why do i have the feeling my boyfriend is cheating we been together for about 4 years we have a baby on the way but hes been going out alot with no call i found condoms in his car we have great sex and offten i dont no what im doing wrong i need advice and also is my chance ruined for finding another guy being pregnet???? Please help me im so sad
2006-09-07 09:47:59 · 27 answers · asked by taken 1 in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
That's what guys do...
It is their nature..
When a man cheats, it is not with his heart, it is with a different organ....
When a woman cheats, it is with her heart....and that is worse...
2006-09-07 18:25:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Selfishness & being self-centered, short term thinking.
He isn't thinking about the consequences of his actions on you, your relationship or the baby.
It is not your fault he is a cheater. No matter how beautiful or thin or hot you are some guys will always cheat. Beautiful celebrities get cheated on all the time...
Sometimes it is shocking to see how skanky the "other" woman is. My friend was cheated on, and the girls the guy picked out looked like rejects from a tatoo parlor in Tiajuana. My friend is beautiful, 5'11", strawberry blond hair, face like a model, good morals....Bottom line, IT WAS ALL HIM.
Your chances for finding another guy are not "ruined", but here is my advice. Don't try to find another guy right away.
Your "people picker" is obviously broken. It needs some time to repair and re allign. You have a baby on the way that will need your focus. Besides you need to repair your heart, not to focus on trying to "please" a new man. Find out what makes YOU happy and do that.
See if your family can help you with the bills for a bit until you can get stabilized.
Even if you aren't religious, join a church, they are great support for families. Many have child care, and you can usually get some kind of counsiling from the minister to help you get through this tough time. Even just for a new group of people to support you it is worth going. You need people right now. Plus it never hurts to pray.
Good luck.
2006-09-07 10:39:47 · answer #2 · answered by Crystal Violet 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did you allow yourself to get pregnant without getting married first?
And I'm really P.O.'ed with your comment about being concerned on finding another guy because you are pregnant!!!!
Oh, the irony...and there's a darn good chance boyfriend will drop you and baby like a hot potato by the time baby is born.
Look - if he's cheating, the answer is so plain and simple: he has NO commitment, no obligation, no responsibility, oath or allegiance to you.
I would hope that you two both come to your senses - for the baby's' sake.
If boyfriend continues to be a no-account chump, seek legal help...it takes two to tango and he's partly responsible for creating this new life.
On the other hand, with your vulgar request for advice so that you can find another boyfriend, maybe you best seek adoption for the baby or get an abortion.
From what you've said, you don't sound like great mommy material for a baby.
Oh - parting shot: it isn't just guys who cheat.
2006-09-07 10:01:19 · answer #3 · answered by docscholl 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not all guys cheat. However, a type of male whom women find very attractive does cheat, and often. Women like confident men, and that's a good thing. But sometimes they end up attracted to arrogant or cocky men, and that's another thing entirely. Going way beyond self-confident, these fellows are self-absorbed -- they don't care about other people nearly as much as they care about themselves and their own needs. They never want for dates, or for temptation, because they have that confident vibe, but they're jerks, so they seldom have a real relationship that lasts very long.
This may or may not describe your own precise situation. If it does, leave him and find a guy who's confident, rather than arrogant; learn to tell the difference. If it doesn't describe your exact situation, you should still leave the sap now, as hard as it is. Don't subject the poor kid to him, or make the kid go through trauma because you have to break it off with dad later. After you chuck the loser, do your best to stay busy, rather than desperate -- busy people get more dates, in part because while being busy they meet more people.
Good luck.
2006-09-07 10:01:11 · answer #4 · answered by Graythebruce 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well...there could be many reasons, by finding condoms in the car I would assume my boyfriend was cheating too. But maybe he got scared. being with you for so long and having a baby on the way was showing that he was growing up and that he has a lot of responsibility, plus, im sure a lot of people have been pushing him to marry you. just cause hes cheating doesnt mean he doesnt love you. You need to have a mature talk with him and see what you can do to work it out. This baby needs a male model in its life and its daddy would be the best.
2006-09-07 09:56:44 · answer #5 · answered by TroubleRose 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's more like why do people cheat. It's not only men who cheats, women cheat too because of tons of reasons. But whatever their reason might be doesn't always project your shortcomings. We all make mistakes and do things that tick people off. To cheat is their choice and it's not dependent on how he's treated because if someone is not happy there's always a way out. What they do only reflects how they value their relationship and how they value someone. Don't mope and think that you did something wrong. He did it because he doesn't appreciate you enough and you don't really deserve to be with that kind of guy. And don't worry so much if you'll ever find another man with your situation if in case you guys break up. I believe that if you had to end this relationship you will find someone who will love you for who you really are, accepts you and your child.
2006-09-07 18:42:40 · answer #6 · answered by ---- 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he does that, there is a problem. He is not honest. He should be helping you and preparing himself for the child.
Sex is not all in a relationship. You (both) shouldn't consider it so important, at least it is not the "only" thing. People aren't sexual machines. We have many abilities, we must discover our objective in life. We can work in our development and we can work for a better society.
I don't know how this problem will finish, but you will learn important things. You are very young and you can be optimistic. Being pregnet will be a transition stage. Of course you will manage to organize your life and to find another guy if you wish. Your friends and your family will help you. If you need, you can find help in many organisations, in the churchs...
Maybe you will find a quick and happy end. But if you feel hopeless and you don't know what to do, I could search for some help (no problem, even if I'm not in the USA). If you need, you can write to me and I'll find a solution to your problem.
2006-09-07 11:02:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am gonna be honest with you...and I hope that you listen...Sometimes guy just cheat because they can. it sounds stupid but they do...even if they are in great relationships with good sex...sometimes that makes them wanna cheat even more. I myself have been with my girlfriend for almost 5 years...and I cheat...im not dumb enough to leave condoms in my car but I do. And mostly all my friends do...married ...not married..in long term relationships. Its not that we have anything against our girlfriends but we get bored...no matter how good the sex is...plus its like a mentality of ...we want our cake and we wanna eat it too...we may have a hot girlfriend..but why stop there. Its selfish and stupid i know but sometimes we arent mentally ready to commit to one girl sexually for the rest of our lives..its really reallly really really hard. I tried and i wore down after 3 years. There are guys out there that won't cheat...but they are few and far between...Im sorry, Plus I blame other girls sometimes...because sometimes really hot girls come on to us and we just get carried away..plus having a kid makes us feel like we are stuck with the girl who is having it so we wanna get it all out of our systems before that happens. Was the baby a planned thing or did it just happen? if it just happend then u might have ur answer right there...all guys are differnt.
2006-09-07 09:56:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I am gonna have to agree with most of the guys here, Its usually in thier nature to cheat...and most guys don't want to have babies soon...thats why there are so many single moms out there. No real man wants to settle down unless he is sure thats the girl he wants to be with for the rest of his life....Guys cheat no matter how pretty the girls is or how long they have been together...Look at hallie berry..she is gorgeous and her man cheats...Its just the way life is. Thats why people should wait until they are married to have babies. Sorry to break it to ya...but your catching a strong case of SMS...Single mother syndrome!
2006-09-07 10:06:46 · answer #9 · answered by Sarah D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
we as men need to conquer as many women as we possibly can its just in our nature. When we have sex we dont have emotions involved thats why its easy for us.Its just pure physical pleasure. We can love someone but have sex with someone else no matter how good the sex is with that person. If you suspect that hes cheating he probably is your best bet is to break up with him and have him pay child support. Your chances on meeting someone else depends on your lifestyle. Lose the weight after pregnancy and take care of yourself cause having a baby can be emotionlly and physically draining.
2006-09-07 10:01:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Better to find out now if he's the unfaithful kind and no, your chances of meeting another man who will love and accept your child are not ruined. You're young, seem affectionate and caring and there are many men who would readily accept that responsibility.
2006-09-07 09:55:12 · answer #11 · answered by fun_guy_otown 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋