aweful she can treat you......its only going to get worse as the years pass by too. and then someday you will be too old and too much of your life will be tied up with her and you will feel too low and miserable to even try to meet your real soul mate and start over and have a happy wonderful life....the american dream you were going after here with the wrong person. its totally okay, we all make these mistakes and we all date or marry the wrong people once or twice until we meet the right one......"the one" so to speak. then it all makes sense suddenly and your world will start to change for the better not the worse as it has here.
this will be hard, but trust me, it will be alot harder in the long run if you stay with this woman. every day you wake up next to her treating you like this is going to get harder and harder and you will eventually have less and less to look forward to in life as you watch all your dreams and plans start to go down the drain before your eyes. you will eventually give up trying and become depressed in this situation. trust your gut feeling, trust your self love and your heart and let her go. shes only hurting you. take up for yourself. tell her to hit the road, no one needs a woman like that in there lives. let some other guy be the fool that falls for her trap and puts up with her bullshit. you could be happier with your true soul mate on another honey moon in less than two years if you can grit your teeth and get through this now. remember nothing else is important but getting it over with and said and done. if you lose your house to her, fine. if you have to pay her alamony, fine. if you have to give up your favorite pillow or your favorite piece of furniture, fine.....
all that stuff means little compaired to the rest of your life you could spend truly happy with someone else. and do it while your still young!
good luck sweetie, god i hope that you leave that woman and meet the girl of your dreams soon. i pray that all works out well for you. but i know how women like that are, and everyone knows they are a dime a dozen and not worth your time at all. you just have to live and learn....and get past this. but you can do this, and you will do just fine. you will find the strength when you need it. just remember its come down to protecting your happiness and your time and "you".......or her. which do you chose?
please be strong and make the right decision. its ovious what you need to do. god bless.
2006-09-07 17:36:56 · answer #1 · answered by succubus_angel_666_777 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
for those who answered this and said he should stay with her no matter how bad it gets.Question have you ever broken up in a relationship ? Why was it . Even if you were unhappy you should of just styed and be unhappy . Thats what your telling this guy to do ! By what he is saying it seems like he has tried and it does not make her happy ! I found out sometimes those who are suspicious of cheaters are usually the ones who would cheat themselves. LIFE is short if you have made all attempts and have tried discussing your feelling with her and she still is not willing to try ...my answer is it takes two to try to make a relationship happy .maybe try seperatting and see if that gives her a change of heart .Sometimes absence makes the heart grow founder ...if it does not you know it was nt meant ot be
2006-09-07 19:30:00 · answer #2 · answered by just me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she's the one having the affair, She has a guilty conscience and Its trying to make you feel bad so she won't have to. You're right, life is too short and you don't have to put up with that bs. Why don't you treat her the way she has been treating you. If she still acts the same way. I think its time to hang it up and find someone new.
2006-09-07 19:28:37 · answer #3 · answered by urhomiesid 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you both set down and calmly and loving with respect for the other and talked for hours to clear the air? communication is a must. I don't know her age, but I went through a ruff patch and emotional. I saw a Doctor. I knew it wasn't me. Turned out to be my thyroid, which was out of whack, so be more understanding. it could be physical. I don't think running from one marriage without giving every possible thing to try and save the marriage. have you discussed counseling? I hope all works out for the both of you. good luck and best wishes. the only sign that there is someone better out there for you is your possibly looking.
2006-09-07 19:57:19 · answer #4 · answered by RAINBOW 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a friend in the same shoes as you are in now. I will tell you just like I told him, don't leave until you have tried everything you know to make it work. Exhaust all possibilities. Don't give up unless you know you have tried to make it work. Do you think she will be up for counseling? You are right life is too short to be unhappy, but for the sake of your family exhaust all possibilities. GOOD LUCK!!
2006-09-07 19:36:59 · answer #5 · answered by nattabomb 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really can't stand it anymore then leave her, but please realize that getting a divorce isn't easy either. The divorce is going to cost large amounts of money, plus heart ache, annoyance, stress, dealing with lawyers... ever thought of alimony? The list could continue for ages. You just have to decide which is worse, but at least with divorce there is light at the end of the tunnel. I'm going through the same thing right now. I've decided divorce is right for me but you are the only one that can decide that for you. Good Luck!
2006-09-07 19:35:30 · answer #6 · answered by summer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing I could say would be if possible.... Put in a hidden video cam in your house. Record her every time you think she is treating you like sheat. Then when you have about two hours of film..... Show it to her. See what she thinks and acts like after that and if nothing changes....Make an ultimatum. Either she changes or you leave. That's about all I could say for you. I hope it helps.
2006-09-07 19:26:43 · answer #7 · answered by USMCstingray 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call me crazy - when you get accused with no explanation or evidence as to why...usually the accuser is cheating and is looking for something to make them seem or feel less guilty. Grumpy, faults you for everything....I'm guessing she has no respect for you either. If that is the case, then it's time to get out. You sound like me 5 years ago. I wish I hadn't wasted the previous 5 kissin' butt and feeling guilty because she wasn't happy. SCREW THAT!!
2006-09-07 19:32:58 · answer #8 · answered by johnnydean86 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you love her i think you should try to work it out. since you have and it didnt work use a new method, try a mediator, someone you both trust and care for their opinion. ask around more before you leave her if you choose to do so because a burnt bridge is hard to cross in the future. but never give up on someone because you believe they dont love you. make your decisions on the way that you feel. in relationships sometimes you need your logic as well as your heart though. if you listen to both you have to decide which one is best if they collide with one another. follow your heart with open ears to your head!!!
2006-09-07 19:27:45 · answer #9 · answered by yellowishwhiteoppa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i couldn't live in a house that has a lot of turmoil in it and if i was you i would set her down and ask her what the problem is and tell her if she can't treat me like a human being then i am out the door or make her hit the road and that's what i would do.
2006-09-07 19:26:17 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is sorry to hear that , I really know that you are so love your wife .anyway the relationship is not so good than before, how about starting again .and find out where and what is wrong.
my suggest is that it is better to find a good counselor with your wife together.face the fact and solve together.
2006-09-07 19:32:24 · answer #11 · answered by kaku j 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋