My sister in law just had a baby. She’s 28 and living back home with Mom. She doesn’t work, actually refuses to work, and is on welfare with a four-year degree. I have three children ranging from 5 to 13. I’ve that she stays in her room, locked up with the new baby because she doesn’t want the baby around my kids, noise, germs, etc. My family came to visit my husband’s mother and of course she never came out of her room the entire time we were there (4 hours). I asked my husband to go see if she’d let him hold the baby so we could see her. She told him the baby was sleeping. 10 min later I was speaking with his mother and told her that I wanted to see the baby, so mom went into the room to get the baby. Mom brought the baby to the kids and me. We played with the baby, took turns holding her and after about ten minutes of interacting, I brought the baby back in the room to the mother. She was PISSED. My question is, what should I do? Should I ask her what her problem is?
2006-09-07 11:55:52 · 12 answers · asked by Lola 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
fear of kids, germs, noise, etc...It almost sounds like there is something else going on that is a bit more serious. Sometimes post-partum depression (it can last a long time) can take a psychotic or sort-of psychotic tone - if she is this paranoid, angry, isolative, I think it's time Mom got her some professional help. If she refuses suggest notifying child protective services - the child is going to be the one injured by this behavior the most.
2006-09-07 11:59:51 · answer #1 · answered by LisaT 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No. Let her be. Do you remember how it felt with your first child? I have three and I didn't want anyone to hold them right away, either. First time moms are usually very protective. Why is it such a big deal to you is the real question... it seems you two have other underlying issues to resolve at some later time (not when she is recovering from child birth).
I mention this because you felt the need to comment on her age, living arrangement, education level, etc. and I sense that you don't really like her or respect her. If you know she doesn't want to hand over the baby to you, why did you send your husband and then your mother-in-law in to do your bidding? Since you know her feelings and you did this anyway, I think it is a power struggle and you were out of line. No wonder she was "PISSED" as you put it. You basically took her child and exposed it to things she didn't give you permission to expose it to. If someone did that with one of your babies, how would you react? Quit creating issues with this woman and let her come to you when she is ready. If she doesn't, forget about it and get on with your life.
2006-09-07 12:07:47 · answer #2 · answered by hrh_gracee 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think that you should ask her what is the problem. She could be upset with you or she could be an over-protective mother.But to ease the tension, you really need to speak with her so that the tenison does not continue to build to a point where you no longer want to interact with her or the child. Not mention that this situation is probably causing issues with the other family members. And from the negative way that you describe her you are angry with her. It is not a good idea to bad talk people if you are trying to resolve an issue and salvage a relationship
2006-09-07 12:01:18 · answer #3 · answered by cuteGIRL01 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would definitely ask her what her problem is but watch your tone you don't want to start an arguement and wake the baby. its not about you not knowing how to take care of a child bc you already have 3 but she is probably jealous and using the baby as a way to keep her control.
2006-09-07 12:01:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
confident, the youngster maximum truthfully needs to examine some manners and administration. i do in comparison to very strict mom and dad and belive that childrens could be loose to precise themselves and play yet as much as a factor and counting on their environment. concern is that maximum babies and oldsters I see in recent times act precisely as your nephew and SIL. the sorrowful actuality is which you won't have the ability to intervene with somebody else's newborn. even although you could act out of concern for the different individual's newborn, they discover it insulting, till of direction they placed your guy or woman babies in possibility wherein case i might bloody properly tell them off.
2016-10-14 10:40:55 · answer #5 · answered by Erika 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well maybe she is just being over protective. Just leave her 2 what she's doing 2 with her child. if she doesn't want u to hold it or n e thing then respect what she wants. that's all u really can do
2006-09-07 12:00:22 · answer #6 · answered by wildcat 4 lyfe! 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
as bad as it might sound tell her off if thats ur crib tell her to go!! shes trying to use the baby against yous dont ask to see the baby or look at the baby if she comes out that will teach her!!! everyone needs help ,her time will come too! or just be straight up tell her whats her problem ,if ur her problem and ur kids get out or she goes???dont kiss asss thats what she wants
2006-09-07 12:00:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
she may have post partum problems so be easy but express to her that u all are family and want to help and love the baby and that she is not the only one to love the baby
2006-09-07 12:00:08 · answer #8 · answered by nena5271 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well maybe that is just her. when I had my son I really didn't want anyone else to hold him not even my husband so maybe it's just a phase she is going through I would wait it out
2006-09-07 12:01:45 · answer #9 · answered by ~Ms Eli~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wel if this is her first kid she prob. is attcched and overprotective, dont worry as times passes hopefully it will be better, at least she loves her baby
2006-09-07 12:18:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋