A few days ago my girlfriend of 4 & 1/2 years and I split up. She told me that the love she had for me had slowly disappeared over the last couple months, but she still loves me as a friend. She wants to be friends and not lose anything, except for the romance. Both of us are going off to college, but don't let that automatically be the reason. We had an unbelievably perfect relationship through high school...the best of friends, trusting each other with everything. The last 1/2 year has been rough, as we've both been stressed out by college preparation, etc. We constantly talked about how much we were meant for each other and nothing would ever get between us. But now we're split and I'm not sure how to deal with it. She's also been stressed by volleyball, trying to be perfect and all, so that's taken a lot of her focus. I just need some advice in general from experienced people. Can I hope to one day get back with her? How do I move on? Do I stay friends? Any help would be great!
2006-09-07 09:18:12 · 12 answers · asked by madmaxi_008 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
That's a really long time to be dating someone, especially if you just graduated high school. Your best bet is to go to college, have fun, but don't forget about the times with her. There is always hope that you will be together if you were meant to be. It will take time to get over her. Try to stay strong. It might feel good to be on your own for a while. Good luck!
2006-09-07 09:51:00 · answer #1 · answered by Annie Girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is an extremely common thing. I would suggest that you not be so quick to dismiss the upcoming change to college as a factor. And being that young, maybe both of you need to experience college unhindered. That probably isn't what you want to hear, but I went through the same thing. I'd just take a step back from her, go your separate ways for a while, and then after time passes maybe work on the friendship. Trying to be friends right now when you're hurting may not work out the way you want it to. I also would put off thinking about getting back together with her until you get to college and see what is out there waiting for you. I wish you the best of luck.
2006-09-07 09:26:44 · answer #2 · answered by francesfarmer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Deja voo. It's like you are my ex, only three years ago! So weird. Since I have been there... almost exactly... I will try to give you some advice. I too was with my first love from the summer before my freshman year until midway through my senior year. He was my very best friend and I always "knew" we'd be together forever. Things do change. The summer after our graduation, we got back together and it was as though we were never apart. But we started having the same probs again and it ended a second time. To this day (it's been almost three years), I miss him and love him dearly. However, I have learned that sometimes you just need to let go and give that person what they need. Besides, this is the best time for you to get to know yourself better. Focus on your studies and spend real quality time with your friends. Know that being her friend may not work in the way that she seems to want it to though. Having that person you loved for so long that close without really "having" them causes a lot of problems. Jealousy, for instance. Keep in touch with her, if you can... and you might find that after some time you're both ready to try it again. I wish you the very best of luck!
2006-09-07 09:25:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but you've been with this girl since you were 14, then?
Here's how you move on, and I am deadly serious.
1. Go to college
2. Get drunk
3. Make out with hot college chick
Now, you may be saying, "But what about the regret I'll experience the next morning? And the hangover?"
You're right. But with repetition of steps 1-3, those nasty side effects vanish.
If you're still at the stage in your life where someone can be "stressed by volleyball," then you're just not ready for this level of relationship. You will be someday.
2006-09-07 09:22:56 · answer #4 · answered by smurfette 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, YES you can remain friends!! You didn't state whether you both are going away to different colleges. In trying to read between the lines, I believe you are. You are about to embark on a brand new chapter in your life. Don't let this break-up set you back. Look at this as your first BIG LESSON IN LIFE. Don't be bitter, it will only hurt you in the future. The first love is the hardest love to get over, especially if you are the one being turned down.
If you want to talk more you can contact me.
2006-09-07 09:30:05 · answer #5 · answered by lariat_sonata 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm in along term relationship and its not easy b/c me and this guy use to go on n off for like 3 years.We went tru the same thing. But right now it seems that both of you want to get your life together academically and thats good so maybe your ex just needs time to herself so get take care of school and just get situated it seems that alot is going on inher life and she wants to dedicate that time to herself. But look when something is meant to be it will come back it may not be next month but it will come back.Its hard but life goes on and school and other things will distract you.
2006-09-07 09:33:30 · answer #6 · answered by Angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it rather is a hundred% a education situation. He has discovered that despite he does somebody will harm his mouth, and additionally he has no longer discovered that a delicate experience on the reins ability end. think of - a horse has to study to end once you employ the reins, they are no longer born understanding it. he desires an fantastically experienced guy or woman to retrain him to comprehend what those indicators mean. All his ridden existence he has leaned into that soreness because of the fact he does not comprehend it. The greater good you pull, the greater he runs from it. he will run merely as no longer undemanding in a bitless in case you merely substitute without education. He needs to study from the floor to coach, end, decrease back up from the gentlest touch and to end once you drop the reins on his neck, in the previous you start to experience and tutor the comparable on the walk, then trot, then canter. no person could desire to ever back haul on his mouth considering which will deliver him precise decrease back the place he started. that's executed besides the indisputable fact that it could take an prolonged time and many endurance. additionally a bitless could be good for retraining because of the fact he does not have already got undesirable institutions with it, yet for heavens sake do no longer purely placed one on you will finally end up hauling on his nostril somewhat of his mouth. good success and have endurance
2016-09-30 10:52:23 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will get over her in time, right now you need to concentrate on collage, you are going to meet so many new people in college, I know it seems hard for you, because 4 years is along time, you both need space, if and when the time is right, you will meet, your special lady!!
2006-09-07 09:40:32 · answer #8 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well first thing, its great that the Two of You can remain good friends, and yes, all you have to do is just be thankfull for the time you two we're together. letting her know you will be there for her, will show her you still have a place in ytour heart for her......and who knows a'lot of it Can be the stress of a bust life, good luck bro let me know how things turn out.
2006-09-07 09:23:48 · answer #9 · answered by rpoker 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dude your young and you have plenty more heart breaks ahead trust me. You take it day by day. occupy your time and dont go dating again youll just hurt that other girl. Life is about changes and this is one that you have to go through and youll be ok i promise. Keep your chin man youll be ok
2006-09-07 09:22:01 · answer #10 · answered by patrick b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋