My boyfriend comes back home from an out of state college with a hickie on his neck. He says that his male buddy was messing around with a vacuum cleaner hose and put it there. The hickie was not even round. He says that he would never cheat on me. I want to believe him. He also had his cell cut off the whole time he was with me. He says that I am making a big deal and I need to trust him. How can I trust him if he comes back with that. He get text messages from girls and claims that other peole have given out his number. He got a text message from someone and i asked him about it and he said that he didn't know, but he ended up deleting it. He also told me that if we go out clubbing then it is okay for me to dance with a guy and for the guy to buy me a drink. Why would my boyfriend say that it is okay for a male to buy me a drink if he is standing there. RIght now I do not belive anything that he says. What should I do or say to get the truth and see what is going on?
2006-09-07 11:17:12 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Sounds like you are being played. How much more evidence do you need to break up with this guy and go find one that won't treat you this way? Don't you think you deserve better?
2006-09-07 11:19:20 · answer #1 · answered by swtz69drmz 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am telling you the following based on experience back when I was in college. Do you know that cheesy song "When a Man Loves a Woman"? Well, listen to it because the lyrics ring true. A man who loves a woman (and who is faithful to her) does not say things like that she's making a big deal when she has a real concern... and in this case with proof to back it up! I really don't think that anyone in the history of the world has actually gotten a hickie from a vacuum. That's just an excuse. This guy isn't too slick. There's a lot of evidence against him, and it sounds like deep down inside, you know the truth, that he is cheating. My advice would be rather than to find out "for sure" if he's cheating, check other signs. For example, how does he treat his mother and/or sisters? This is a classic clue about how he respects (or fails to respect) women, and how he treats his mother is how he is going to treat his wife. Follow your gut instincts because they will not mislead you. I once caught a boyfriend whom I'd suspected of cheating (again, my gut instinct was spot-on) leaving me a voice mail message saying how much he loved me. What he didn't realize is that in the background before he hung up, his roommate asked, "Who was that?" WHO WAS THAT?! Right then I knew I was not the only one. It was hard, but from that point I resolved to dump him, which I did, and put myself first. Listen to Madonna's old '80s song "Express Yourself" and don't go for second best; put your love to the test. If he fails, then he is not worthy of you. This is all about self-esteeem. Honey, there is no man worth compromising your self-esteem!!! So, ditch this guy and do not look back. Reaffirm every day that you are better than to be treated that way; hang with your girlfriends for emotional support; stay true to yourself and never go back. You will find Mr. Right and enjoy a loving, healthy relationship one day if you first learn to love and respect yourself. Good luck! Trust me on all this because I have lived it and learned.
2006-09-07 18:27:07 · answer #2 · answered by nido_tr3s 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to tell you this but you don't need to ask any more questions...he is definitely not being straight up with you and
does not really care about you....so I'd advise to dump him
asap or next time you see him turn off your phone, flirt with and
go ask the best looking guy in the bar you go to with him
a guy if he'll buy you a drink and definitely have a hickey on
your neck that you claim came from your curling iron....
seriously....move on there's someone out there who won't
treat you badly and will love you
2006-09-07 18:24:47 · answer #3 · answered by ljean 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you have some of the signs already, firstly the hickie on the neck, secondly the mobile phone, thirdly letting other guys dance with you and buy you drinks, it sounds like he is trying to get rid of you in a roundabout way. trust your gut instincts it is usually right for women. Im having the same trouble when my partner was away last wk with a woman up the rd the same wk the same place, now she has introduced herself to me? cmon what is goin on here? even though my partner has denied an affair, I find it very hard to belief at the moment esp. when they both are acting differently and they are signs too.
2006-09-07 18:23:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
has he eer cheated on someone before?? once a cheater always a cheater! sometimes they change but not often! i would say get ride of the loser be for he hurts you really bad! your better then that! get a guy you can trust fully! and that you don't have to worry bout and a guy that will stick up for you if over the stupiest things! and that will let you read his messages and that isn't that immature to play with a vacum (if that is even true which is probaly not) just get ride of him before you walk in on him or you are more attached to him! the longer you wait the harder it will be! good luck! and i am sorry that your bf is a d*ck you deserve better!
2006-09-07 18:24:44 · answer #5 · answered by bballgurlie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the hicky IS a reason for suspecting him.
After some very hard questioning of myself along these lines, I decided that you have to make sure that he is honest with you, in all things. Ask him som ehard questions, if he gives you honest heartfelt answers, then you can trust more. If he doesn't , trust less. Ask him if he is interested in looking at other women maybe. All men are. See if he lies to you.
2006-09-07 18:21:19 · answer #6 · answered by kurticus1024 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, the vaccum cleaner bit is officially the lamest excuse I've ever heard. You already know that he's messing around - c'mon, you can't possibly be so naive as to buy into his lines. "Accusing" him of anything won't make a difference - if he's compelled to "try out" other women, he will continue to do so. You can accept this, ignore it, or walk away. It's up to you.
2006-09-07 18:29:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it walks like a duck....We have instinct and intuition for a reason. Trust yours. Someone once told me that 9 times out of 10 your first assumptions are right and I have found that to be true.
2006-09-07 18:21:14 · answer #8 · answered by mark t 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hickie, either a real hickie or check if there is bumps then it is a rash.yeah the vacum one is still be used after all these years huh?.ask him straight out and see what he says. then ask yourself do you really believe him os is everything coming from his mouth all BS.
2006-09-07 18:19:56 · answer #9 · answered by Amry 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're dating? Boy I hope you're not living together.
Yeah - all men cheat - he's probably cheating on you.
Maybe you should just call it off - there's lots of guys out there!
Why do you think he's cheating on you? Do you trust him? Does he trust you? Where is this going? You aren't getting married to him are you?
Good luck!
FP
2006-09-07 18:21:27 · answer #10 · answered by F. Perdurabo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋