I'm 35 my wife left and took my two precious daughters with her and am having very hard time can anyone help?

Question

My daughters are 4 and 2. It is very hard not being able to see them every night.

Answer 1

I'm so sorry. Like others said, try to visit them as often as possible. When my girls were that age their dad wouldn't call or come visit them and I ended up having to almost force him to see them, and then eventually visitation became a bit more regular. It is so important to those little girls that you not disappear from their lives. I know from experience that right now they are asking for you every night. If you cannot visit, call them. If you cannot call, send them pretty cards in the mail, maybe with a picture of you that they can keep. Mom is mad at you now, but in the long run she's not going to be able to do a complete job without you in their lives. I'm glad I put my anger and pride aside, because my girls grew up with their dad and a step-dad.

Answer 2

The reasons for her leaving and whether or not you are pursuing reconciliation haven't been answered completely.
Despite the reasons, the simple answer may be to give her space first....do not push...and real search your feelings about her, as well as the family as a whole. Think about reasons to SAVE the marriage. OK, now the hard part...

1) First of all this is painful - BEFORE you take any actions deal with your emotions first (anger, pain, rage, sorrow)
2) If counseling is not going to work and it looks like divorce is unavoidable, see first if you both can work out an agreement (Divorce lawyers are expensive...and in the end leave the both of you worse off financially).
3) If you can BOTH use the same lawyer to work out a MEDIATION and Marriage settlement. REASON: LAWYERS LOVE TO FIGHT...the more they fight...the more it costs...this way a fair and equitable settlement can be worked
4) FINALLY: DO NOT BAD MOUTH HER in front of your children...your kids are not your counsel...keep your feelings to yourself...

Time will heal wounds, but this is really a test to see if you can work through this. To see if your word is your bond as a man. To see if you can see the best friend and lover you knew when you married her. Forget about the causes for a second, and see if there is a shred of what you held together...my hope is you work it out, no finger pointing, take ownership and realize the biggest part of love is not about selfishness...it is SELFLESS.

Answer 3

I am sorry to hear that you are going through all of this. It isn't easy. The only thing that you can do is communicate with them as much as you possibly can. Phone calls before bed and spending time with them in the evenings and weekends is about as good as it gets right now. Hopefully your wife is keeping in mind that the children still need their daddy. It is the kiddos who suffer the most in these cases. The are not quite old enough to understand what is going on, only that you are not around. Make yourself very accessible to them at all times! Good luck, sweetie.

Answer 4

hopefully you can work out a plan out of court about visitation right away i see my son every wednsday after school until 7:00 pm and on the weekends from fri after school until sun at 5:00 pm when his mom comes to pick him up it has been three years we have been seperated and i havent allways had this arrangement with his mom i have been in and out of the hospital for mental reasons and still i cant help but to cry like iam five years old every single time his mom takes him home the doctors tell me iam suffering from "major deppression due to a major reduction in my personal support system" so just try to be there for your girls and let them know you will never give up on tyrying to be there dad no matter how much crap there mom puts you through life sucks when my son isnt here with me iam all alone but when my son comes i do my best to make sure he has a good time ( we do something i call reverse saturday were we do thing in reverse like eat dessert first then we eat dinner he loves this) its the kind of thing his mom would never do but he will never forget reverse saturday at dad house and thats what i strive for is to do things he will never forget and make everything fun

Answer 5

awww my heart goes out to you. I have a 4 and 2 year old :) give them a call when you miss them if its a reasonable hour. take them out for a daddy day somewhere were you could get a picture taken like the mall or Disneyland or something and get 2 copies and put one next to your bed and next to there bed i know a picture cant fix anything but it will bring a smile to your face every time you look at it :) see them every chance you get!!!

Answer 6

Being there for your children is extremely important. If I were you, I would file for 50/50 custody. There is no reason as to why you shouldn't be able to see your kids more. If you live far from them, go to court and make her move back. Whatever it takes...your kids are worth it!

Answer 7

You need to get a lawyer and get more visitation. Don't just assume that because your ex wife is a woman she will get full custody. That is just B.S. in todays world. Fight for your rights as a father.

By the way that is so sooooo sweet!!

Answer 8

Try and keep yourself busy. Work on getting custody of your children. Time really does heal all wounds. They say, give it one month for every year you were married. That is how long it should take to recover.

Answer 9

So sorry to hear about your trouble. I know what it is like not being able to see your kids...

I'm not sure what you can do to help you feel better....If you want to email me feel free...I am a pretty good listener..

Answer 10

You need to get some legal advice about how to get rights to see your children.