Has anyone ever thought they have made the wrong life choice, but it is too late to fix the possible mistake?

Question

When I was in high school I had the opportunity to pursue a religious calling to the priesthood; however I chose a different route. I chose to ignore the religious calling and continue with a "regular life" and ended up getting married. I have been happy in my marriage, for the most part, for over two years, but I am now suffering from depression and constantly think of whether or not I made the right choice. I guess there is nothing I can do about it since I don't agree with the thought or act of divorce and I have made the commitment so I intend to stay with it. I was just wondering if anyone had any advice for me?

Answer 1

Follow you calling now. It is never to late to follow God and do good. You could do other things to serve the Lord besides priesthood. You could become missionary's, help the needy & poor, and so many other things. You wife is not a mistake. She is a beautiful woman that God brought your way. Talk to her about your true feeling and maybe you can follow Gods plan together. A man can always use a good faithful woman by his side. Please pray on this and listen to what God tells you. God doesn't make mistakes and the ones you make God can set right. Have a great evening.

Answer 2

I got to the end of my junior year at SFSU majoring in Biology with a concentration in Ecology. I wanted to get into Environmental Science or something like that. It was a long time ago so Environmental Science wasn't really a subject on its own yet. I realized my degree was teaching me a lot about field biology but very little environmental science. In fact, I discovered that most of the jobs doing things I was interested in were done by people with civil engineering and similar backgrounds. What I didn't know was that it didn't matter. Getting a degree mattered but what degree didn't. Since I hadn't learned that yet, I dropped out in my senior year with thirteen units left to go. I found out the hard way (after doing accounting for 20 years) that it doesn't matter what your degree is in, especially not undergrad and especially not in business or IT. Those skills you will learn ion the job. If you are in your last semester, then finish. I am finishing my bachelor's 26 years later. i have two weeks left to go. You will make more money and can still probably get the type of work that you want. You will probably find that it was not the wrong choice at all. There are a ton of system admins out there who don't know a damn thing about Alan Turing or Information processing theory. In the end, you'll get enough of whatever you choose to do when you do it. Why study it? And if you studied for 4 years already why do it for work? I hope that helps.

Answer 3

Truth be told, we have all made mistakes in life. Some that we can go back and fix, but many that we cannot. You may not be able to pursue the priesthood, but you can still work in the calling of ministry in your church. Talk to your priest about it and I'm sure he will help guide you into a work of service that will bring joy to you. The priest cannot do all of the work. There is a great deal of opportunity for the "regular" people to help. good luck and may you find peace and a place of service.

Answer 4

Firstly, if you are happy in your marriage why are you thinking about alternative lives and becoming depressed as a result?

Secondly you seem to be looking at this as an all or nothing option. If you are truely happy in your marriage you can still address your calling perhaps not as completely as if you were single but I would find it hard to believe that if you wished to assist your religous leader with some aspect of the worship of your faith in your community, that they would turn you down.

Might be worth considering what you believe you would have gained from following your calling that you cannot gain from your 'regular life'. Perhaps it's a cause of the grass being greener on the other side?

If devotion to your religon is something that would truely make you happy there are ways and means of gaining that happiness whilst maintaining a happy marraige. Speak with your religous leaders about ways of serving your faith from your current position. Ever considered being a teacher etc in your religous community?

Good luck with it, I hope you find a happy medium in your life.

Answer 5

My advice is don't "what if" yourself to death. You cannot change the past. You have decided you will not end your marriage (kudos to you!) so focus on that, if you don't that may get difficult as well. Try becoming very involved in the church, maybe become a Eucharistic minister, do the readings - anything! My sister teaches a confirmation class. Maybe if you do that you can feel you are getting the best of both worlds, so to speak. Good luck and God Bless you and your family!

Answer 6

Depression will play tricks with your mind, making you question anything and everything. You have to recognize that had you made a different choice, you would have been questioning it, too. Appreciate what you have, don't get too hung up on trying to deduce every possible route your life could have taken. First and foremost, get treatment for depression, don't let it control you. It will really mess things up before you even know it.

Answer 7

You must not cry over spilled milk. God may have ordained the decision that you made to get married. If not, I believe you wouldn't be happy. Remember, getting married is also blessed by God. I am sure if it wasn't the right thing to do you would be suffering in your marriage now.

Sometimes we wonder "What If", but we will never know because that road was not chosen. Just know that God will lead and direct you in your decision. Just continue to put your faith and trust in him. Maybe there is another gift that you have that you can do in the church.

Seek God, and he will direct your path.

Answer 8

You're depressed because you're angry with yourself. The first thing you need to do is forgive yourself for what you perceive as a mistake.
The next thing you need to do is talk to your wife about this, because if she feels that it was a mistake, too, then a divorce (or annulment) would probably be the best thing for both of you. If you decide that it isn't the best road, that's okay, too. But the key is to look forward in your life, not backward.
Good luck.

Answer 9

I think that people always want what they dont have and think the grass is greener. It rarely ever is. Try to put all the energy your waisting thinking about this and put it towards your marriage. I think you made the right choice.

Answer 10

It's too bad you can't be a priest and be married. I bet if you were a priest you'd have doubts about whether you shoulda gotten married instead.