My wife and I have been together for 5 years and are in our mid 20's.
Were we going to wait another 3 years, but decided a month ago to start in a few months because we are both getting the baby bug.
My wife has been baby crazy for about a year, she has cried a few times when she came home after spending the day with her friends' babies. She said she felt sad because she wasn't a mother and it "hurt her heart."
Now that we plan to try for a baby she doesn't even want to look at baby stuff or talk about babies, she said she doesn't want to get her hopes up and make things worse for her.
Is this a normal thing for a woman?
2006-09-07 10:30:14 · 31 answers · asked by HappyHippo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think it is VERY normal. It is a combination of hormones leveling off from puberty and it has something to do with biology and evolution (this is my own little theory) because the best time PHYSICALLY for a woman to have a child is in their 20s. The bad thing about this is...most of the time it isn't a good choice because of finances and maturity. Also...many people decide to start families at this time so your wife is seeing what others have. Also...if you do run into fertility problems it is much easier to get them resolved the younger you are.
I went through this...and it was WAY beyond my control. You sound like responsible people but make sure your wife isn't expecting TOO much from having a baby. I have had MANY friends act this way and are crushed once they have the child because it becomes a huge wake up call between what you "thought it would be like" and what the reality of it actually is. Stay young and without such a huge responsibility as long as you can!! Have fun, travel, enjoy your time together as a couple before you have a child to put first!!!
Good luck!!! : )
2006-09-09 11:10:37 · answer #1 · answered by Jenny Girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Very normal. Only, hold off on the baby shopping until you guys are pregnant. She doesn't want to get her hopes up because she's not pregnant yet and she doesn't know how long it's going to take to get pregnant. Now, if it takes a while for you guys to get pregnant and you accumulate all this babystuff in the meantime.... it's just going to depress her and make her start thinking there's something wrong with her because she hasn't gotten pregnant as quickly as she had hoped. And as a rule that I personally follow, I never buy baby stuff any earlier than 6 months. It's a big sigh of relief when the pregnancy makes it past the 3rd month but sometimes stuff happens in the 4th or 5th month. Granted things can happen at anytime during the pregnancy but for me, I know that the baby will have a decent chance of survival if anything happened past 6 months gestation. Good Luck and Happy Baby Making!!! ;-)
2016-03-27 01:54:22 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes it is... she feels like she could be let down trust me i know. i had a miscarriage at 6 weeks before that i knew exactly what i was going to get i even bought a new teddy bear for the baby the next day or 2 i miscarried, it was devastating. so you feel like if you hope for the best but expect the worse you may not get so upset if thing don't work out how you planed. just be patient with her she will get excited after she becomes pregnant and sees that heart beat for the first time
2006-09-07 10:36:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is VERY normal. Women are made to want to make babies, that just how women are. They always have pregnancy on their minds, even if pregnancy is the furthest thing they want at the time. That's just the way our bodies are made. And now that you are trying to have a baby she's probably afraid that she wont be able to conceive. This is very natural, don't worry - this is all women, not just your wife. Have a great day!
2006-09-07 10:33:29 · answer #4 · answered by twisteddistance 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I am in the same place as she is. We just decided to start trying. Now we are having a hard time and I am only 25yrs old. I don't want to talk about it or look at any baby stuff because I feel like it is going to jinks it. Especially because we are having a hard time. She might feel like if she gets excited then its not really going to happen. I feel the same way.
2006-09-07 10:51:32 · answer #5 · answered by michiganwife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, you bet. When something is very important to us, the worst thing that can happen is that it falls apart and we end up hurt and disappointed. So we work hard to not get too into it. Once she gets pregnant, she will shop and coo and plan and be full of all the lovely things that you could possible imagine. Congratulations! Even the fact that you are asking this tells me that you are going to be a great Dad - the kind who puts the needs of his family first.
2006-09-07 10:34:38 · answer #6 · answered by Susan L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
100%. I am a woman in my 20's and my husband and I are discussing getting pregnant very soon, but I have wanted it for a long long time! Our biological clocks are ticking time bombs because once you hit your mid thirties, the odds of getting pregnant increase, and the odds of a having a baby with Down syndrome triple (seriously). So, give her a break. She doesn't want you to change your mind which is why she isn't "getting her hopes up." I understand her completely!
2006-09-07 10:33:22 · answer #7 · answered by robyn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bit young really. You do get over this phase, it lasts most 20-somethings about 6 weeks than you willbe sane again until your mid 30's. Please remember that the world is horribly overpopulated, and be very very sure that you want a child before adding to our ecological burden. if you can compensate for the strain an extra human puts on the planet, then best of luck and congratulations, but its a massive responsibility to make sure you plant enough trees, use washable nappies and all that, just be sure you are ready to leave the world the right way for your child.
2006-09-07 10:34:53 · answer #8 · answered by welsh_witch_sally 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It is totally normal. I have been going through a similar situation for about six years now. Good Luck on trying for a baby!
2006-09-07 10:34:34 · answer #9 · answered by Michelle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um...interesting....I bet i'll do the same thing..I'm not sure what it might be. The idea of having ur own..and then relizing it's happening. I made my hubby wait 4 years b4 a second one...I'm soo into haveing another one now then ever b4....i looked at maz for babys shopped at baby clothes..now i'm haveing my second one and i dont want to deal with it...It like OMG...what was i thinking. It could be overwelming...now ur live changes once again.
2006-09-07 10:34:05 · answer #10 · answered by csabrinam 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋