Ok so i multi... but i can only do it.... if i really really want to be with that person.. i have 3 men i am sexually active with.. and one is my favorite.. i can only do it with him now.. i used to be able to do it with all three.. the other 2 noticed that i dont do it anymore.. can i have some control with this?
2006-09-07 11:17:56 · 13 answers · asked by misskaykai 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Interesting question... Years ago I had a good friend (close enough to talk about our sex lives, not close enough to have one together) who was only ever able to have orgasm during intercourse with one man. She could have them any time through other stimulation, but only the one guy made it work for her. (I comforted her through her breakup with him, and was happy to learn that a couple years later she found someone to "break the spell," so to speak.)
And in my narrow but deep experience (comparatively few women but LOTS of sex), women tend to have a much more psychological component to their orgasms than do men. There's a GREAT line in "A Prayer for Owen Meany" that says, "Even somebody you hate can give you a hardon." With women, it's more common that the relationship, as much as the technique, is responsible for orgasmic response.
In my own experiences learning to be a multi-orgasmic male, it's all in the technique -- though I don't have the opportunity for comparison that you do, as I'm in a long-term monogamous relationship (oh, right, like I'm going to cheat on a woman who knows how to give me multiple orgasms :-). Specifically, for me it's all in the prep -- and write back (or look up my other answers) if you want to get some ideas on how to GIVE them as well as GET them. And as long as the preparation is right, I can keep climaxing till I beg her to stop (or till I decide to stop, if I'm "driving," so to speak). It's like a recipe -- if she does this, this and this, you'd better put down a towel. And we got to this reliable state by carefully paying attention to what she does, what works for me, and what makes it all happen.
So I'm hoping that, like me, you may be able to find out what it is that crosses the line for you. It's probably a combination of personal attraction for your favorite, mixed with a little bit of technique. I can't help with the attraction, but the technique, at least, you can discover and teach others.
Anyway, I'm guessing that at least in part, it's because the guy you say is your favorite gets you more excited before the Big Moment (or in this case, moments) -- either explicitly, by doing things that he knows light you up, or subconsciously, because you've learned that he can give you multiples. It's quite possible that for you two, foreplay, in a very real sense, begins hours before the two of you are even in the same room. You have probably "learned" to put yourself in a heightened state of arousal when Mr. Fave is on his way over to your place. The good news? This is something YOU are doing, not something HE is doing. And this means you can learn to do it any time -- with enough practice.
And then there's what happens when you get together. Think about what's different between your "favorite" and the other two. Concentrate on separating exciting things he DOES -- or things that YOU do -- from exciting things that he IS, if that makes sense. See if there's a particular hip movement, a particular rhythm or angle, a particular type of foreplay that he's doing that the other guys aren't. It can be tough to pay attention while all that steamy goodness is going on, but it sounds like it's worth your while.
If you can determine some of the things he does that are just plain different from what the other guys do, see if you can work them into the mix with your other guys (present or future). You probably shouldn't say, "Hey, this other guy gets me off when he sucks my toes, why don't you, you creep?" Though they're going to know... thinking back to my not-yet-committed days, it doesn't matter how casually you say "Sweetie, I was thinking about having sex with you while I was having sushi at lunch today, and I had this idea, do you think you could take your tongue and...?" They ALWAYS know you picked it up somewhere else. The trick is to find guys who are mature enough not to mind.
And if all else fails, you could just decide that Guy #1 is your Own True Love and leave it at that. It's a lot of fun to have multiple sex partners (well, one at a time -- I've never had more than one in the same room with me, no matter HOW many times I begged! :-), but it's also very rewarding to have a deep, long-term, and HIGHLY satisfying relationship with one person. There's a lot to be said for knowing you can count on somebody no matter what -- whether you're talking about a multiple orgasm or a ride to the hospital. Different needs for a different time of life... but don't dismiss it out of hand. And take it from me -- if you have to pick one person, having it be someone who can give you multiple orgasms ROCKS.
All the best, and let us know how things turn out!
2006-09-07 13:03:55 · answer #1 · answered by Scott F 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all screw all these people who are trying to tell u how many people its acceptable to sleep with. Its your life and its your only one so do what makes u happy and have fun. Secondly to answer your question I honestly think its a mental thing and the other 2 arent as exciting to you anymore. I doubt that it can be controlled
2006-09-07 18:26:07 · answer #2 · answered by tranquilized_inaz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Huh...well, maybe the other 2 don't trip the triggers as well anymore. The only way I can think of to control it, is to control more of the action. That way, they do the things that work for you...
2006-09-07 18:21:17 · answer #3 · answered by longhair140 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am very muti- orgasmic. The second day after i meet my soon to be husband ( in a month) He gave me 20 orgasms in 20 min and that was with his tongue and his hands. And what he did and does with his hard part XXX. I think you should only have one and be happy. I love orgasms they are so yummy. I love you K.B
2006-09-07 18:38:22 · answer #4 · answered by Mimi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your feelings must be getting stronger for this one man & weaker for the other 2. You have more of a connection & attraction with your 'favorite'.
2006-09-08 06:15:48 · answer #5 · answered by paigenstuff 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like it is related to your emotional attachment to the person. Hard to fake or control how you feel inside.
2006-09-07 18:20:29 · answer #6 · answered by Cary Grant 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simple solution: Dump the other two and get with the guy that turns you on most.
2006-09-08 10:24:45 · answer #7 · answered by Bedroom Celebrity 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think you can control that. But um... just stick to one so that you are not considered a ho or something. And i am not saying that you are one, but um... get that sraight.
2006-09-07 18:20:46 · answer #8 · answered by jigglet92 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
S lut. Stick with the guy that gets you off.
2006-09-07 18:21:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ur having sex w/ 3 ppl at the same time??????Ahhhhhh........Grosssssssssssssssssssssssss
2006-09-07 18:20:23 · answer #10 · answered by tha gurl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋