today was my little girls birthday and due to the fact that me and my wife are seperated awaiting divorce I asked if I could spend some quality time with my daughter and she said yes I will come and pick you up ! after getting there I got to spend about 30 to 40 mins with my daughter due to the fact that in a round about way she told me I had to go because she wanted to mingle with the next door neighbours who were in my eyes a major contributor to us breaking up, I was and still am destroyed my daughter will never be 4 again.. how can I shrug the hurt I am feeling,
2006-09-07 11:32:53 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
you don't. This is just a situation you have to learn to live with...I presume you had a daughter when you separated... You must have known this could happen...Hang in there and as your daughter gets older she will make her own decisions...Good luck, but my sympathies are with your daughter...she lost her family...So sorry, but just being honest...
2006-09-07 13:01:12 · answer #1 · answered by Jackie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A woman scorned will always remain so and you are alas still a victim here. But your wife is hurting too, remember that ... no one is perfect and every breakdown is six of one and half a dozen of the other. You can heal the hurt by true acceptance of the situation ...... remain strong and a good man in your daughter's eyes and her love will remain and even grow ... you will always be her dad. Make the most of what time you can get with her now ..... she will not be a child for long. I look back at pics of my kids when they were that age and it is almost a forgotten memory ... so make the most of what you can get. And forget the neighbours ..... create a new life elsewhere ... you can do it ... just make sure that your little girl fits in to that new life as much as possible. I wish you well ...
2006-09-07 11:42:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't dismiss the hurt, but know that your daughter realizes that you wanted to be there with her. You may think she is too young to know or remember, but my granddaughters have surprised me with the things they recall that we did when they were only 2 or 3. They are 13 and 18 now.
Spend the time you can with her and make it special. Whether it is just a walk in a park enjoying the beauty around you, having an ice cream cone together or if she gets to spend vacations or weekends, make it about something you both enjoy.
Teach her new things: to fish, garden, build a model airplane. Share your interests with her: bowling, tennis, astronomy - whatever. It gives you more to share.
Talk to her, about her and her life and make her know you are always there for her. Don't quiz her about Mommy and what she is doing. If she wants to tell you, she will. Above all, bite your tongue and be nice to mommy. She will see that and know that you are special.
Make the time together about the two of you and building a relationship. In the long run she will recall the good times, and as she gets older will realize the games her mother is playing and will love you all the more for being there for her.
I promise!
2006-09-07 11:56:13 · answer #3 · answered by momkat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remind yourself that you put the differences aside with your ex to go & spend time with our daughter on her birthday, she will remember this more than the next door neighbours coming round in the future.
Just tell her the truth when she is old enough to understand & never give up the right to see her.
You could also make sure that she spends her 5th birthday at your place?
2006-09-07 12:02:30 · answer #4 · answered by Raych C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do understand your hurt feelings. I think try to spend special part with your daughter somewhere else, at your own place or somewhere away in a park or nice children friendly place. Try and make a arrangement with your ex that you take your daughter for certain period of time. few hours or days.
Keep a diplomatic relation with your ex so that you can give your daughter a good life, good father hood, good future. That is life. Everything has a consequence in this life.
2006-09-07 11:52:45 · answer #5 · answered by dotab 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel you.
It is hard. But as men we must swallow much. Be there for that baby and never stop. I missed ages 4 ,5,6,and 7 due to my ex's confusion and absent minded ness however instead of turning into a monster I waited and got a lawyer. You should make sure you have the tim eyou need to have a relationship with your daughter
My heart goes out to you. Be strong it will all work out in the end.
2006-09-07 11:35:08 · answer #6 · answered by Xae 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can apply for custody or atleast some time when you get to see her. You daughter will never be 4 again no, but when she grows up you can tell her how much hurt you feel at this time. Begin to make a diary, whenever you feel hurt or angry, write it down, then if your daughter ever questions your feelings for her you can dig that out and show her how her mother wouldn't let you even stay for an hour. I hope you hae a quick and easy divorce, and please do apply for custody.
2006-09-07 11:37:38 · answer #7 · answered by susanradford18 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't I am sorry. You should go to court and petition for a set of rules for visitaton. Half a day on birthdays Christmas day or eve. You need to be there for you daughter. DO NOT let your wife come between that. She needs to know you love her and will be there for her. No one can replace a daddy's love and many girls who have no fathers turn to other men to get that love. Don't give up on her.
2006-09-07 11:39:14 · answer #8 · answered by lunitari601 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well iam a teenager myself in if I was on your doughter's place I would have hated you if you gave up trying to fix things...so dont give up, Iam sure she still loves you the problem is that kids love the most the people that they spend the most time with....so I guess that you should make like a schedual or something, so you can see her more often...its really sad and heartbreaking you should spend more time with her and maybe talk to her and tell her how much you love her, she will apreciate it I am sure.....good luck ...and dont give up ...she needs you!!!!!!
2006-09-07 11:47:44 · answer #9 · answered by coldbloodedchick 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all happy Birthday to your little girl. It's my little boy's birthday today too.
I am sure she was just happy to spend some time with you. Sounds like you're a good Dad. I am sure things will get easier with time. Hang in there, and stay close to your little girl no matter how you feel about her Mom.
2006-09-07 11:37:14 · answer #10 · answered by Emilyclair 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋