Anyting goes.. make me laugh:)
2006-09-07 09:26:43 · 7 answers · asked by Mr. Owl 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Other - Entertainment
A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, Harry, what's your problem?" Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!" Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was.
The principal told Ms Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed. Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test. Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Harry: "9".
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Harry: "36".
And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her,"I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade." Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask himsome questions." The principal and Harry both agreed. Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?" Harry, after a moment: "Legs." Ms. Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?" The principal wondered, why would she ask such a question! Harry replied: "Pockets." Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Harry: "Pants"
Ms. Brooks: What's starts with a C, ends with! a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?
Harry: "Coconut."
The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open. Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?" The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer.
Harry: "Bubble gum"
Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?" Harry: "Shake hands." The principal was trembling.
Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?"
Harry: "Firetruck"
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last even questions wrong......
2006-09-07 09:31:48 · answer #1 · answered by mcrpunkette99 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This morning a cop came to my house to follow up on an investigation he's working on. Evidently I parked my car at some crime scene overnight (cuz the headlights don't work) and retrieved it the next morning. "Do you own a blue Mercedes?" Yes sir, mine. "Do you know where it is now" Yes, it's at my aunt's house, I said... I wonder if he needs to find my car so he can question the it also? Perhaps it's not just Volkswagens named Herbie but all German cars can talk.
2006-09-07 16:38:06 · answer #2 · answered by McCue-Tuk,Biologist 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You mama's so stupid; a cup hit her and told the police she got mugged.
Yo Mamma sooo stupid, we were in the car and I said, "we need more gas" so she farted.
You momma is so stupid she went to sleep with a ruler to see how long she slept
Your mom's so fat she can't even jump to a conclusion.
Your mom's so fat, when she dances the band skips.
Your mother's so fat; her clothes have stretch marks.
Your momma is so fat not even God can lift her spirit.
Your Momma is so fat, when she went to a hotel and asked for a water bed, they put a blanket over the ocean.
Your Mamma is so fat she's got more chins than a Chinese phonebook.
Yo momma is so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot-out.
yo momma is so musky that she made rightguard turn left.
Yo momma so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
Yo momma so nasty she bent over and gave our loaf o'bread a yeast infection.
Yo momma so stupid when she heard 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
Yo mama is so dumb when someone told her Christmas was around the corner, she went around the corner and looked!
yo mamma is so stupid she tripped over a cordless telephone.
You momma is so stupid she thought menopause was a button on the VCR.
Yo momma so stupid she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain.
Yo mamma so fat when she put on an x-files t-shirt a helicopter landed on her
I apologise for the your mama jokes... but to be fair they made me laugh... Hope it does for you :)
2006-09-07 16:37:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i went to the doctors as i had a mince pie stuck up my bum, the doc said hey iv'e got some cream for that....
2006-09-07 16:33:27 · answer #4 · answered by chris w. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
um........im scaed (yes scaed) of umpa loompas .... i want to run um ova wit a ca and when im done id take a wak in the gaden then id get rid of this accent
2006-09-07 16:29:58 · answer #5 · answered by Heat seeking missile 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want a chuckle just look between your legs!
2006-09-07 16:28:43 · answer #6 · answered by MetallicaRule 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
SORRY NOT IN THE MOOD. NO OFFENCE
2006-09-07 16:33:12 · answer #7 · answered by Linda 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋