ok so we have been married for three years and about a year ago she caught me texting another woman that i met on myspace, nothing physical just talking, not even about sex just random ****. but since that incident she thinks i am cheating which i am not, i cant even go out with my boys anywhere without her calling my cell under a blocked id just to see if there are girls around, and when i get home she gives me the third degree and even makes me feel bad for going out. how do i get her to trust me again?
2006-09-07 10:32:32 · 16 answers · asked by ? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It is going to be hard, because you are the one that started talking to that other girl. Because you showed an interest in someone other than your wife, of course she is going to think the worst. Put yourself in her position, what if was reverse....you would be the exact same way. Perhaps you should seek counseling to maybe work through your trust issues. It is hard not to doubt someone when you know what they have done in the past.
2006-09-07 10:37:05 · answer #1 · answered by Hydee 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's going to take a long time for her to trust u again even though u haven't actually done any type of cheating. The fact that u even sought out another female to chat with is enough for any married woman to think it's more than just that. Besides, how in hell is she supposed to know u were just chatting about random stuff and not something more intimate? The only thing u can do at this pt is reassure her that it will never happen again. U have to show her that u mean it. U can't just say it and expect her to believe it. It's going to take time. Be patient.
2006-09-07 10:38:36 · answer #2 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you need to go on myspace? Is it best not to chat to women on the net? Unfortunately it has such a bad reputation that some people cannot believe it is innocent. Have you asked her what you can do to gain her trust? Maybe you both need to do more together. Do you show her total trust? If you do, ask her how she would feel if you treated her the same way. Is there good communication between you? I suspect not. Work on communication. This means taking it in turns to talk and to listen without either of you butting in! Dont be afraid to tell her how you truly feel without making judgements or casting blame. Pick your moment carefully when you are both calm and relaxed.
2006-09-07 10:41:41 · answer #3 · answered by angeldust 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You cheated. OK, nothing physical, but you DID cheat. Cheating is when a married person has a relationship that isn't totally platonic, with anybody except their spouse. To regain her trust will take time. How much time? YEARS, perhaps many years. That's why playing around is so harmful. Once it happens, it is no longer an impossibility. How long would it take you to foget about it, if you caught your wife flirting secretly with some other guy?
2006-09-07 11:09:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't need to be texting another woman, especially off of the Internet. You gave her a good reason to lose some trust, so start kissing some booty. Women think of it as one thing leads to another, so you had the start of something that could turn into a physical relationship. My suggestion- get your *** off of Myspace, and spend some time with your wife!
2006-09-07 10:49:25 · answer #5 · answered by Dre 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok are your talking to this woman about your thoughts. feelings hopes and desires? if so that is cheating! you have tacking the emotional intamate part of you relationship and given it to some one else and in anybodys book that is cheating. cheating is not just about sex! get help both of you go see a marrage counsilor if you want this to work and you need to learn how to open up to your wife, and if this other woman is just a friend then you should have told your wife about her and not hidden it. you should have also let your wife talk to her to know that there is nothing more. did you do any of that?
2006-09-07 10:37:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why should she trust you again ?? And after you did something like that your still going out with the boys ?? Maybe dont go out with the boys for a while until she has a chance to put this behind her. You have to be an open book to her if you ever expect her to trust you again. I personally think she should divorce you.
2006-09-07 10:36:22 · answer #7 · answered by JustMe 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No secrets would be the key, but I suggest showing her that she is the only girl for you. Cards, love letters, find out what her love language is and speak it LOUDLY! How about you text her? Call her while you are out, before she gets the chance, just to tell her you love her. How about doing something to proclaim that you are hers. After a while she will realize that she is the only girl for you. Finally seek counseling for trust issues.
2006-09-07 10:42:39 · answer #8 · answered by cyunos 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Treat her like you want her to be your girlfriend.
Send her flowers, invite her to dinner, so she feel you are truly in love for her. Then have a honest conversation and letting it clear that you are not even interested in cheat on her.
But for general info for you, if she calls you just to make sure there are no girls with you, you are already scr......
2006-09-07 10:42:41 · answer #9 · answered by Carlos A 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You did this all to yourself. You must of had intentions on cheating on her otherwise you would of not gave out your cell phone number. Have her hang out with you and the boys at least invite her along to see what you all are up to.
2006-09-07 10:37:39 · answer #10 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋