my wife was hiding a "toy"...adult question?

Question

I stumbled upon a sex toy my wife was hiding.
First of all - i had never seen one before - so it was a bit of a shock.
Secondly- its was very "large"...a sensative issue with me.
I was not blessed size-wise, and my wife has told me that does not matter to her.
SO...why does she need this?
I confronted her, she seemed almost like she felt bad for hiding it.
I know her ex before me was very big, and had major girth...is this making up for something I Iack?
I'm not into the "toy" thing at all - so I would never use it with her.
Should I be happy its a toy, and not a well-hung guy?
What happens when using this - on herself - gets that gets boring to her?
I'll be thinking about this now when we have sex - its kind of hard to match something like that!

Any suggestions??

Answer 1

i doubt it has anything to do with the size of you or your girth...it really is in how you use it. i've been with some big guys and it ws nothing but painful for me...anyway-back to your situation. i wouldn't be freakin out over it, it is just a toy...and maybe you should try and use it with her...you should be focused her getting pleased and it's not to say you don't already. she prolly went to a sex toy party and felt obligated to buy something...and she may have used it a few times...it's no biggie...don't blow this out of the water...it's not worth a fight over. i think you need to work on your own insecurities...women pick up on that and it makes them feel insecure at times. not healthy for a relationship. besides there is nothing wrong with masturbation...i enjoy making love with my man..but there are times i get all hot for him and he's not around...so i tend to myself...i personally don't choose to use toys though, i find they feel to fake...my hand works well enough...and then when i see him..i just wanna jump his bones! go out and buy your self one of those rubber virgina's...even if you never use it..it may make you feel better...knowing you are "even" with her. in the end you guys should be able to be open enough with eachother ...talk about your different fantasies and whatnot...nothing worng with that at all..very healthy!:) good luck

Answer 2

She probably was hiding it since you state you are not into toys. When you found it, it sounds like you were angry - you "confronted" her and would "never use it with her." You should have a heart to heart discussion about it - Did she get it as a gag gift from a girlfriend? Did she buy it, and if so, was it just for a personal fantasy or is she missing something in your love life? If she is using a toy and not having an affair, she obviously loves you and still wants to make love with you - you really don't need to worry about what she does in private with her toy. A fantasy is just a fantasy, and not every woman enjoys masturbating by clicking her mouse. I'm sure when you are masturbating you don't only think of her. You may be overreacting a bit since you seem self-conscious about your small size - which it probably isn't "small" - you just see it that way. As long as it does the job, it is the perfect size! You also may want to try playing with her and the toy - you may find that although a toy doesn't turn you on, it turns you on to see how much she enjoys it.

Answer 3

2

Answer 4

Guys put way more thought into the size issue than women do.
Size is not as important as you think. You probably think that you are less size-able than you actually are, same as most women think they are fat when they actually are not. Bigger is not better. Better is better!
I'd feel a little devastated if my guy was hiding something similar from me. The hiding it issue is your biggest concern.
Maybe she has a bit of kink in her style that she feels awkward about because you obviously frown on that whole deal.
I think that you need to ask her whether or not she has any fantasies that the two of you could indulge in. Maybe you should mix things up a bit. Not so much with toys or props, but you might try just having your way with her at a time and place that isn't par for the course. Or maybe say at the grocery store you could lean in and whisper to her that you wish you were both alone right now.
I think marriage is give and take. Sex is no different. Ultimately, you want to please her. You should talk to her, without being pushy and oversensitive. It is what it is, work from here.
Good luck

Answer 5

Key words in your whole "question" YOUR wife, and her EX. They are called ex's for a reason - she is married to you! If she wasn't happy with you she wouldn't have married you. She probably felt bad because she knows that you are sensitive about the size of your package and didn't want it to bother you because it's not a big issue to her. However she knows that having the toy would bother you, but she still has fun with it. Sounds like you should be happy she is using a toy - if you aren't in to the dildos, then maybe you can try some other toys, they aren't all for her pleasure, they have things for men as well that you may be open to using and really enjoy.

Answer 6

Use it on her from time to time. If she's gonna use, there's nothing you can do to stop her - she's a grown woman. Maybe if you become a bit more open to it she'll be turned on, try it before you say you hate it! Sex toys are supposed to be huge...it's all for the imagination.

Loosen up and try to have fun with it. After all, at least it's a toy and not another man in your bed!

Answer 7

First of all toys during sex can be alot of fun. what kind a guy wouldnt enjoy that? You shouldnt be pressuring her not to use it, it really doesnt matter what you do for her in the bedroom-shes not using a toy because you suck in bed, shes using it because its a form of masterbation. Should she ban you from jerking off?

It sounds like your really insecure about how you perform and this is why she hid it from you. She wasnt hiding it because you suck in bed, she hid it because she knew how you would react, and did not want to make you more insecure.

Shes lieing to you if she says that size doesnt matter-of course it does-but what matters more is how your using what you have. You need to be more open for new things, and to explore other options. Sex isnt supost to be boring, its supost to be fun and sensual.

For a man this is very unusual, I havent heard of a man getting upset over a toy before-usually its a major turn on seing a women using it. Maybe you just need to try it, and I bet you would like it.

Hope this helps

Answer 8

Dang guy,I was very anti toy to begin with and my husband is well hung but from a womans side let me tell you that no matter how you are hung if the love and compasion isnt there to get a woman to the place she needs to be,then it isnt going to matter what size you are,some woman,myself included,thirst for satisfaction,not always is a man able to do this,we love the thrill and excitement that gets us to that point and we got to have it,open up and give it a chance,you might find out that her toy brings both of your sex lives back to life

Answer 9

maybe you should try the toy with her after you get off. She probably likes to be romantic with you and enjoy you, but maybe the toy pleases her more?? Give it a shot and try to be open about your feelings. You should be glad that she's not getting it somewhere else. She would probably be more that happy to let you use it on her or play with it in front of you. Be more open and you sex life will grow stronger. (And, by the way, it's not the size that matters, it's how you use it! My ex was big and it didn't work for me, but my boyfriend now is not that big, but i hav more pleasure with him than ever, because he knows how to please me.)

Answer 10

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my wife was hiding a "toy"...adult question?
I stumbled upon a sex toy my wife was hiding.
First of all - i had never seen one before - so it was a bit of a shock.
Secondly- its was very "large"...a sensative issue with me.
I was not blessed size-wise, and my wife has told me that does not matter to her.
SO...why does she need...